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Cat bonding more with cat sitter than with owner?

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  • 02-11-2023 12:13am
    #1
    acequion
    Registered Users Posts: 3,873 ✭✭✭


    I'd be interested in people's views on this one as it's a strange one.

    I have a 12 year old cat that I love very much. She's a common little moggy, a regular little cat. Sweet and affectionate in her own way, but very much an independent little kitty and not a lap cat. That said, she is a very pampered little creature.

    I have a friend, who loves to cat sit any time I'm away [about twice yearly for 7-10 days]. It suits, as this friend lives with her folks so she jumps at the chance at having my house all to herself and loves the cat too.

    No problem with any of that. But recently, she has taken to proving to me how much she bonds with my pet. I'm away at the moment and she is constantly sending me photos of the two of them cuddling together. What bugs me is that, as already stated, my cat isn't normally a cuddling cat. Or she's not with me, her devoted owner.

    Any ideas why she's all cuddly, and by all accounts, clingy with this friend who cat sits her? A year ago she got sick [a vomiting bug] while being minded by the same person and the vet said it was separation anxiety with me being away.

    Any thoughts from any animal behaviour experts? I'm happy that my little cat is being well looked after while I'm away, but uneasy at all these photos being sent by my friend of them "bonding". Several in every day.



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    #2
    Buddy Bubs
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭Buddy Bubs


    She's showing you the cat is being looked after. Nothing more. I get photos all the time from dog minders. And child minders. Nothing untoward or anything to make you uneasy going on here



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    #3
    Oscar_Madison
    Registered Users Posts: 5,747 ✭✭✭Oscar_Madison


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121313754#Comment_121313754

    Absolutely - the photos are all about look your cat is doing fine go off and enjoy yourself.

    And in relation to why she’s clingy with your friend, you’ve answered your own question- separation anxiety. It’s even been diagnosed by your vet- your cat takes you for granted- by any chance are you always at home or mostly at home and with a routine?

    If you are at home a lot, try and go out a bit more for longer periods and leave your cat on their own- it will take time for them to adjust but may ease the anxiety or go away for a night and come back the next day - once the cat gets reassurance that you’re destined to return the anxiety might reduce



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    #4
    acequion
    Registered Users Posts: 3,873 ✭✭✭acequion


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121313795#Comment_121313795

    Thanks for that. I didn't think cats were prone to separation anxiety but it seems that they are.

    I go away a fair bit and am out at work every day so the cat is used to my comings and goings. But there is a fairly structured routine and this little creature is very attached to her routines and doesn't like change. I used to put her in a cattery but she hated that so this arrangement with my friend coming to cat sit seems to suit much better. But I think my friend is getting over attached and making a big deal about the "bonding". And I'm probably reading too much into it, or if I'm honest, feeling a bit put out by it as, like I say, the cat is not clingy around me.



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    #5
    Mollyb60
    Registered Users Posts: 6,597 ✭✭✭Mollyb60


    My cat loves my mother-in-law. Any time we're away, she comes to look after him and gives him 100% attention and treats and cuddles. So of course he's gonna love her! Same goes for your cat, it's just like having a toddler - they love when nanny comes to visit cos her pockets are full of sweets. You're the boring one, taking her to the vet, cleaning up after the hairballs, keeping the litter clean. It doesn't mean she loves you any less. Don't stress about it. Cats love routine, and you are the pinnacle of that when you're there. She just shows it to you in a different way. YOU are her human. Not your friend.


    As for your friend, I'm sure she's just trying to show you that your cat is being loved and well cared for. Nothing malicious. You're overthinking it. Probably because you feel bad for leaving the cat in the first place.



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    #6
    Ash.J.Williams
    Registered Users Posts: 20,994 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058320670/cat-bonding-more-with-cat-sitter-than-with-owner

    Well you called her common for a start



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    #7
    HazeDoll
    Registered Users Posts: 504 ✭✭✭HazeDoll


    Minding people's pets is a minefield. I do it all the time and I spend a lot of the time second-guessing myself. I send photos and little videos of them, thinking "Aren't they cute/funny/happy/silly/whatever?" and then lie awake wondering if it looks like I'm saying "I hope you're enjoying your holiday, meanwhile here I am, stuck at home, cleaning up after your stupid dog/cat."

    Your friend is telling you that everything is going well. You need to let her know you're grateful that she's as invested in your cat's happiness as you are.



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    #8
    acequion
    Registered Users Posts: 3,873 ✭✭✭acequion


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121313934#Comment_121313934

    Awww thanks for that lovely reply.😍



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