29, single and living at home

lcstress2012 · 22-05-2023 12:01am #1

29 and still living at home. Longing to move out and get my own house, won’t rent as it’s just throwing money away. I’m single on 32k so not much out there to buy. Only have 10k in savings as I was stupid with money and had two cars on finance and payed the last one off then got a new one last year with a loan of €200 coming out each month which finished in august.

anyone else in the same boat and can over advice? Buying a house would be a lot easier if I had a girlfriend but at the minute I don’t. Not very good with women!

Frankie Machine · 22-05-2023 12:31am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058297380/29-single-and-living-at-home

The blanket notion that 'renting is dead money' is financial ignorance, and we've all heard it. Don't be sucked in by that thinking, and don't let your current inability to own property cloud your self-image. I'm not assuming it does, but just saying.

If things are ok at home, then you are in a better position than so many people. At 29, with no mortgage and no relationship, your ability to reinvent yourself and your earning power is better than it is ever going to be.

If things are not ok at home, then the 'dead money' is double nonsense, because your unwillingness to rent means you don't value your independence. I got out at 17.

I'm conscious of being a bit older than you, and having my own home, but my advice for what it's worth... you need to always be moving forward, even with no guaranteed outcomes. If you're not up for that, then do you really want what you say you want ?

Geuze · 22-05-2023 12:38am

Try to increase your earnings.

32k is okay for somebody that age, but not great.

It is well below median and mean earnings.

Geuze · 22-05-2023 12:39am

Cars can be expensive, so should not be a priority if trying to save a deposit.

I suggest trying to save 1,000 pm, especially if no rent is paid.

22-05-2023 1:13am

That 200 a month is a lot more than the 120 a month you've saved in the last seven years.

Good that you're now aware of this issue and my advice would be to move out and learn some independence and increase your job mobility and chances of finding a partner, or stay at home and save far more for a few years.

stargazer 68 · 22-05-2023 2:12am

OP you need to sit down and work out your income and outgoings. 2 cars paid off on finance and then got another one seems an unnecessary expense. You will be amazed once you detail everything and see where the unnecessary expense is

3DataModem · 22-05-2023 5:15am

"Longing to move out and get my own house, won’t rent as it’s just throwing money away."

I suggest a change in perspective. If you are longing to move out, then investing some of your income in serving that longing is not throwing money away. Interest rates are a lot higher than a couple of years ago too... so there's a bunch of people your age who took on mortgages 3 years ago instead of renting who are now paying 1.5x the mortgage. That extra money is just as thrown away as your rent, but they can't move as easily. Also, renting a place or two or three really gives you an idea of what is important to you in a long-term home, that investment of 20k or 30k over a couple of years could save you a lot of heartache in the long run.

suvigirl · 22-05-2023 5:19am

If you were longing to move out, you would rent, it's that simple.

22-05-2023 6:29am

Why does having a girlfriend make buying a house easier?

Jim2007 · 22-05-2023 6:43am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058297380/29-single-and-living-at-home

Pretty much most of the people across the EU of your age are in the same situation except that unlike people in the Anglo Sphere they have not been brainwashed by the developers into believing the necessity to get on the property ladder.

No matter how much crap you hear in the press or from so called wise people, investing in a property is the dumbest financial decision you can make. When you invest in a property you break every rule of prudent investing:

You borrow to invest
You investing in a high risk asset class
You investing in an illiquidity asset
You fail to diversify the risk
You accept a low return on a high risk investment

Little wonder that so many people got wiped out in 2007 then! People like to blame the government, the banks, the vulture funds, the developers etc for their misfortunes, but the reality is that if you make bad financial decisions you should not be surprised if they go pear shaped.

If you believe that renting is throwing money away, then you had better check your weekly spending as I’m sure you are throwing a lot of other money away already - beer, cigarettes, dining out, holidays etc. you could do without all of those as well. The reality is that renting is a service like any other and it’s up to you whether you want to spend your money on it or not. If you decide to rent you’ll get a place to live, independence from your parents etc…

A housing policy that depends on people taking on huge amounts of debt or makes them rely on social services to but a roof over their heads is never going to work, but there is going to have to be a lot more pain in Ireland before the Irish voter is going to get to the understanding that most of Europe has - not everyone can own a house!

The reality is that your financial situation will not support buying a house at this time and it would be unwise to attempt doing so. At best you would put yourself under financial pressure and at worst you could find yourself wiped out financial. So while you have not made the best of financial choices, you have at least not compounded it by making an even bigger one!

