Suspended from school

babylamb76 · 20-05-2023 11:03am #1

My child was suspended from school Wednesday til Friday for vaping at the bus stop now rest assured I've spoken to them , taking phone , tablet ect. I had a meeting with the school on Tuesday evening agreed with the punishment the school gave.

Here's my problem, my child is due back to school Monday morning they have asked me to come in for a meeting again Monday morning when child is returning to school. I explained I'm covering annual leave in work Monday I can come in Tuesday they said my child can't return to school now til Tue at 11.30 time of the meeting as they can't return with out another meeting ... Is this protocol. It's means the suspension is 4 and a half days because I can't get time off work.

Any advice welcome

Thanks

gormdubhgorm · 20-05-2023 11:09am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058297229/suspended-from-school

Can you send someone else in as your proxy relative/friend etc? Or is there an option to attend remotely at your lunch break?

Plus would the extra day suspended be any harm to your child? It could be another good lesson learnt about how rules and protocol can sometimes be unfair. But if your child did not get themselves in that position in the first place the situation would never have arisen.

babylamb76 · 20-05-2023 11:22am

I'm not asking parenting advice I understand my children has gotten them selves into this situation, they have been punished my me and the school punishment was three days. What I'm trying to get at is I've had a meeting with the school I'm willing to have another meeting but they have to lose out on another day and a half schools when exams start the same week , can the school not the let the child back for another day and a half ? Because I can't make a meeting even though I had a meeting on Tue.

mosstin · 20-05-2023 11:28am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058297229/suspended-from-school

This sounds excessive beyond belief to me. Vaping at the bus stop is a 3 day suspension? Christ. But to not allow your child back because you can't get off work to attend the meeting just seems spiteful on top of a pretty draconian punishment. You've already had one meeting with the school so I can't figure out why they'd need a 2nd one before allowing your child back. If it was some sort of bullying/violent issue, fair enough maybe but the punishment doesn't really seem to fir the crime here.

babylamb76 · 20-05-2023 11:37am

No bullying issue or anything, I was shocked my child was vaping and I agreed with the three day suspension because I was so mad at the vaping. But I can't believe they can't go bk to school til I have had another meeting the meeting was with the principal the year head wasn't there that day. I received a letter yesterday to say about the suspension and to meet with year head Monday morning when I rang to say I can't make Monday she said my child can't return til I have the meeting on Tuesday at 11.30. , I couldn't believe it. They said it's just protocol, I'm trying to find out is this protocol.

I read that if a school wants to suspend for more than three days it has to go to board of management but that's all I can see. Thanks for your reply x

Big Bag of Chips · 20-05-2023 11:57am

Many schools have the policy of students are not allowed back until parents have a meeting with the school. The meeting is to show your child that you and the school are on the same side and you are both going to be watching his behaviour in future. You could ask if a phone call meeting could be arranged as you cannot get the time off work. Your son could be in the room with them, and you could be on speaker phone. I don't know how you're going to arrange this now over the weekend.

But to answer your question - yes. Most schools have the policy that students are not allowed back to school until they parents have come in for a meeting. The suspension was originally for 3 days. The ball is now in your court as to when he returns. It could still be Monday morning, if you can arrange someone to go in your place.

Also the meeting will probably be a 10/15 minute meeting. Can you tell work you will be in slightly late? I know you are covering annual leave, but if you were sick/flat tyre/stuck behind a pile-up etc then work would survive without you on Monday.

20-05-2023 11:59am

Check the school’s website for their code of discipline policy. It should lay out step by step the protocol used by the school.

Ger Roe · 20-05-2023 11:59am

If they say it's protocol, then it probably is.

There is no national standard of practice applied across the whole school system. Each school, through its board of management, effectively makes their own operational rules, applicable for their own situations. The principle being, you can send your child to whatever school you want, based on their specific ethos and associated rules.

Their policy on deciplinary matters, should be available to you (probably on the website) and if they say a second meeting is required, then that is how they operate.

