So many middle aged Irishmen have let themselves go

Great. Less competition.

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Id say there happy not to be whinging about other men on the internet.

While I admit I am saddened many people young and old are sedentary, over weight and unhealthy - in a world of alleged crises in obesity, diabetes, focus, depression and anxiety - I think I long ago grew out of being bothered by clothes or hair styles people choose. Neither are my business unless I am asked my opinion or advice.

You talk about "going down a very bad road for myself physically and psychologically". Might I suggest that if you are bothered by the Jeans on a person you do not even know - you are already on such a road?

I used to be terribly bothered by morbidly obese people choosing extremely tight Lycra. It was me with the problem not them. I got over it. And myself. And I grew up a little. :p And I discovered this wonderful function of my neck in it's ability to simply point my eyes in another direction thus allowing me to get on with my life.

In fact, unless the injuries you mentioned were particularly serious, I assure you that your neck very likely shares this function too! Perhaps give it a go. Slowly at first. Suddenly whipping your neck around if it's not already used to this function, can cause injury. Ease into it. Maybe move the jeans you do not like slowly into the periphery of your vision and work from there so that with only a few days practice you can entirely remove the offense from sight entirely with minimum thought or effort or injury. :)

In irish society if men started looking after themselves, wearing good cloths etc, then the reactions would be,

Oh he loves himself, he is getting notions, he is a narcissist

They don't have this in other cultures, look at the Latinos and how much they pay attention to their appearance but nobody makes disparaging comments about them.

Also there is a bit of hypocrisy because nobody chides women for spending lots on clothes, wearing makeup or dyeing their hair , but if a straight man was to do it, my god the comments that he would get

I changed my wardrobe to avoid the earlier disapprobation heaped on us for wearing clothes with logos. Now I will have to ditch the new stuff I got, because it does not meet the standards applicable to the Middle Aged. And I will have to get my head shaved. It's a minefield out there.

I'm 47.

Wears a fleece daily- check.

Wears possibly terrible fitting Tesco jeans - check.

Have a fine big bald patch but I do shave my head.

Many generalisations from the OP but:

smoking is in decline (I never have)

going to the pub is in decline

gym membership and general fitness activities has never been so high

At some point, I matured and stopped being concerned at what other people thought. It's great.

OP is damned right, men expect ladies to be in top top form while they fumble under their guy looking for their belt buckle

Where did you get that nugget from?

i hate dressing up,i hate shaving,,im not overweight,but like my food,ill do and ware what i deem as comfortable,we will be dead a long time,and i dont give a toss what others think of me

45, full head of (greying) hair... decent shape, eat very well 6 days a week. Play ball 3 evenings a week, rocking a fresh pair of Nike Air Jordan 1's with my great arse and logoed hoody as I type.

Up yours OP... 🤪

It's kind of true but the reason I'm still in great shape and look younger than I am at 42, apart from just being born good looking, is probably because I'm no kids and have time to be running and going to yoga classes and the gym all the time. My brother just went to sh*t and put on weight etc. when he had a child as he just had no time for himself but I'd like to think I'd still be able to keep it together somewhat if/when I'm in the same situation. Me moth's the same, not a pick on her and very fit but we eat well and exercise a lot. Still probably drink too much though.

Is the OP talking about Irish mens physical shape or their dress sense.

If the former, yeah I agree lads should watch the calorie intake more and get more exercise.

If the latter, it just points up the OP as a Dandy.

Back in the day potatoes, cabbages, turnips and carrots were just as good. And there was good meat, fish and poultry. Home made bread was great. Milk and eggs tasted the same. All very tasty stuff.

If people want to avoid getting overweight, they have to match their calorie intake to what they use up. That is perfectly possible for people with sedentary occupations. And if they want to exercise away from their work, that will allow them to take in more calories.

"Adults. The daily calorie requirement is greatest for adults 19 to 30 years of age. Sedentary females this age should consume 2,000 calories daily, while males need about 2,400. From 31 to 50 years of age, sedentary females need 1,800 calories daily and males need 2,200."

