online dating

It's how you're expressing yourself that's the problem. We don't know what you actually look like aside from what you say.

If you want to continue to troll in this way, that's fine, but it's not going to help you at all. If you'd like to talk to some decent people here who can offer advice and support and a good few laughs, you need to be open to it. Same goes for dating.

No-one is gaslighting you at all. Honestly.

The physical "flaws" you're mentioning can be far outweighed by an overall attraction that's based on a number of other things. The same goes for women. We are all judged on looks to a degree, but it's our persona as a whole that determines how we're perceived and develops that attraction further. The majority of people have a few physical attributes that aren't universally conventionally attractive, we're all different and unique and that's what makes attraction so interesting! In fact, I'm rarely attracted to men I'd consider conventionally attractive. Everyone has different tastes!

I made the comment about the beard and I'm sorry if it seemed flippant. You sound like you're really down on yourself, to be honest, and that's where all the frustration is coming from. It's a tough spot, I think most of us can relate to that feeling at one point or another in our lives and it's not great. But you have to find something you like about yourself. Find something that you think sets you apart and makes you "you" and hone in on that. Those little things are what stand out, especially in online dating, but in your own confidence even more so - which makes a massive difference in attractiveness.

Anyway, regardless, I hope things turn around for you.

Ahh, man you're your own worst enemy and you just can't see it. I shall leave it there, I tried!

A guy just messaged me who had clearly lied about his age, as his username had a different year & he specifically noted liking older women.

I replied out of interest, thanked him for messaging me but said that the lying about the age thing would put me off a bit & asked why he did it. And he instantly blocked me.😂 Like, does he think women aren't going to ask about it or what?

Is she on OD? Like would there ever be any danger of an overlap in the 10 yr older than her/ younger than you bracket? God, imagine.😂

I wonder how many people stay put in or get into not so good relationships just to avoid loneliness

I've been alone pretty much my whole life, no serious relationships. I enjoy being alone and am generally a happy person. There's the odd time where you feel a bit empty that you've nobody to share the little intimate things with but hay ho that's how it is.

The only really overt time it gets to me is when you're just going about you're day and you see two people just doing couple things like sitting on a bench drinking coffee and having a laugh or a couple walking their dog whilst in deep conversation - that's when I realise that of all the things I have and could have that's the one thing I've no real experience of or ready access to, and that sometimes is lonely.

That's the perspective from a busy person, I often wonder how much of a sad mess I'd be if I was normal and clocked off work and 5 and had 6 hours of being alone to fill 😂 or two days on a weekend where I'd nothing to do but ponder how alone I truly am.

I just had that same experience in a shop today. This couple just chatting away to each other about what to get for dinner and then both smiling at their baby in a stroller - man they looked so friggin happy ! I really want them to be anyways.

I am that 9-5 soldier - it’s not the time alone that’s the killer. I’ve loads of things to do to keep me occupied. It’s the times you want to turn around and tell someone something that you found funny or interesting. My dog looks at me lovingly when I talk to her. But I know she’s probably thinking what’s this half-wit whittering on about now.

I’m on season 2 of Killing Eve myself!

Thanks I prob could have googled it but thought I’d ask.

never did online dating. I always preferred to talk to people in person so forced myself to get out and about. Supposed never say never stats say they don’t have great success rates though do they? (I’m saying that without quoting a stat)

Savage comments. While I disagree with you...I disagree with you.

I know some people think I'm a troll on this thread, but I give a lot of fecks about a lit of you.

Looks on od, somewhat agree.

But! Take it easy and I agree with being yourself! Going to fake it? Let me kn9w the happy ending.

Really depends on how you look at it. All my datingships/significant relationships since my mid 20, so circa 10 years, have been from OD except for one. So I mean it works but also I’m single. 😂

Do none of you have friends or siblings you talk to like this? I’ve a few friends I would talk to about the ins and outs of my day or that I’d call if something happened, and they I. Two in particular. I mean not every single day, but I’d have thought it was common enough.

Thanks for the stats.

I suppose that says it all. Prob a good place for ads that’s all

i would have a few friends I’d talk with poisonivy but then I sometimes think no one needs to hear someone else’s issues so I don’t do it often.

thats numbers craic is that like the numicon or is it something else altogether

I don’t mean just about problems, I mean your day in general, nice things that happen that you want to tell someone about. For example this eve I’ve two WhatsApp notes to listen to from my sis and one of my friends about just random stuff I would imagine. Well one is going for a mortgage so that’s a bit of an ongoing discussion I’ve been hearing about, but I’m genuinely interested.

If people here don’t really have that when not in a relationship then I can absolutely understand why they wouldn’t be happy alone. That’s a whole new way of looking at it for me tbh.