Str8outtaWuhan · 20-05-2023 12:17pm

Op I would check the code of behaviour with regard to vaping/smoking if there is no mention of what happens after school you should not have agreed to suspension and the principal had no power to suspend for a non school related activity which is technically legal. He /she might use the old school uniform trope but it will not stand up to a section 29 appeal. Yes you should come down like a ton of bricks on them for vaping, but by agreeing to suspension you have given the school all the power. Technically codes are behaviour do have a "meet with X before y comes back to school" clause but never specifies a timeframe so you are well within your rights to ask for that meeting at 5am Monday morning 🤣.

Dr Turk Turkelton · 20-05-2023 12:28pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120619805#Comment_120619805

This is the reason why so many kids are pricks at school nowadays. All about "rights".

Str8outtaWuhan · 20-05-2023 12:33pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120619830#Comment_120619830

Like how schools had the right to beat kids, exclude traveller kids by putting them on rolling extensions. Schools reach should stop at the gates not extend beyond it. That type of power belongs in the past.

Tomw86 · 20-05-2023 12:34pm

Yeah I can't see how the school can suspend for vaping outside of school hours and not on school property. If they had anything covering their uniform (jacket) then that excuse won't stand up either. Is this your child's first offence in this regards as the punishment seems excessive?

My thoughts on the meeting are exactly as the aboce- ask for the meeting at 7 to 7.30am (or whatever suits you) and state you can do it in person or virtually. If they are unwilling then tell them you can do it after X o'clock but it will be virtual as they have refused your window for in person meetings. Your job would surely allow you 15mins to take a personal call?

Str8outtaWuhan · 20-05-2023 12:41pm

If they refuse an early meeting I would call their bluff send your kid to school. They are legally obliged to accept him and they would have to supervise him all day regardless. All communication via email. Assuming your kid is a first offender this is a principal playing at the hard chaw and in my experience they often need their wings clipped. Gone are the days where the front pews in the church were reserved for the headmaster and the Sargent.

spurious · 20-05-2023 12:44pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120619805#Comment_120619805

I would safely say the school have that one covered. No reason they would go looking for suspensions (whioch are a royal pain in the ass for schools) if it was not in their policy, signed and agreed with by the parents (and often the child too) on enrolment.

babylamb76 · 20-05-2023 12:57pm

It is the child's first offense the bus stop is on school grounds and it was just after school at four a teacher saw him with a vape in his hand... I'm sure it's in the rules about smoking or vaping and I agreed with the suspension but I can't wrap my head around that they can't accept him back Monday and il go for a meet, be it the second one on Tuesday.

I checked the rules on suspension and it says if the school wants to suspend any child for more than three days it has to be approved by the school board of management... It will be affectly 4and a half days off. And his exams start Wednesday morning.

Str8outtaWuhan · 20-05-2023 1:06pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120619928#Comment_120619928

Well if it was on school grounds that's a different story. The school is right to suspend but you still have the right to be seen at earliest possible convience Monday morning. If they won't accommodate send child in as normal .

Count Dracula · 20-05-2023 1:27pm

I hope you have explained to your child about the benefits of cooperating and adhering to the school rules? It is very important that you initiate a respectful compromise with your child's school about their conditions and expectations of your child's behaviour prior to returning to school.

If I were you I would let your kid off now for the summer and keep a firm eye on your child's behaviour over the summer. Why go back for a few weeks? Explain to your school that you feel that is enough for the time being and that you have better expectations for next year. #flattentheirdrama

If your child is experiencing a challenging environment at school they may not be comfortable with going back anyway. Have you asked your child what their plans are for the summer? If they are old enough to smoke there should be no problem getting a nice part time job for the summer, the devil and idle hands, you know?

How did you reprimand your child for disobeying the school rules?

Your work problem should not interfere with your child's education. If you want your child back at school, get yourself in there Monday morning for the hard warning and then go to work? Dental appointment, fat tyre , sore stomach etc - your boss will understand if you need an hour at 9am on a Monday morning.

good luck with it.

mosstin · 20-05-2023 1:52pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120620003#Comment_120620003

Take a few weeks off? If every parent followed this advice, every child in the country would start vaping.

Str8outtaWuhan · 20-05-2023 2:07pm

All but exams years and all teachers at secondary finished in 10 working days.

babylamb76 · 20-05-2023 2:12pm

I can't just keep him off school he has summer exams I'm eager to get him to return to school.

