online dating

I used to fill out the ‘have kids don’t want more’ option - she’s actually a fully fledged adult of 27. But saying no kids didn’t feel honest either. A ‘grown up children’ option might be a good idea for the apps. Don’t think it would dramatically improve my chances though.

People can change but usually they dont. A guy who acts like that once is a guy who thought that was okay and therefore would do it again. If giving a second chance it should have been with the expectation he would probably do that again. You are far too trusting - so maybe online is not for you right now, you need to come back to it with a different attitude and don’t give people chances when there are red flags.

I don’t know if you’re just particularly unlucky in this regard, or if it’s worryingly indicative of a mass exodus from the island of eligible men ?

I think another way to look it is that you're giving them the opportunity to do so. I'd say it would help you loads to just stop giving guys like that so many chances. Also have a look at what kind of guys you're talking to. For example, how low or high is the bar for you to reply to a message? If a guy messaged you saying you looked hot, would you reply? If he just sent you a wink emojii, would you reply? If he sent something sexual, would you reply? If yes to any of those, you might as well hold up a sign asking for idiots IMO. If no, I'm not sure what's going on, maybe it's just guys who are really good at playing the game and you're too invested in wanting them to be different to see it (not a slight on you, it can happen to anyone but I feel you do get much better at seeing through it as you get older).

You do need a better radar for the fcck boys. Maybe try posting the messages you get here with some info before you reply (vague details) for a while and we can help you to vet them. There are lots of nice guys on the sites too, for sure, the problem is finding one that you're also attracted to but it can happen and often when you least expect it. I remember when I broke up with my ex I'd see lots of good looking guys online be thinking "man, there's just no attraction for me though" or vice versa. But I knew that someone would turn up to peak my interest eventually and it would just click and feel normal almost right away and that would be it. because in my experience that's what happens with me. So I do think experience has a lot to do with it.

I wonder am I just attracted to adventurous spirits. I do date a higher portion of non Irish than Irish. Last nights guy who is taking a career break isn’t Irish - he may not come back because he has no roots here. The guy I met on Tuesday that I’m meeting again tonight isn’t Irish either and he is about to buy a place in Europe where he will divide his time - I don’t mind that because he will be here some of the time and I don’t need somebody too clingy etc.

So you are on bumble and tinder now, might as well go for it and give it a proper chance…even just for amusement.

I’m sorry but if somebody doesn’t know how to talk to women then they are not for me. No respectable intelligent man thinks he will gain the admiration of an intelligent woman by saying they are hot or sexy at first intro. I say this from experience - when I started OD first, I was clueless but I soon learned the score and how to read people. In my mind that’s how really young people or older people who aren’t that bright would chat to each other. Every single time when some guy got sexual with the chat immediately he was only after one thing, without exception. So of course I’m going to learn from that. And I’m entitled to veto people however I want, the only person it affects is me. I’m sure I get ruled out during the dating phase for various reasons but whatever - everybody is entitled to their own preferences.

 ‘It seems to be when I meet them or after a few dates they lose interest.’

Are your photos true to life? I’ve chatted to so many guys who say that half the time women show up looking nothing like their photos. Just something to consider.

"You look pretty" is not the same as "you look hot". So many of the guys are just out for hook ups and starting off with stuff like "you're so hot" etc. is a good indicator they don't want anything serious. This isn't me making **** up, it's 15 years of doing OD on/off talking.

Girls not being arsed to reply to a normal message is likely that they read your message and weren't interested. No-one owes you a reply. Nothing to get bitter about, just move on to the next.

You learn a LOT from texts. I keep telling you this as I have been for a long time on this thread, and have proved my point, yet you continue to claim otherwise. Maybe, the problem is that you personally can't seem to do so. It would probably help you to work on that instead, the communication aspect and learning how to read people and engage in genuine and open conversations that actually make the person want to talk to you. As for swiping for years, no, I've been on and off for years in between relationships which I've had from OD. I'm now in one you were slating from day one because of the distance aspect, and that's going great, much as it may pain you.

You also say nothing about your own current dating experiences, which I've also said before and you've ignored. But you're very quick to dole out the advice to everyone else. Why is that?

He just wants the attention and to keep you on the hook.