Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

I've been seeing an online therapist, and it has helped me. I've done in person therapy, and I've done online therapy. And both have been very beneficial.

The problem I've run into with irl appointments is I find it difficult to get to the appointments on time (I don't drive), and asking someone else for a lift to my therapist can be haphazard, especially now the way the weather is being so much of a jerk.

So online therapy has helped me a lot. It's over zoom, so I do see the person. I can check their credentials too. I know there have been issues about places like Betterhelp, which has been covered even in Irish news outlets, Notably that you are more than likely not speaking to a licensed counsellor or therapist. (I know one of the Irish newspapers covered this, but its probably behind a paywall).

Honestly, you have to do what's right for you- if you feel in-person therapy will be more helpful, go for that. If you feel online therapy is better, go for that.

I've started going to support meetings and doing a DBT course and addiction day programme that is slowly starting to help. In one of the groups I made a connection with a lovely guy. I looked forward to seeing him. Found out the other day he killed himself. The news has really floored me.

So after isolating for years I'm out and about every day in the real world mixing with people. It's very challenging. That's where I'm at.

As Grem said, @apache , I am so sorry about your friend. I compare Mental Health to an ongoing War. Some times we lose the battles, and sometimes we lose soldiers along the way.

It's very difficult. I hope you have a support network at the moment.

Been away for a bit. My brain was just frazzled.

M mother was in hospital. When I said relative, weeks ago, it was my brain not being able to comprehend stuff. It was my mum.

She was in for a little more than a week, and they found she was ran down and had pneumonia. She's had pneumonia before, many many years ago, when I was a teenager, and this wasn't as bad as then. (So even she was surprised.) She was prescribed medication but the doctors and nurses said that if she'd had an inhaler (which she's been prescribed) she'd have probably never gone into hospital. Last time she had pneumonia, she was given an inhaler.

Well, they prescribed a number of medications. She came out of hospital not acting herself, but that was probably because of the multiple medications she was on.

Going in to see her, and coming home, all that was in my head was 'she's dying'. My research while she was in hospital, it just went 'She's dying. She's DEAD!' And I broke down crying in the car, because in the week she was in hospital, I couldn't go in to see her. (My brother picked up a virus, either a cold, mild flu or his allergies, and they won't let you into the hospital if you're under the weather. Being close contact, I couldn't risk it.) We phoned her, but she didn't remember a lot of my calls (the medications again). In that time, I was left to my own devices, which is to say that nobody cared if I got out of bed or not. And in that time I was researching what she might possibly have.

The doctors have suspicions of what it might be. As to what might have caused it, I mean. They've even prescribed oxygen to help her out. Since then, her appetite has improved enormously. Some of the meds she's been prescribed are really strong, and she does feel groggy or ill after taking them. She's been home for two weeks now, and she's improved a lot. But pneumonia can take months to clear up. (It did when she had ityears ago too).

But I've had this sense of unease. Had a counselling session booked for Tuesday, but my counselor had to cancel due to unforeseen circumstances. Have a therapy session booked for next week. Genuinely needed that session though. Been frazzled for weeks.

Thank you Grem.

It took a toll. It genuinely did. My stomach decided to be a nightmare. And there were some days where I got little to no sleep. Or ate very little. I just listened to what the doctors said, when she was released from hospital.

My brother and her both get irritated (to say the least) at me because there are times when I just... I'm not reliable because I'm dealing with my own frazzled brain. If I wake up late, they're angry. I sometimes have to explain myself, but its still not quite enough.

It's reminding me a lot of when my dad was ill. He was terminal, and that was about 16 years ago. So there was this constant 'clock's ticking down' in the back of my brain the whole time. We knew he had 12 months. With my mum, it's me catastrophizing. When she was in hospital, she was only there a little over a week. And she checked herself in on Doctor's advice.

There's a few other things that are making me anxious, but I have to sort of 'breathe' to cope with them, atm. Doesn't help I got a birthday coming up too. (I don't like birthdays. HAven't since I was 12 years old).

One thing is to tell that inner critic to STFU.

I only recently realised I had huge problems with this. Kinda assumed it was "normal".

Thanks for that. I did edit my comment to avoid the Irish/Catholic trope. Yep, it's much more widespread than that.

I am not in the same situation as you, but I have a lot of problems that cause me stress, severe anxiety and depression. I found talk therapy to help a bit. I'm not on any medication.

