Referendum on Gender Equality (THREADBANS IN OP)

There's no such thing as "anti marriage side" -

Firstly, the concept will be extended to family units that haven't been recognized and removing references to women in the home as the caregiver. That includes single parents, grandparents raising a child etc. On top of that, everyone who has a baby together is not necessarily suited towards getting married. Reverting back to raising a family in an unhappy marriage isn't good for anyone.

It's beyond ridiculous to suggest everyone who proposes recognition of many different forms of family are the "anti marriage side"

Why would you not get married unless you were opposed to marriage, i.e. anti marriage? What other reason would there be for not getting married?

If you have reasons/examples, I'm all ears.

But why not? Give me a reason, any reason. Right now the only valid reason I can see is lack of commitment to the relationship and family unit, which is kinda the whole point.

Are you perhaps confusing marriage with a religious ceremony?

What negative impact would a civil marriage have on your life? Why have you no interest in it? You say you are "absolutely committed" to your relationship, yet won't take the step to have it recognised by the state and enter into a potentially lifelong legally binding contract?

Really, when you get down to it, all a civil marriage is, is proving that commitment.

Again, I'm perfectly ready to hear a valid reason why someone wouldnt enter into such a contract, but right now all I can come up with is lack of commitment, if you have a valid reason, or have heard them from others, please share.

Because the state benefits from you making a commitment to your family! Just look at the stats for broken homes in the US amongst the African American populace. Look at the result of easily broken "commitments".

Btw just saying "because I don't want to" is not a very adult response to a question. Its the same response I often get from my 3 year old.

Can you give any reason why you don't want to? Can you list a single negative thing about a marriage, (other than they are somewhat difficult to get out of, which of course is irrelevant to your situation)?

What would change in your life for the worse if you got married in the eyes of the state? On the positive side you wouldnt have to worry about any of the situations regarding unmarried couples given on this thread.

So I have asked a few times for a single reason and you can't give me one. All a marriage does is make your commitment a legally binding contract. For me, (and based on your lack of examples to the contrary) the only reason not to get married is that you do not want to enter into a legally binding contract with ones partner. Which is a pretty damning statement regarding commitment.

The stats on broken homes show what can happen when there is a lack of commitment and when its too easy to get out of such commitments. Its very easy walk away from any relationship in Ireland, right up to the point you get married. Again, thats the whole point.

I don't understand how not wanting to be in a legally binding contract with someone is a damning statement of commitment? Seems a bit dramatic.

I've some very committed friendships but am not going to run out and legally bind myself to any of them.

Because life isn't always straightforward.

Out of my group of friends there is only one couple who got married young (early 20s) that are still together.

I know plenty more couples in second relationships where one or both were married before and now divorced, and don't want to marry again, or where one or both are still married to other people but legally separated. Some have kids together.

I raised my child as a single parent, and I chose not to marry (or cohabitate) because I own property that I want my daughter to inherit with no complications from other parties.

(Disclaimer - not anti-marriage).

Right, but isn't that kinda proving the point? People who are against marriage are against it because they feel it will be harder to walk away from when life gets complicated? i.e. when they no longer want to be part of that previously committed relationship.

The state (or society for that matter) doesn't want it to be easy to walk away when life gets complicated, because life gets complicated and hard all the time. Now there are many scenarios where walking away (while taking care of your responsibilities if they are involved) is the only sensible option. But there are far more scenarios where sticking with it, despite it being hard, is the correct thing to do. Life isn't meant to be easy all the time.

Your examples of people who got married when they were young and are now divorced isn't a problem with marriage, being married isnt what caused those relationships to break-up.

All this gets back to the point that offering the same rights to "durable relationships" does in fact dilute the value of marriage, because marriage is a much, much stronger commitment, hence why the only argument against getting married is effectively "but its too much of a commitment"

Who are these people you keep claiming are "against marriage"?

You are fully entitled to measure how you express your level of commitment to your wife and family based on your own marriage.

But its damned presumptuous of you to measure what level of commitment someone else feels towards their family, based on your measures.

People can have many reasons for getting married, and I personally am not anti-marriage. They can also have many reasons for deciding not to marry.

I feel strongly that all families should have the same recognition and protection under law, no matter how they are formed, and irrespective of marital status.

Being married will not make couples stay together if they are unhappy. Maybe a few decades ago, couples in unhappy marriages stayed together "for the sake of the kids" but people have learned that life is too short for that. That doesn't mean they lack commitment.

Anyone who says they are in a committed relationship but "doesnt want" to get married is against marriage by definition.

Yet no one can give a reason why they would be in a committed relationship but not get married.

You say there are "many", give me one, please!

I never said that being married will make couples stay together if they are unhappy, what I said was that it will make them more likely to work on it rather than just give up.

I don't understand how you can say that refusing to enter into a legal commitment is less commitment than entering into one. Its a highly illogical statement to make in my mind. If you are committed, then what difference would being married make? All marriage means is that you can't just walk away when you want to. But surely if you are committed thats a non issue...right?

I know. Its twisting the whole thing around to say if you support a broader definition of family than family based on marriage that you are "anti marriage"