YellowLead · 22-05-2023 1:20pm

Hi OP.

I think, as has been said upthread, you need to think about priorities. When you don’t have a high income you can’t have your cake and eat it too. I have no idea how much you’ve spent on cars but if you didn’t just save up and buy a cheap ish one guessing you prioritised getting a car which was more than about getting from a to b. I would love a better car, but for me saving for a house is more important.

Lots of people are moving back in with parents to save to buy a house more easily and that’s perfectly fine. However, I think because you have always lived at home it’s time for a slice of independence and responsibility. 20s is a time when you can tolerate and even enjoy house shares.

You might meet somebody in a few years that you can buy a house with or you might not - either way at least move out for a few years, leave your saving untouched for the deposit and enjoy life a bit. You will be more attractive to potential partners if you haven’t just lived at home permanently. Rent might be dead money but the way interest rates have gone it’s no longer the case that mortgages are way cheaper to pay back monthly than renting is.

DirectorKrennic · 22-05-2023 1:39pm

Hi OP,

I am in the same boat and so are many people of a similar age. I'm 32 and living at home with parents - I absolutely love them, they love me and we honestly get on great. The sad reality is housing in this country - both to rent and buy - has become very unaffordable. It seems to be happening in many English speaking countries too. I've been saving really hard for almost 3 years now - I wonder if buying as a single person is something that is going to happen for most closer to 40 than 30 in the future. Lately I've begun to feel guilty living with my parents. I have a friend who rents a small house with his girlfriend in a lovely area in Dublin - they thing is, there are two of them and both on good salaries. I am on an average salary. I would just say, try not be too hard on yourself. Many people are experiencing the same thing. I know a few people my age and older in my home town experiencing the same thing. It's a tough situation. I've tried to take up some new hobbies to try get out of my head a bit more - definitely try take care of yourself and hopefully your parents understand it's a tough situation for everyone.

o1s1n · 22-05-2023 1:42pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120625881#Comment_120625881

Two salaries better than one...?

Murph85 · 22-05-2023 1:52pm

Cut out wasteful spending obviously. What area do you work in ? Would you consider emigrating? You need to earn more, the problem is, most people in this country are on poor pay and inflation is eroding their purchasing power. They think, i get my five percent pay increase in two months... its not even covering inflation. Youre going backwards... you lose half your salary over the pittance of 40k here... there are some of the core problems...

Murph85 · 22-05-2023 1:58pm

Some of my mates have put up garden rooms on their parents land, if you have the space and they are willing

Ideal if laneway access to rear or side access. This isn't legal, but hey, they are there years later and not living in kip houseshares and being fleeced for the privilege... you can save, you're not a worker drone, once you aren't financially captive, its a great liberator...

Murph85 · 22-05-2023 2:01pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058297380/29-single-and-living-at-home

Watch realestate4ransom on YouTube. Then start watching immanent ghandi etc on youtube. You need to ststgrttimg ptoper insight and mindset. You are still very young, but now is when you need to change things...

monkeybutter · 22-05-2023 2:18pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120625890#Comment_120625890

That is so brainless i don't know where to start

you arent investing in a house to live in it

renting is all fine and dandy when affordable, but shiite craice when it aint and the current housing crisis is as much financial ruin as 2007 was for some

and guess what even with 2007 happening, much worse in ireland than almost anywhere, they are still back in the black today, and have had 15 years not paying rent into someone elses pockets and thats a once in 40-50 year event

all those who bought in 1980s and are looking at a house worth what 6 times what it was even accounting for inflation would tend to disagree

renting is also grand when its just one, but become unaffordable when you are a family and you get trapped unable to buy

not too many stories of old women evicted from house she owns but plenty of ones for old people renting

o1s1n · 22-05-2023 2:31pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120625890#Comment_120625890

Surely you mean 'investing badly in property is the dumbest financial decision you can make.'...?

How can investing in putting a roof over your head in general be a 'dumb financial decision.'? What is the alternative? rent forever?

Some people who saw their house value tumble during the 2007 crash are still living in those houses and their value is potentially back up to pre crash levels. If you can make the repayments on it and plan to live there for a very long time it is not a 'dumb decision'.

Your house fulfils a lot more roles than just being a financial investment.

