online dating

Me? No black. All black. If I was wearing black and grey I would have said :)

Which one did you think I was in this photo?

Alas no :)

She was there today though alright 😊

You felt old because there were people who showed up dressed in pink?

What😂😂😂 I saw one lady in pink today and I think she was 40, not 20 or anything 😂

oh wait, you mean you saw the women in pink from last months photo?

@The Black Oil how did you get on?

I got cropped off the group photo !

When I got back from my hike earlier I decided to cancel the second date that was panned for today, the coffee date. Just wasn’t excited enough about it and it was a bit of a drive, I don’t think we were that compatible and thought it kinder to back out now than drag it on. He was lovely about it, said I was an amazing person and that he hoped I found somebody nice. So nice when somebody reacts well and not bitchy or bitter. He was a really nice guy and very attractive, but no sexual chemistry or mutual interests/future goals in common.

It was tricky enough from that perspective because there were so many people there. You heading to the august one?

I hope she goes too :) But there will be plenty of nice women anyway.

I'm not in the best mood lately, just a bit overwhelmed with life stuff. But things are going well with the guy, we chat every day and he set up a cute little video date the other night which was sweet. He's great. We've also talked about what will happen if we decide to try dating after we meet, and how that'll work between countries, whilst also not building expectations too much, so that was good. I'm not talking to anyone else because once I like someone I focus on that and see what happens. My only concern with my current state of mind is I'll do something to sabotage it before it even has a chance, but hopefully I'll swing out of this as I usually do and it'll be okay. I caught myself doing it last night where I pushed on something I knew he didn't agree with me on and it could have led to him saying he wasn't interested, but he didn't react that way thankfully. I need to not do that.

In other news, I got a text recently from a guy I dated very briefly years ago and was sort of friends with after/in between, haven't spoken to him in years. I wouldn't even call it dating, we went on like 3 dates I think, and very spread out. Neither of us was interested enough for it to turn into a relationship and both had a lot of sh1t going on too. I don't remember half of what happened there tbh, do recall thinking he was quite self-absorbed and that I wasn't bothered about being friends with him, but I didn't block him or anything, I think it just faded out. Anyway he sent me a sort of "letter" type text saying he was sorry for how he was at the time etc. and that he still thinks of me and all that. It was just annoying, to be honest, like I don't even know what he's referring to in terms of how he was, I can't remember him doing anything awful. I don't know what he expected me to say, unless he was just fishing for the ride, but he isn't really the type. Maybe he was just having a bad day. I told current dude about it and he said he's done that before after dating someone when he realised he'd been at fault and hadn't realised at the time, but I dunno what this dude thinks he did.

Yeah I guess part of my reasoning is because I feel it's a little unfair to the person I'm talking to the most - like I get that they could be talking to others but I just would have rathered keep it with her, until things either progressed far enough or collapsed and I thought I was prepared to deal with the consequences of that. But I don't think I was really ready for the consequences - this is really my first time dipping my toe into online dating specifically. I also felt it unfair to be dangling somebody along, knowing in my head they were 2nd or 3rd choice, but giving them just enough to keep them on the hook until I might need them again.

I'm back on just Bumble now (I feel like from very very limited experience it's the best one because if the girl reaches out there is some level of interest at least, rather than tinder which I feel is very validation heavy). Set it up again this morning, have a couple of matches already so just starting to chat to the 2 that have messaged me. Another two yet to message that are very attractive so hopefully they do. Think the plan is not to overswipe, I'll kind of do some swiping, get a few matches and deal with that bunch of matches before doing more swiping.

With the last girl, everything was extremely positive, she followed me over to Whatsapp, she accepted my date offer immediately, we chatted in the coffee shop for over 2 hours as we both lost track of time. I mean even on that date there was plenty of honesty so on reflection I don't think it was the honesty. She said she wanted to see me again, which I had originally planned to be after her hols, but my bud who would be way more OD experienced said 2 weeks between dates could be a death sentence on OD.

I was worried about killing the momentum of things, I asked her the day before date 2 if she would see me the following night. A 4-4.5 hour date with some hefty goodnight kisses at the end (the latter ones initiated by her), good conversation and what was at the time an extremely enthusiastic declaration that she wanted to see me again. Up to my text after that date, where I never got the response, I could only describe her actions towards me as extremely positive. We had gone days without communication before but when communication was struck up she was always pretty quick to respond. So I just was taken by surprised about what has happened since.

My buddy is still absolutely convinced that she will message. I'll say on here if she does anyway.

...

No I don't 😊, but it won't be long before I'm being santa

Are you not on the other apps?

Hinge is indeed dead. It seemed lively enough when I joined during lockdown but now it’s seems a ghost town. I don’t use POF.