A very very naive view. I'm 46, and whilst I would love to spend a few nights in the gym and spend my money on new clothes, there are a few obstacles that you have failed to take into consideration...

1. I am 24 years in my chosen field and as a result, I'm now in senior management. This requires me to work a fair bit more. No more rolling into work at 8:55 am and dropping the tools at 5 pm.
2. I have 2 kids. They are in school and they need help with homework and so forth. I also need to be there as a parent to help raise them.
3. Both my kids train in GAA (hurling and football), swimming, and soccer, plus my daughter does Irish dancing. They must be dropped and collected from training. I train my daughter's team and go to both my kid's matches.
4. They also play music so they go to lessons and the local Comhaltas.
5. The house needs to be cleaned and maintained, meals cooked, lunches made, dishes done, clothes cleaned etc etc.

Basically, my week is as follows: I leave for work at 7:30 and get home around 6:15 Monday to Friday, sometimes later. With the kids training, Monday night is gone, as are Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Saturday is full of matches and they are learning to swim on Sundays. I usually get to finally sit down around 9 / 9:30 pm most nights and then in bed for 10:30 pm and up at 6:30 am.

My wife and I split as much as possible and this leaves me some nights where I can go out into my garage and do a bit of training, or go to BJJ training. Likewise, she tries to do a bit of training when she can. You have to grab the time when you can though.

Regarding having the money for the latest fashion.... as a result of the family, we have a mortgage. We also have 2 cars that cost money to run (car insurance, motor tax, fuel, and maintenance x 2). Then you have the associated costs of being a parent such as food, electricity, broadband, life insurance, mortgage protection, home insurance, health insurance, Sky subscriptions, etc. Add to that clothing my kids, medical expenses, school costs, training costs, and so forth. Don't forget the pension, or saving for their third-level education... or holidays, Christmas, birthdays (including presents for their friend's birthdays), and other out-of-the-blue expenses.

I don't have the time nor the inclination to be bothered about fashion. I have a multitude of other expenses to worry about. I have some nice clothes, but the reality is that I wear smart casual to work Monday to Friday, and when it comes to downtime, I just want to wear shorts and a t-shirt... and CROCS - yes, I have a pair and I don't care how hideous they are. I don't care about going out because it's too much hassle. I don't care about drinking for the same reason.

I'm somewhat thin on top but I'm not shaving it because I look like an utter thug - it just doesn't suit me... and many others would say the same.

The other key thing you missed about men in their 40s is that in many cases, their testosterone has dropped and they no longer have the energy, and keeping muscle is significantly more difficult - this happens as you age. Yes, you can get TRT but there are associated risks and long-term side effects. Many suffer from legacy injuries and are probably halfway to arthritis in their knees... especially if they played GAA, Hurling, Rugby, or Soccer in their younger days.

I try my best to look after myself and train when I can. I eat healthy home-cooked food, don't smoke, and rarely drink (I haven't had a drop since Christmas).

It's not that we're stuck in the 90s, there are just more pressing and important things that take priority.

A bit overweight? Yeah, could do with losing a few more pounds, lost a few stone over the past two years, another two I'd be in peak condition, but already fell the benefits of what I've lost already.

Dress sense? Not much of one, can scrub up well, but like comfortable clothes. No point in spending €200 on a pair of jeans when a comfortable tracksuit in Dunnes for €15 does the same job.

Exercise? A couple of times a week. Nothing much, keeping active. Tend to do more in the summer when I can bring the kids places for walks after work.

Eat crap? At least once a week have something full on like pizza and chips. Started making them at home more often than take-away, cheaper and tastier.

In the evenings I like to watch matches on TV or throw on a computer game if herself is watching something on the big TV.

By the OP's definition I've left myself go.

Truth be told, I have a good job where I work with some great people (I do maintain a professional appearance in work). I have a happy marriage, a few kids to keep me on my toes, and grand dog, I have my hobbies (mostly sport based), and we do things as a family regularly like go to beach ever few weeks, walks in the wood, the cinema.

It's not letting yourself go if you're enjoying life and not worrying about vanities.

