online dating

Found my husband.

Is it not just a posh restaurant thing? How does it even work if you're paying by card?

I think the only time I didn’t offer to split the bill was when this guy chose a really expensive restaurant and the food was pricey enough but then the bottle of wine he selected was 180. I knew he would have insisted on paying anyway, but it was the only time I didn’t offer.

Something like that would make me extremely uncomfortable even though it shouldn't. It'd make me feel like they were looking for something in return.

I presume you've been outside of your hometown, and been in Dublin before, so if it was location-specific you'd have seen it if you were going to notice it. You just haven't. It's person-specific because it depends on the person and how they feel about tipping. People can travel, places can't move.😅

It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong by not tipping, it's a personal preference. But to say it doesn't exist country-wide is simply untrue.

I've been on both sides of this. There's usually a way of balancing it out if it turns into a relationship. For example one person might be able to cover more things financially whereas the other person contributes in other ways. My general rule would be if the person who earns more wants to do something the other person can't afford or wouldn't usually do, the higher earner should cover it. Same with like if a couple were moving in together, if the higher earner wanted a nicer place then they'd cover the difference required to get that.

Plus if you're someone who is already financially secure and independent to begin with, does it really matter what the other person's income is? Assuming they're not broke and leeching off you of course.

SO aside from tipping, anyone got any OD chats going or potential meet ups?

I really haven’t been bothering with it the past few months in terms of putting in any effort, going to swipe / message more this week and see if I come across anyone/can plan anything. Might get a plus one for the meet up 🤣

Are the women hot? Do they wear short shorts?

I haven't heard back from the Kilkenny woman after I suggested a date. I've since been chatting to a fine looking woman from Galway. These fecking long distances. I don't think I've ever matched with anyone in my own county. Interestingly enough, the Galway woman told me that all the best single men are in Kildare.

If you live in Kildare you should have access to the Dublin market. But I know long distance isn’t an issue for many.

Saw this and thought of you... 🤣

With regards to long distances, I suppose it wouldn't be a huge issue for a first date. So for example I could meet the Galway woman in Athlone. It's halfway, just over an hours drive. It would be difficult if you wanted to keep seeing them though. Like where do you go for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th date? It would be a lot of driving.

Ha! Funnily enough I've never actually dated a vegetarian or vegan. This is going to sound really bad, but I feel like any men I come across who are veggie also happen to be quite feminine which isn't my thing.

It would just have to move a bit faster in terms of knowing if you want it to turn into something, so that after a few dates you could progress to weekends in each other's places. I think that's why I don't see it as an issue though, because I'd know after like 3 dates if something was going somewhere and I'd want to know if the other person was on the same page. I can't really think of any situation where I've "dated" someone more than few weeks before it was a relationship or at least a "no hassle to stay over the weekend" situ. My last relationship we were seeing each other for 2 months before it was an "official" thing but I knew it was going that way.

I know lots of people date for months though and it could be that long before they know if they're into someone. I just don't think it suits my personality or how I work, cause if I'm not getting a touch of the feels fairly early then there won't be any feels. (emotional feels, not touchy feels, but those too🤣). So it's sort of like I'll be in a relationship, and when that ends I'll have a look online for a bit until I find someone I think I'll really be into, then I meet them, and then I usually end up in my next relationship. Maybe I'm a serial monogamist? But like I can't be because I love my own space too.

OH actually I did have a guy who fecking kept me hanging for YEARS in my 20s, we'd go back and forth in between other relationships and he was just an absolute headwreck, never knew what he wanted but kept promising it would work out when he sorted this out or that out. So I'd stick around for a bit, then it would blow up cause I'd inevitably get annoyed waiting, or we'd meet and it would blow up because it always just eventually did, and then we'd do the same thing a year later for a month or two. It was always on his terms and I had zero willpower. I'd say we were as bad as each other sometimes . I wasn't half as in control of managing my emotions as I am now, but he absolutely knew how to wind me up and instead of avoiding that he seemed to seek it out and do it on purpose just to perpetuate the cycle. I thought that would never end, but I copped on to myself eventually when he crossed a line and I saw what was happening. Oh the wisdom of age.

Essay over. Thanks for the therapy session. Might just stay single in hindsight.😂