Mister Vain · 22-05-2023 6:01pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120627480#Comment_120627480

This is one option. I believe it is legal up to a certain size, I can't remember the exact measurements but there are one bedroom log cabins that fall within the limit of what you're allowed. I don't know if the OP's folks have the space though.

TheadoreT · 22-05-2023 6:12pm

Is leaving ireland an option for you? It doesn't really have a whole lot going for it, particularly for young single people in your pay bracket. A lot of people bury their head in the sand about this issue and get stuck in that trap well into 30's and older.

blackbox · 22-05-2023 6:12pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120628578#Comment_120628578

They might be legal as a garden room or a shed, but not as a dwelling.

YellowLead · 22-05-2023 6:32pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120628621#Comment_120628621

Too right if you are young with no kids and a lower income job I think it’s the best thing. Have an adventure. If you end up married with kids in a decade you may wish you had. But maybe part of the reason it doesn’t appeal to you OP is the same reason you haven’t moved out. Do you dislike change?

Furze99 · 22-05-2023 7:07pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120627621#Comment_120627621

"Your house fulfils a lot more roles than just being a financial investment."

+100% The idea that you just look at a house purchase solely as a financial investment is arguably what drives property speculation.

We rented for maybe 8 years, saw the monies going out and the complete lack of tenure. Bought as soon as practical and never had a worry since. Still live in the same place.

Maybe things are different in central Europe.

lcstress2012 · 22-05-2023 8:40pm

Already lived abroad in Australia. No point going there as will be renting won’t be buying. Cost of living in Australia/Canada is the same as or more than Ireland. No point running say from my financial problems.

.Donegal. · 22-05-2023 8:53pm

The average age to move out in Ireland is now 28 so at 29 you’re in a pretty common situation throughout the country. I believe this has increased year on year for quite some time. We’re higher than the EU average

Highlights. In 2021, in the EU, the average age of young people leaving their parental home was 26.5 years. In 2021, Sweden (19.0 years) recorded the lowest average age of young people leaving their parental home, and Portugal (33.6 years) the highest.

The Phantom Jipper · 22-05-2023 9:01pm

What are the property prices like in the areas you'd be looking to buy?

Getting a salary increase of some sort would be a great start. A bank would give you up to 4 times your salary as a loan, so asking for an increase, trying to get a promotion, or switching jobs for more money is the quickest way to bridge the gap.

Saving is a slow grind but a target of 1k a month might be attainable? Is a dig out from parents a possibility at all?

lcstress2012 · 22-05-2023 9:26pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120629241#Comment_120629241

Can’t get a salary increase. I’m on €17 an hour now and the cap pay in my current job is €23 an hour. Money goes up every year so it’ll be about 5 years until I reach the cap. I have no degree and this job is good money for the work I do (airport job with DAA) so won’t leave. Higher money would be managerial roles which I wouldn’t want.

id easily move outside of Dublin (Meath) and get a new build using the help to buy scheme and that other home scheme that the gov offers???

Murph85 · 22-05-2023 10:16pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120629142#Comment_120629142

The salaries in those countries are higher and income taxes way less on " high earners "

AmberGold · 22-05-2023 10:34pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120629346#Comment_120629346

You need a reality check. €17 per hour is crap @ 32. Get a new job, can’t get a new job, re-train. Get a taxi plate. Learn a trade, anything but don’t accept your career consists of 5 years working up to a max of €23 ph. You’re on here looking for advice so there you go.

gary550 · 22-05-2023 11:39pm

Bar you manage to save, rob or get gifted a substantial amount of money to put towards a house you aren't going to get far on your salary as a single buyer in Dublin.

If you look at the AIB calculator you're at around €140k-ish you can borrow.

If you want to buy a house I'd spent the next year or two trying to move employment to increase your salary to give you more options and couple that with a religious saving regime. If you're living at home €1k plus every month is not unrealistic.

2 years and you'll have a hell of a lot more options.

Renting has it's places but if you've a good home life now use it to your advantage.

Galaxy00 · 23-05-2023 12:20am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120629346#Comment_120629346

Im in a similar situation OP at 35. Currently going back to college and up skilling so in about 5 years I'll hopefully be at senior level in my career and be making 100k yearly salary and hopefully afford a house as a single person if im still single by then. I am sorry you're going through this, i completely relate. Options are you could buy a fixer up or an apartment outside of Dublin or Perhaps go to college and upskill? Best of luck

lcstress2012 · 23-05-2023 12:25am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120629721#Comment_120629721

I give my parents €500 per month so it’s impossible for me to save €1k a month.

