Owed 3K by somebody who refuses to engage

I actually quite badly need the money tbh, big health expenditures now that my health has gone way south over last year. The person I loaned it to drank it all.

“Shaming” is the approach I’ve had to turn to, unfortunately, something I’d never envisioned I’d ever have to do in life. Of course it doesn’t go down well but occasionally results in small amounts being repaid. The individual isn’t presently in a good position to repay, I understand that, but has been in the past and yet completely avoided payments whilst undertaking some discretionary spends. At one stage asked for it all back 🤷‍♀️ Hence I had to change tactic from almost passivity in 2021 to making suggestions as to updated regular repayment plans. I have been more that reasonable up to a more recent point, have suggested increasingly smaller amounts (€10 per month) where I did receive 2 repayments bigger than that. Then it stopped and upon asking for a further €10 was told there was zero income, not even one if welfare payment coming in 🤔 which puzzles me enormously, but I do take it money is very tight. It’s hard to be patient considering there were times the debt could have been discharged or almost so.

Was taken in 2021 as a stopgap for something allegedly specific at the time, but I think a lot used elsewhere. Arrangement was casual but I had drawn up my rules and set up the spreadsheet etc. wouldn’t do this ever again, needless to say. Any (smaller) loans I gave to friends/relatives were cash-flow stopgap and repaid within a few days.

Indeed not, it’s entirely an inter-personal matter. Down to tactics & trying to ensure that there is no wool being pulled over one’s eyes, ie significant discretionary spends ahead of repayment. I’m interested in hearing how others may have tackled this. I do believe there is the intention to repay, but I’m inclined to believe there are some slightly complex factors, beyond what meets the eye, inhibiting that.

I’m presently trying to get as many financial things in place now as I can, eg trying to apply for doctor medical card, anything that will make things a little bit better. I’m finding I have to take taxis in place of buses, and can only drive short distances on good days with the MS.

Aul Shakespeare was never wrong. Fortunately the small mending’s I had otherwise made were just as they said on the tin, pending transfers etc. and repaid with speed. I never expected any haste with this one. But there was the initial parameter it was to be repaid before year’s end, given that there was potentially very good earning power. I think I was a bit too sift and max in my initial approach, considering I’m now viewed as the devil incarnate and that any further attempt to request repayment is viewed as “harassment”.

Incidentally a few months ago upon request I was asked “why do you need money?” when he 100% had been updated about my scenario.

He has always played a “victim role”, not just with me, I believe. At the outset I was told of 100 woes and fell for it, hook, line and sinker, because my default is to believe and to remedy. According to a friend in his business realm (who responded to my hinting post in LinkedIn), I believe they’re another person who was taken in.

that professional colleague is amazing, he offered to stir around to repay me as the scenario so badly reflected on a profession where trust is hinged, but I, of course, would not hear of such a thing.

I’ve been blanking this out of my mind for a while, other more pressing issues re major health issues. Still those health issues have cost me a lot of money. I am of two minds about all of this. He’s not, let’s say, beyond bending the truth to suit an instance, but overall he is very prone to over-complicating things for himself, let alone anyone else. Creates 2 problems where 2 might originally exist. Also I think there might be an element of mild bipolar or something where focus is lost or diverted, there’s also episodes of depression.

Actually rather like myself, except I have a hell of a better oversight I or handle on my own situation.

One irony is that in response to hearing I had diagnosed MS he said he had just been to neurologist diagnosed with brain atrophy of the cerebellum… related to B1 (thiamine) deficiency from alcoholism. I sent a high dose pack, as I know full well the sheer amount of brain damage this causes. Tablets likely down the toilet, no acknowledgement of course. Denial larger than a former top earner of a Montrose salary.

There is a house being sold; I absolutely do NOT take joy in anyone’s bereavement or sake if family home, I think it is saddest of times from a human level. However I’m wary that a desperate person will go beyond reasonableness in ordinary disbursements, distribution of inheritance. I made sure to write to sibling to ensure fairness to them in view of severe addiction of sibling who is in debt.

I do get furiously annoyed but my one constant is that I have NO wish to see this guy in any firm of homelessness, in fact repeatedly urge him to secure a purchase of a roof just ahead of repaying me when it comes to it. I do NOT want to see this homeless, as so easily could happen. Family home is large and valuable, estate to be shared with one sibling AFAIK, other sibling has ordinary variable common sense as people do.

I have said and keep stating but a fecking roof somewhere there’s transport within walking distance, make it a start point and then immediately fecking repay me, and fecking don’t hide under the sand as he keeps on doing between no-sand pop-ups. In an immense irony he gives out about the very eejitry he caries in with. It’s hard wired here, obviously.