What's the etiquette here??

When I was younger I worked in a bar part time and at the end of the night clean up the worst thing the manager could say to you was will ya check both jacks. Checking the men's wasn't too bad the usual glasses left in sinks, blocked toilets and what ever, but the women's was dire, usually there was an inch of water on the floor you'd be splashing water all over the place, used toilet paper on the floor, knickers on the floor and I would love to say this was a rare occurrence but wasn't, you'd find someone had had a dump on the floor. You would need to hosed down after you came out.

On another note had an awful start to the morning this morning, woke up the tummy rumbling so made it to the loo in time. These diet tablets are the devils creation, you are not safe at anytime, anyways made the toilet in time and all was grand, cleaned up and was going to head back to bed while the water heated up for a shower when I got the urge to let off some wind and thought I would be safe after just finishing so let rip and unfortunately it was a shart and I destroyed myself and the floor. I was just counting my blessing that this was in the toilet and not in bed or worse in the office. Utterly destroyed.

The queue at the ladies usually results on some desperate ladies barging into the men's to go. I remember one night was in the toilet using the urinal when 3 ladies barge in the door and into a cubicle some lad was in having a leak, while another lady decided to use a urinal and practically sat in it.

Very little discussion here on the cathartic effects of cabbage. Anyone feel qualified enough for a deep dive, so to speak?

Well sadly I have been away from this thread for far too long, but now I am compelled to reanimate so as to speak.

I am on my holidays way out west, can't blame "de wahter" for my troubles though as I'm sticking to Super Valoo's finest budget priced sparkling H2O beverage (and beer).

Been producing normal healthy amounts daily but there was a bit of a warning sign yesterday, I thought I was done after dropping a substantial load in the morning but was caught out in the afternoon, no big deal thought I. Things were getting a bit less than optimal with the hotel's cheapo bottomo rollo though.

But nothing could prepare me for the events of this morning, I was barely out of the scratcher when the contractions started. I soon passed something reminiscent of a world war two Mills Hand Grenade only somewhat rougher. This thing was easily a good two inches in diameter yet shot out with alacrity. It hurt. It bled. Why, arse, why?

But that wasn't the end, there was more. Early afternoon, we were planning to go for a drive. Just need to visit the tut first. Oh no. Yep, my colon wasn't done and tore open old wounds so to speak.

Then I spent 90 minutes driving on a seat with somewhat worn out upholstery over very winding and undulating roads. Walked around nondescript west of Ireland town for an hour (you'd think not sitting down would be good, but this was chafing city) and then 90 minutes back again.

I think this is the closest I've come to having a row with the other half due to my discharge pipe. Not a fun day.

Pro move there Slideways - glaring at other heads with your knuckles under your nose.

Was in Saturday evening mass a few years back and mate let out a ripper on the wooden bench. Blue rinse with the rosary beads spun around to glare but my mate was ready and turned in synchro to glare at the elderly gentleman behind us while tutting and muttering durty animal...

Women's side? was that a rural thing or a hangover from pre-vatican 2 days or what?

Unplanned feed of black pints last night. My rear end is like a black pudding factory churning out logs today and the gaseous emissions probably have deafened the cat.

Swings and roundabouts Slideways.

Treated myself to a cooked breakfast yesterday morning and as it was coming near the the end of the beans, Oliwia put the last 3 scoops from the tray on my plate. I nodded thanks and gave her my best fair play to ya smile.

Fast forward to this morning's log out and I was pleased to see the beans had given the midden a ferocious shine. Off it went sleek as a water rat to Ringsend.

Lashing out won’t help anyone, Doc. Some of us might have been “going at it” fairly heavily over the last few weekends and have fears of blowing out an O-ring.

I, myself, have been fairly liquid the last while. Solid deposits have been few and far between. A lot of friction heat developing with the wipes.

Will soldier on but I don’t see any real let up until after the World Cup. Not looking forward to the last of toilet bowls in France, though. Will have to up the number of “leg days” to make sure everything goes smoothly. Buckshot splash on the lower leg is a real worry.

Filthy bint, hope it wasn’t a solid she was releasing.

Was there a whack of Marmite off the discharged load?

Or maybe blown mutton?

Saw an Irish labourer taking a dump in a trough urinal mid 1990s. That was a pub in Shepherd's Bush.