Corben Dallas · 23-05-2023 1:54am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120627385#Comment_120627385

Buying a house with a Girlfriend/Boyfriend (unless married/long term partnership) is a super bad financial decision. Kinda like 'Winona Forever' Tattoos. 😪

TheadoreT · 23-05-2023 5:48am

There's a lot more countries out there than Aus/Canada. Broaden your horizons, learn a language, or upskill a lot if staying in ireland. Your issue here seems to be more motivational than anything from what I can see. You're putting up a lot of barriers instead of entertaining solutions.

I think there's a lack of scaremongering around this issue. The realities are pretty stark. There's a prevailing attitude from our parents generation that an honest days work or humble job is required. These low to mid range salaries are literally the worst thing you can do. Every day you go into that job is a day wasted. It would be smarter to be on the dole for a couple of years and dedicating all that time into upskilling.

But you need a defined plan instead of burying your head in the sand and hoping something will change.

Mister Vain · 23-05-2023 5:52am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120629593#Comment_120629593

If €17 per hour is considered crap then there really isn't much hope for a lot of people. If I was earning that while living at home I'd be saving a substantial amount.

CelticRambler · 23-05-2023 6:28am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120629346#Comment_120629346

Something's got to change. If you want to stay in the Dublin-Meath area, then you need to earn/save more money, which means changing the kind of work you do. The alternative is to look somewhere else, where property is cheaper, and figure out how to earn enough money to make ends meet there.

You say you already have 10k in savings, so it'd be perfectly feasible for you to buy a house in a village in southern Italy for 1€ and put the other 99999€ towards initial renovations. You can still get houses in France (needing work) for 5k if you look hard enough.

Sounds like it'd be a lot easier for you to learn French or Italian (so you could find low-paid work in one of those countries) than to increase your savings to the point of having enough for a deposit for somewhere in Dublin - but that's the choice you've got to make.

Murph85 · 23-05-2023 7:02am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120629593#Comment_120629593

This! Late to mid thirties and I went out and changed career. This is the trapped mindset im talking about. Tiny incremental increases every year. No holidays, worrying about bills. That's what happens on that kind of pay...

lcstress2012 · 23-05-2023 7:26am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120629881#Comment_120629881

What good is it moving to France/Italy? I have my good payed job here (for someone with no degree). The only thing I could study is music, only subject I had an interest in school but there’s no money in it though. I’m perfectly comfortable living in Ireland where my friends and family are and live my job. No point changing jobs and being unhappy just to have more money now is there?

I see sheep · 23-05-2023 7:35am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120629927#Comment_120629927

I reckon I'm on about €23 ph and I own a house and have plenty of holidays.

I had a higher paying job for a while but it was more stress, there's a price to pay for high paying jobs.

I see sheep · 23-05-2023 7:41am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120629970#Comment_120629970

If you're pretty comfortable I'd say that's good, doesn't sound you have a major 'issue'.

I only thought about buying a house when I got married, I had zero interest in buying a house when I was single.

I'd say enjoy life and don't worry about it.

500 a month to your parents is a lot. If they need it fair play but I lived at home on/off after college/between living abroad etc. and I never had to pay anything (apart from buying groceries a bit etc.) so I was lucky I guess.

CelticRambler · 23-05-2023 7:43am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120629970#Comment_120629970

Well, for me (I live in rural France) having a decent bit of land and the freedom to jump in my car/camper and drive the length and breath of the continent without ever having to book a ferry is one good reason! Also being able to live very comfortably on the back of about 16 weeks work a year. No, it's not about the money ... but it's not about working day-in-day-out for some ungrateful employer either. Each to his own.

Furze99 · 23-05-2023 8:06am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120629753#Comment_120629753

Maybe sit down with them and go through things, your wishes and options and what they're thinking. If you have a plan and they can see you saving steadily with a purpose, you could come to another arrangement. Most parents want what's best for their children and will help in whatever way, if they can at all.

I hear you about job in airport, if it's what you like doing and feel it's secure then take less notice of those criticising pay etc. Far too many people stuck in job for 'better pay' that they hate.

TagoMago · 23-05-2023 8:46am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120629753#Comment_120629753

Out on interest OP, I know you mentioned that renting is dead money, but if you're already paying your folks 500 a month, would it make a huge amount of difference to be paying 750 or so for a room in a house share somewhere on the northside of Dublin? Would probably increase your chances of getting a girlfriend too. You're ability to save might take a bit of a hit in the short term but would probably improve your situation in the long term.

