online dating

The "be whole" thing you referenced has always been more of a coping strategy than an actual life choice. In my experience.

I've embraced it because it works for me. Most of the time. You wouldn't be human if you didn't give in to the scaries now and then. Do I actually want to be happy alone? Feck no. I want someone to share it all with.

We should probably normalise saying this rather than pretending we're "at one with ourselves and enjoying single life" when the reality is we're lacking something we want - but we'll still be grand like. The benefits of singledom may not always outweigh the negatives. But they're still there to be enjoyed when they happen. (Double bed all to myself is priceless)

There is absolutely no reason why you wouldn't meet someone who will give you the support your looking for, but I hear you saying the thought of weeding that person out from all rhe noise is exhausting.

You just have to weed out the bad and non compatible but it takes time. Once you get good at it, it saves you a lot of time.

Wouldn't write her off, I know women who would do the "I'll set you up thing" when they're interested themselves but just don't think they've a chance.

I totally get that, what I was confused about was that she was saying men wanted women to be leaders, I still am confused on that score but I’m okay with that 😁

Date with R didn't feel any spark, sadly.

N meanwhile, I messaged around midday (not something that required an immediate response) and didn't get a response for the whole day. No biggie, our text pattern is on and off anyway, both of us might send a text and then a response goes the other way a few hours later.

But she messaged then a little while ago to say she didn't get a notification I messaged as she must have been on her phone when I messaged. That's surely a blatant lie, right?

It's actually quite annoyed me and I'm tempted to call it there. Unless ye think it's plausible? To be clear, it's not the delayed response that's annoyed me, it's the lie. And even if you didn't get a notification, if you were interested in someone wouldn't you check your phone in 10 hours to see if they messaged? Am I being really impulsive here? Obviously she doesn't owe me anything at this early stage.

I guess she felt bad about leaving it so long and panicked?

Again I really don't care if she didn't reply till tomorrow but it's just the oddity of what she said.

Even if you didn't get a notification, surely you checked whatsapp at some point during the day. It's just like almost insulting to my intelligence to say that and expect me to believe it.

Like I can't think of a single legitimate way what she said could be the truth. We don't have something fully concrete arranged for Thurs yet. I'm not sure now.

I've had this before, and wondered a few times what was going on, until I figured it out - if you have an app open, and you receive a message in that app, no notification is generated.

So let's say you've WhatsApp open, and you're reading or typing a message to me, and YL seems you a WhatsApp message, there will be no notification message or sound to alert you to the message from YL Within the app, you will see that you have an unread message, but there won't be any notification.

That's my experience with WhatsApp and Gmail, (maybe Outlook too - I can't remember offhand) on Android.

Have to agree with this. Android user here too. App notifications are flaky little mofos.

But that said. If I'm chatting with a fella there's a good chance I'm checking my phone every now and then.

Just carry on as you have been and see how it pans out. It'll fall apart very quickly if she's not interested or has someone else in her sights.

It might not make a noise but wouldn’t there still be a red mark on the outside of the chat to indicate message received? So surely you’d see every time you opened whattsap. But maybe not if maybe she’s somebody who doesn’t use her phone much..

Comms before Date 1 were very irregular too on both ends. But we did meet and get on (for nearly 3 hours). Usually at the end of a date I'll say I'll message you later (which I did this time, after our kiss). So I don't typically hear from the girl until I message to say yay or nay on seeing each other again. But she messaged me within half an hour to tell me what a great time she had, and then we chatted a small bit more that night, she'd love to see me again etc.

Now I guess in my head I was under the impression that the date would change the pattern a bit, but when I asked her out for Sunday (yesterday) she said she couldn't but suggested Thursday as an alternative. No big deal, I only asked Friday night, was possible she was busy. Just not ideal for momentum.

Honestly, I was fine with everything up until what I thought was an obvious lie. Which it turns out might not have been one, or might have. But the alternative is she wasn't that pushed about checking to see if I actually had messaged for nearly the whole day, which before we met was fine but after isn't ideal, and which does let me know where I stand with her ultimately.

It was my longest ever first date anyway. I never let them go on that long even if I'm really into the person.

Nah, he's just a bit laid back about his phone and messaging.

I bet this one will be at the arse spanking event. :)

Is face sitting a hobby now???