I have explained all to my child I agreed with the schools suspension and reprimanded my child , he has had his electrical items confiscated and no pocket money along with a long talk regarding rule breaking , vaping etc.

I wish it was as simple as just go in at 10 am. I'm covering annual leave for a colleague on holiday I work at a busy reception talking calls from 8.30 am I could do lunch time Monday but no it was either 9.15 am Monday or tue 11,30. My whole post here is about them not letting him return Monday morning and is this right. Not have I spoke to my child or keeping him off or getting a jobs , I just want to know can the school not let him return even though he has done his three days suspension

thanks

babylamb76 · 20-05-2023 2:18pm

I know, It's bad enough when they are off sick and the school rings. If I kept him off they would probably report me to tusla or something especially when he has summer exams .

I'm eager to get him to return to school

The point of my post is just to see that as my child done his three days suspension can they make him stay off another day and half , thank you for your reply

Big Bag of Chips · 20-05-2023 2:44pm

Yes, they can. The conditions of him returning to school are that you and he attend a meeting with the school. Until that happens, he will not be returning. He is no longer suspended however. He will be marked as absent on Monday and Tuesday rather than suspended. They won't report you if you keep him off, unless he has missed 20+ days in the year.

If you were sick on Monday morning, someone else would cover reception. Tell work you have a family emergency and will be an hour late. Being called to the school is an emergency. You could be called out of work to go collect your child and you'd have to leave work. You are not the only person who can cover the reception on Monday morning.

Count Dracula · 21-05-2023 7:49pm

Trollfest

Havenowt · 22-05-2023 2:27pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120619641#Comment_120619641

Could you have online meeting with them? You wouldnt have to leave work.

22-05-2023 3:49pm

Child comes before work.

Tell employer you will be a half hour late.

davetherave · 22-05-2023 3:57pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120619805#Comment_120619805

Nothing to do with a section 29 appeal, the child is not being refused a place in the school because it is oversubscribed but keep throwing out your buzzwords anyway.

Wanderer78 · 22-05-2023 3:58pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120627978#Comment_120627978

...we dont live on such a planet, some employers simply dont provide such flexibility, and/or sometimes its just not possible to....

....theres some seriously fcuked up judgmental cnuts on this thread to, this must be a very stressful experience for parents.....

Str8outtaWuhan · 22-05-2023 4:00pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120628010#Comment_120628010

Section 29 covers suspension and exclusion

iwillhtfu · 22-05-2023 4:11pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120619957#Comment_120619957

The school have arranged for the meeting first thing Monday, it's OP that can't make the meeting. As mentioned the child will be marked as absent until the parent can make the meeting, which may not necessarily be Tuesday either OP depending on their schedule. I'd imagine some of this relates to the same rules being applied to all cases and a lesson for the child that rules are to be adhered to. I would agree though seems very inflexible on the schools behalf.

Str8outtaWuhan · 22-05-2023 4:52pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120628063#Comment_120628063

Actually OP said 9:15am which , assuming is after school starts basically suiting the school. Most schools would have deputy/principal onsite before that . If the cod states they must have meeting before they come back from 3 day suspension then the meeting should occur before the start of the 4th day or after the 3rd day has ended.

22-05-2023 5:11pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120628012#Comment_120628012

Oh well.

Car got a flat / bus broke down / bike got a puncture / the train was delayed, .... it happens all the time. You can't plan for these things.

Child is starting exams on Wednesday. My priority this week, would be child.

If that meant telling employer a white lie, and possibly getting a slap on the wrist for being late, then so be it.

elefant · 23-05-2023 12:21pm

Trying to come up with ways to force the school's hand by appealing to random bits of legislation or codes of conduct is a bad idea, I'd highly recommend you disregard all the advice along those lines.

As much as this situation is a major hassle for you, and the school can hopefully find some kind of compromise to help you out, it would set a really poor example in a sensitive situation to seek to force the school's hand. This would likely be a worse outcome than keeping the child home from school for an extra day.

To add to suggestions along the lines of trying for an online meeting, perhaps you could also suggest meeting at the end of the school day on Friday, instead of the start of school Monday?

Good luck!

Suspended from school

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