What's the etiquette here??

Just dropped a nice solid ‘horseshoe joint’ of ripe midden in the upstairs.Strong hum of cheap beer off the lad.

Reckon that’s me ‘clen out’ for the week.

Jayzus.

Left a yoke the size of an airport shuttle bus in stall #1.

Wasn't the only one logging out early - place smells like an illegal fishing trawler.

Happy Friday.

Good call Hot, some haven't even got that, just a phonebox size shïtter that's nearly always occupied.

Of course there is a reason. Spanish bars weren't designed for a group of twenty pot bellied bunch of soaks ganneting down pints of San Miguel or Tropical like there was no tomorrow.Going well into the second gallon like!

Was down in Alicante some years back and saw a lad in a Mayo jersey put his boot through a shitter door to discover another dude {Irish} comatose on the pot.Without hesitation whipped out the knob and just fired on top of him and back out to join his group like nothing happened.

The Spanish owner paid no heed, these lushes drank more in a night than the locals would do in a year, a door can be replaced.

I think, eh, with the growing internationalisation of the taxi driving sector, that sort of thing is going to become a thing of the past. Or is it?

same in Italy but if your on the beach in front of a beachside bar take note...every now and again youll see lads and lassies leaving the bar and do a running dive into the sea,swim out until theyre about waist/chest high and if you keep observing youll notice that "look of relief" expression and theyll then do a fairly rapid swim back,sit in the sun for a few minutes to dry off and hit the bar again...top tip is never swim in front of a beach bar and always observe which way the tide and local current is running...

They never tell you stuff like this in the "useful tips" section at the back of the holiday brochure, do they?

I dunno though, the local sewerage system might just consist of an outfall pretty much in the same place... at least in Greece there should be no arse tickets in it

Haha can you imagine what the "honest guide for tourists to Dublin City Centre" would be like?

(I'm a Dub before anyone asks)

All I wanted to do last night was crawl into bed and pass out. My body instead went “F**k you! I’m gonna make you pass a thick viscous fudgenugget which will take at least 50 wipes before you achieve a barely acceptable level of anal cleanliness”. I still have ring sting this morning from all the wiping.

The soft toothbrush is your man there. Just make sure it’s not yours and bobs yer uncle.

Filthy foringe kernts. Have they no sense of daycency atall atall.

So a case of multiply sh1ts,,,

Came home after work,plan was to murder the dinner and then hit the local before 5pm.Had the dinner,could feel a brown trout brewing but it was a no-show in the house jacks.F this I thought ,straight to the local,seat at the bar and chatting to the lads while Kempton and Dundalk was on the telly.After 2 pints the Sherriffs badge was twitching,so off to the bog to deposit 2 firm brown trout.HaNdy clean up and back to the bar to continue the drinking.About 90 mins later and the old rivet is feeling the pressure again,so into the jacks again and out I deposit 2" corn on the cob " sized sh1ts,another easy clean up on the Sheriffs badge.Have 2 more beers to bring the total up to 7 pints and head off home.Bang on the kettle for tea and Christ Jasus the brown rivet is under pressure again!! So up the stairs to old faithfull to log out,a watery mess is deposited into the bowl,the clean- up takes a load of paper,flush the jacks and go mussi islam on the old hoop,plenty of hand wash & warm water,scrubbed the rivet clean.All's good for about 90 mins,then lo and behold the bowels are twitching again,back to the household thrown and out come's a run of brown scutter,the ring-piece is now stinging like billy-e-oh and I've not even introduced the 3 ply to the ring.So I hover over the seat and as gently as I can wipe down the angry badge,then finish off the cleaning with more hand wash and hot water.Cant figure out where all this sh1te is coming from or why the rivet is now stinging after poo number 4,maybe I have the Covid?? One thing is for sure,after 4 cr4p's in 5 hours Im now empty inside!!

No excitement really here.

Only thing worth mentioning was down at the club there was a bit of an incident at the AGM.

Apparently there was a contentious issue defeated in a heated debate and the members later found a serious log bunted into the piss trough.

Twas the size of a sod of turf one lad reported. One member under suspicion hasn’t been seen on the course since..

Otherwise all quiet.

Was not in attendance buddy, Blowing out gobbets of ripe peppery midden at regular intervals me.

Unlike yersel squeezing out horseshoes of Chorizo coloured foul smelling batons like a Parish Priest after a spell in Rome.

’Haway an fuhherke yersel ya gormless cretin.