What's the etiquette here??

Had a few can's of Lidl's finest last night and felt the sherriff's badge twitch around 11pm.Headed to the lav and flung out a few stool's,sounded like a load of mackeral thrown back into the sea.Wipe up was'nt to bad,firm with a slight fudge consistency.Flushed the jacks and nothing left in the bowl,except a load of skid marks in the bottom of the bowl,reminded me of a map of the British rail network in the 1920's!!

Try Bepanthen instead of Sudocreme. The relief is instant. I found it a life saver after I had the worst ring ever following a weekend of strong Belgian beer in Brussels.

Debated about posting this but anyways...I'm blessed to be a fine healthy lad with a hefty enough member. I dunno is it age or what but recently while sitting to lay an egg at home, I've often had a touch of a half 'lazy one' on. Problem is it's deffo kissing the underside of the rim where none of us can see and further down than I would like in the pot.. Where in the etiquette stakes does this sit?

The helmet has frequently had blue loo on it..

Can pots with a wider diameter be bought?

I notice in the disabled toilets in work, they are a taller unit so dipping for oil isn't and issue there.

The, dreaded, witch’s kiss.

Lynx, you can't beat that for a touch of class.

Seems to be fractured also (ah, no, wait, it's just a shadow)

I thought we had an unspoken convention here, no pics otherwise things could go downhill rather rapidly and the whole thing might be locked - don't give them any fuckin' excuse, it's hardly a [sheriff's] badge of honour that the most active thread on Boards is about shiteing.

Also this thread is about quality creative and descriptive writing.

I’ve been pretty good lately , but I got rumblings in my belly so went for a sit down . Looking at the loo , you would have thought someone took a bucket of run oil and emptied it down the bog .

Can't explain the produce of the last week either, a dreadful pasty consistency which was never completely either out nor in, if you get me. Consomme-style diarrhoea would have almost been preferable.

Finally obtained relief earlier today, a proper clear out followed by a good blast of the shower hose set to Japanese mode, a.k.a. hidden nugget destroyer. I'm a new man.

left two ripe full arśe cheeks of rotten feeshus in a Diner on the way up for the Rugby..

Good job I got rid of the load as if the Goys were camped on the Italian line for a while could have packed the panties

Come on de Oirlandt.

Sounds like the lad, Parsnip....

had a major incident in the job this morning...around 10-ish was just thinking of going for the breakfast when i got a code red on the radio to the executive floor,rushed up,found one of the cleaners slumped against the wall outside the executive crappers,gasping for breath,hardly able to speak,go look,go look was all she could say,i thought...ah crap,one of them has croaked,the fookin paper work is going to take days on this...anywho,rushed in in full life-saver mode only to be met with the worst stench ever!even worse then the fart spray i used downstairs awhile back! first thought was...fcuk,the body has been here all weekend!...pushed open all the stall doors...what i found can only be described as modern art sprayed on the walls and shitter in black/brown/yellow liquid shite...the poor cleaner is still in shock and im no great myself...had to call in a bio hazard team and them lads arent cheap!! and the surprising part is only about 15 people have access to that floor...suspicion is pointing towards one exec in particular,big rugby fan...

much appreciated...seems the bio hazard guys found a set of jocks in there...the facilities team is keeping them for evidence,doesnt ber thinking about!! never thought an arse could spray that much shite!!! fcuk!!! i need a drop of brandy i think...

no...no cctv on that floor(executive privelege) plus they all keep a spare suit or two in a small meeting room,shower room on that floor too,im sure there was splash back/collateral damage,had to have been...maybe the jocks will tell the tale,out of my hands now thank jayzus! facilities crowd are looking into it now,rather them then me!!!

Wouldn’t be much use to me at the minute Bob

For the sake of some minors reading this fine educational thread I shall depict my 18 spoke using a piece of fruit. Maybe if I ate more in the last few days I wouldn’t be in such a predicamento