23-05-2023 8:47am

You wont rent as you see it as dead money and you wont change jobs because you like it and dont want to progress to a higher salary because that would mean managerial work. Thats a alot of blockers to wanting something that none of these things will give you.

Firstly look into a part time course and up skill, get your degree or see what training the DAA offers.

Stop looking at rent as dead money, if you want your own independence and freedom, somewhere to bring a girlfriend home to, a space of your own, then renting isnt dead money. Its a means to an end.

Right now you sound stuck in a rut and you need to find that one action to focus on rather than shutting them all down.

thomas 123 · 23-05-2023 9:04am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120630245#Comment_120630245

No.

750 if he is lucky.

Don't forget bills

Electric
internet
tv
food
heating

Then there is mammys cooking - impossible to put a figure on that.

But if that 500 quid covers all or most of the above inc most day to day food then the OP is in a super position vs renting a room he would be essentially trapped in most of the time. House shares are fine when your in college or a very young professional.

OP - I think a career change may be the way forward for you. Id imagine your working nights potentially or at least some of them? Getting onto a day shift firstly would probably be a big help mentally. I know its not easy at all to consider uprooting your career - but maybe there is more to how your feeling then just the cash.

As for cars - 4 wheels and they go place to place - don't buy a new one again until what your driving literally can drive no more. Waste of money!

TagoMago · 23-05-2023 9:16am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120630309#Comment_120630309

So living in a house share is only for college students and young professionals, but living with your parents and having your mother cook your meals as you're approaching your 30s is super? 🤔

Kurooi · 23-05-2023 9:17am

at 32k you can't buy a whole lot right now. Focus on your work, save money and wait. Most of us , even coupled off and hard earners, plan their house purchase years ahead.

In hope that the market turns a little, and you have a larger deposit, and maybe your earnings will go up a bit too.

Alternatively, you could get your own room somewhere with some young people, have a grand time socializing and living the life. Getting a house might not be the best for your life satisfaction. You really get a new perspective that way, and if I was in your shoes and seen any upwards career potential I'd do just that.

thomas 123 · 23-05-2023 9:24am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120630374#Comment_120630374

Having experienced both and now building my own house for my own family ...

If your into partying at any level and that's what you want then sure go move out. Its absolutely financially irresponsible for anyone with the aspiration of owning their own place to move into a house share given the current economic climate(with the exception of doing it to advance their career or make significantly more money). Even if they wanted to do this for some bizarre reason, its going to be a lot more than 250 euro additional per month - therefore reducing their ability to save/study/go on dates etc.

The OP has experienced it already as they mentioned living in Australia.

TagoMago · 23-05-2023 10:07am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120630408#Comment_120630408

Moving back in with your parents can suit some people. If a person or couple have a very set savings plan in mind with an end goal in sight, then it can be ideal for increasing savings for a deposit. The OP sounds quite a bit off this though, and from knowing people who continued to live with their parents into their late 20s and 30s with no proper or realistic plan to get out of the situation, it can be very stunting.

There's more than partying to living away from home, its about personal development too. He's said he has been bad with money and can't get a girlfriend, if he moved out he'd definitely have to improve his budgeting skills, maybe give him more motivation to earn more, etc. Also his dating opportunities would definitely be better.

If it doesn't work out, house shares are fairly easy to get out of IIRC, and he can always move back in with his folks again.

thomas 123 · 23-05-2023 10:14am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120630572#Comment_120630572

The OP wants his own place though.

Suggesting a house share is financially a backwards step in realizing that goal. " Longing to move out and get my own house".

Did he mention he wants a girlfriend?

TagoMago · 23-05-2023 10:33am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120630592#Comment_120630592

The OP is single, on 32k with 10k in savings and, as far as I can tell, living on the north side of Dublin. Also can't/won't look for a better job. Who knows how many years it would take him to get enough together to buy his own place. At this point in his life, he'd be better off taking a plunge and seeing how it goes, try to get himself out of this rut, meet some new people, learn and develop, try to lose some of the self-imposed blockers regarding his career, etc. Worst case scenario, if he hates the house share and the rent/bills are too much for his earnings, he can move right back in with his parents after a couple of months.

He didn't specifically mention he wanted a gf but I assumed as much by the OP, even for the purpose of having an extra income for saving for a deposit.

29, single and living at home

Comments