The following won't fix underlying issues but they all give my mind a break ...and this helps me see the wood from the trees...

I'm just making a list here ... Some of this stuff is hard for me to do and apply, especially when I'm severely depressed. But they all work for me ...

Exercise, walking the dog, in nature. Not competitive, or ego centered exercise. Just walking.

Getting rid of physical belonging that are stressing me out. Clear out all the crap. Stop being manipulated by advertising. Keep a small set of high quality belongings.

I'm going to do a digital declutter before the new year. That stuff is just killing me. It's like all made up virtual WORK. I'm including low quality media like rubbish TV and low quality video games etc under here. And endless scrolling on my bloody phone.. Also, the news cycle. The news is toxic.

Avoid social media. I'm on boards, that's it. And I'm trying to avoid all the contentious channels on here. Every time I get a link to Facebook I feel like dying inside.

Doing necessary physical stuff. E.g. clean the house, garden, fix things. Note: I find it hard to do these things, but the relief/joy afterwards is uplifting and ongoing.

Avoid people who judge me, make me feel small, or have more problems to give me. I feel this a lot, especially at Christmas time. So, I've learned to keep my mouth shut, be nice, and move on and away.

I've a friend I can tell everything to. Not the same as therapy, but great to get all the stuff out.

If there is something stressing me, take a simple action to deal with the stress. Make the phone call ... Another very hard thing for me to do, but the benefit goes on. Not doing anything is a terrible continuous burden on my mind.

It's important to try and get the thoughts out of your head. Be it journalling, scrap papers, even an audio recording diary.

Just anything to get stuff out of your head, and onto something where you can look at it in the third person. As a viewer, you can sort of be your own therapist.

Counselling has helped. It can help enormously. But research the therapist you're planning to attend. I've had a mixed bag with therapists and counsellors. I've been more lucky with private therapists. But you still get the odd one who's not right for your needs.

I'm just wishing you the best of luck.

Awful panic attack last night well this morning 4am throat closed up a little and starting chocking on my food in bed ,I got up and went outside for 10 minutes and that kinda helped me ,I've been having these on and off for years since I was 15 and I'm 26 now 🙃

It might be a physical thing or partly physical. E.g. Too much chocolate = acid reflux = wake up in a panic choking on that.

I was attacked and scooter got robbed off me Start of November that could be it also having a alcoholic abuser dad didn't help either, I thought I sorted all this out with years of counselling but obviously not 😞 I just wish I didn't suffer with depression and anxiety 😔

The robbery probably brought up some stuff. Crud like that, can trigger something. Bring up stuff we might have buried rather than dealt with. But at least you're trying to deal with stuff from your past. I know someone who had an alcoholic, abusive father. She became the image of him, herself. Down to the addictions and violence. Didn't deal with her issues, and used alcohol to self medicate, mostly because her doctor wouldn't provide her with medication for anything more than a week, because she'd tried to overdose. So she'd drink, and become violent and abusive. She'd pretty much blackout and not remember anything.

The fact you're attempting to deal with things makes you a better person than many.

We all wish we didn't have mental health problems, but it's moreso if society treated mental health as an actual health problem, rather than an 'inconvenience'. Might very well change people's perceptions of it. And create better services around the country.

Some foods can upset our minds more than others. Especially Cheese. Unhealthy eating has affected my mindset in the past. It's important to try and eat healthy stuff.

I never eat in bed. Never got the habit. Might keep a bottle of water nearby, if I need it.

Just saw this post. Yes Pats definitely have (or had) a ketamine trial, I met someone who was on it. They also do ECT. I would think it is definitely worth your while considering an inpatient stay if you have health insurance. If you decide to get a GP referral make sure he/she puts down that your depression is treatment resistant and preferably outline in as much detail as possible medications that have been tried and haven't worked, and relevant timescales.

In general I would recommend St Pats, they are not perfect but I have a fair amount of time for them.

Best wishes.

Sorry, don't know about the ketamine. I haven't heard of anywhere else providing it, even on trial basis.

Strange that a GP wouldn't be able to refer you to other private psychiatrists - that's really the GPs job.

There is always the option of online therapy. (Just avoid betterhelp. There's been exposes on them and how unreliable they are. No guarantee you're even getting a qualified professional therapist/ counsellor/psychiatrist).

I had to do online due to difficulties getting to a therapist in person.