Divorcing PPR and child maintenance

If your soon to be ex spouse will be the primary caretaker for the children on paper regardless of how many days per week you take them - she will get to live in the house until the youngest is 18 or 23 if in full-time education ie university. As a married couple in Ireland , the house became half hers when you married. Spousal/parental support will be set by the court.

You shouldn't have moved out. If you can bear it move back. If not - try to get a legal stipulation that she cannot move anyone in.

The major winners here are predictably the lawyers - it'll cost a fortune.

If possible, try to tune out the noise about affairs, blame or 'your house'. Sit down with a spreadsheet or pen and paper, and work out how you and your ex's combined incomes can pay for two homes, and all other expenses including school, medical, food, utilities, clothes, transport etc for all six of you. That is what will have to happen going forward. It is not realistic for you to live with your parents in the medium to long term. You will each require a home that is large enough to accommodate all the children overnight (albeit likely in shared bedrooms as there are 4 kids).

If there does not seem to be enough money to cover this, one or both of you need to increase your income. It may be prudent to move back in to the family home until this has all been worked out.

IF for much of the time you say you have been paying all of the mortgage yourself, your ex has been taking care of your children while you worked, that's not a particularly accurate way of assessing things.

It's not correct that she would have an automatic entitlement to stay in the house until the kids are grown. Get some good legal advice.

The reality is, unless there would be enough equity in the sale of the family home to clear the existing mortgage and give you both a chance at a fresh start, the likelihood of the courts ordering the sale of the family home is practically nil.

A Property Adjustment Order will be made as part of the divorce which will determine the split of the property. You could stop paying the mortgage, and the house will eventually be repossessed, but you won't be able to buy anywhere else in the interim, and if the mortgage loan is only in your name then remember that it will be your credit rating that is destroyed. You won't get financing anywhere.

You are entitled to live, stop paying everything/or just pay mortgage only, And find somewhere to live /rent , and then after that start thinking about how much you can afford.

you can’t pay what you don’t have , it’s that simple really.

Yes it is a nightmare , and worse if you have a partner who is going to make it like that.

i don’t think you can be classed as a first time buyer again if you have an interest in the family home already.

if you were bought out, you can be classed as a first time buyer again, after separation/Divorce.

number one thing now would be to get yourself a place to live.

if any access issues come up about the kids during the divorce I’m not sure how favourably it would be looked at to be bunking in a single room. ( or if that would even be a problem , I dunno)

but you gotta start looking after yourself, get a place , have your outgoings in place already, a judge isn’t going to order you to pay something you don’t have, and renting a place at a certain cost , so that you and your kids have somewhere to live is the best thing.

your soon to be EX also has a responsibility.

In Ireland divorce is not final either there is no such thing as a clean break in Irish law...if she falls on hard times she can come back looking for more...

Pal, she cheated, move take your house back. She can mind the kids during the day. She can stay with her new partner at nights.

How is she getting one parent payment? That makes zero sense if you are contributing. Is she defrauding the Social Welfare?

Deary me. You learn something every day. This is quite unbelievable. The legislation on that would make interesting reading.

The duty to maintain one another survives even after a marriage ends. There is no clean break principal in Irish Law in terms of your financial obligations to your spouse. It has been quoted in case law that “Irish law does not establish a right to a 'clean break'. However, it is a legitimate aspiration”.

So like a cold sore they can keep coming back for more...unless they marry again

Can a prenup scupper this?

What if you leave the jurisdiction outside the EU - which now could obviously mean just moving to the UK?

You would worry about your children marrying in such a backward system.

Op , don't put anything on social media, it's poison that the doesn't go away, the above is very bad advice.

Pre-nups are not recognised in Ireland.

FFS.

A prime example of the these forums should be shut on boards. You are getting one side of the story.

In my experience there are 3 sides to every story.

And if you don't pay your maintenance you can be jailed...yet no woman has being jailed for breaking father's access order to kids in Ireland...

Are you even a parent?