In my experience that is only partly right. I remember some wonderfully tasty food growing up. But we did not over eat it either because of the type of foods it was. It was full whole food and satiating. Our lack of over eating was not at all because the food was not that great. Quite the opposite. We would sometimes want to over eat it because it tasted so good. We simply couldn't.

I remember particularly loving my mothers take on the traditional Irish Bacon, Cabbage and Potato. Whatever she did I have never had one as good since in my life. I wish I knew her secret. I remember many times mournfully looking at what was left on my plate wishing I could eat more of it but simply being unable to take another bite. But I never over ate that meal because I simply couldn't do so.

What has happened to many people in modern times is that the foods we eat do not always kick off satiation signals so we are able to eat a lot more of it. Not just able to but sometimes we simply can not stop ourselves from doing it. Pringles sold the slogan "Once you pop you just can't stop" as if it was a good thing about their product.

These days I keep my own weight down by eating quite a lot. Which sounds counter intuitive. But it works for my physiology personally. I do it by sticking to as much variety in my food as I possibly can and I go with a "Protein Leading" approach which kicks off my feeling of satiation sooner. I am not quite on the Carnivore diet but I skew strongly in that direction all the same.

So I can end up eating a hell of a lot more than the people around me in terms of physical quantity but without the effects of weight or similar. Or the traditional "afternoon crash" of energy or motivation or concentration. And I have helped a friend lose significant weight by not changing what he ate, or how much of it he ate - I simply changed when in the day he ate it and in what order. And the rest took care of itself.

So yea in some ways our food-obesity relationship is quite simple. In other ways its quite complex. And quite often what people think is an explanation ends up not being wrong but being a small part of a bigger picture. Even the traditional "Calories in Calories out" thinking has complexities and caveats that are worth exploring if you are on a weight loss path.

And exercise does not actually burn as many calories as people think. The reasons why exercise is good for weight loss is a lot deeper and more complex than it merely making you burn more calories. Which of course it does directly. But the reasons why it is good for weight loss go further than merely the calories it is burning as you do it.

Sometimes people don't change their diet intake as their metabolism changes and it piles up. When once I jogged I now just walk.

I think apart of the problem could be these men are busy looking after there families, trying to put a roof over their heads, etc. Instead of staring at middle aged men & commenting how they look/are wearing.

Most fellas I know would buy anyy clothes for their kids/wives so they would sacrifice their own wardrobe.

If "letting ones self go" is the opposite to what you see those born in the late 90's and early 2000's are doing now by getting Botox jabs, fake tans, turkey teeth, bankrupting themselves to buy designer clothes, constantly working out in the gym and possibly shooting up with performance enhancers and fat loss drugs as well as taking viagra then I'll take "letting myself go" any day of the week!!

What is a snack box?

In terms of clothes and grooming, covid lockdowns and working from home probably haven't helped. People got used to slobbing out at home.

"Young lads" are quite the opposite though, getting haircuts every 2 week, big into the gym and good eating, drinking seems to be less popular. Probably more steroid and cocaine use though.

It used to be the case that a young lad could distinguish himself (and get girls) by being in great shape, now, it's become more of a baseline and an expectation. Will they keep up their efforts as they age and settle down etc. who knows.

A lot of middle aged men have a fat face, probably a combination of genes and poor diet, if you combine a fat face with balding then a man can be unrecognisable compare to how they were when they were 18. I don't have this problem, have a chiselled face and most of my hair and get instantly recognised by people I haven't seen in 30 years. Due to life circumstances I have let myself go to an extent compared to how I used to be, used to lift weights twice per day, now I rarely do. Used to have a 47 inch chest and a 28 inch waist, now I'm at 46 inch chest and 32.5 inch waist, I think my arse is 38 inches so hopefully that is big enough to meet OP's approval,. .

Fat phobia and body shaming alive and well. It may blow people's minds to know this but thin people die of heart attacks, strokes and cancers every day of the year. Being fat does not mean you are automatically sick. It's a particularly insidious form of healthism to lecture fat people on the "dangers" of not adhering to the outdated and very flawed BMI system. Unfortunately people are still conditioned to associate weight with health and acceptance.