Big changes for very anxious toddler - moving, school, etc. Help!

Hi, apologies in advance for the long read!! Just looking for a bit of advice or even a different perspective on this.

My Son has been in crèche full-time since he was 8 months old (he is now 3 and 4 months) but going in has often been a struggle. It's still a real battle sometimes getting him in the door, and although he is most certainly very strong willed which is a contributing factor, he is also incredibly anxious so this really exacerbates it, I feel. He experiences very big emotions and when these occur he just shuts down. It's like it just consumes him.

At the moment I'm in the process of buying an apartment for us and we will be moving into it next year - I'm a single parent and live with my parents which is all my Son has ever known (all both of us have ever known actually lol!). We'll be roughly 20 mins away from where we are now. I had plans to enroll him into a Naíonra next year and then he would start in the local Gaelscoil in September 2025 which would be less than a 10 min walk away from home. I wouldn't change anything with the crèche / montessori initially as I don't want too much change happening too soon.

The thing is, I worry that moving him to the naíonra will be really tough given how difficult it is already going into crèche some days - the main girl who minds him has said that she would be concerned about his ability to adapt to change. It would also mean enrolling him into a another, separate crèche as the naíonra doesn't offer any daycare facilities. That means he would be leaving the naíonra to go to another daycare/crèche until I finish work...so two new childcare environments and then in 2025 primary school would be a huge change for him again.

The alternative is to keep him in the crèche he's in now, which is also a montessori and offers good afterschool facilities. I could then send him to the primary school up the road from there which the crèche drops the kids to and from. He knows all of the girls in this crèche so even if he does have days that are a struggle, he is at least familiar with the environment.

The downside of doing this is that I'd be moving 20 mins away from where he would be in school so when I'm working from home he wouldn't be just up the road anymore. It would also be harder for him to make friends with kids locally where we will be living. He also wouldn't be able to learn through Irish because the local school here is taught through English - not a deal breaker in fairness.

His ability to adapt to change and anxiety is what's most important to me so I'm just trying to figure out what's the best thing to do here and make sure that the decision is the right one for him. I know kids are incredibly resilient but he isn't your typical, easy going and roll with whatever kind of child.

Has anyone else ever faced an issue like this before? It's so hard trying to get him into any sort of therapy services to explore things more, we all know how long the waiting lists are!

Thank you for reading! ❤️