School bullying

I think you should deal with this matter as the school did not do a good job dealing with it.

I'd be livid myself and yes I suspect if it happened to one of the girls it would have been handled differently. Which is unacceptable.

I agree with you that they didn't want the hassle coming into the Easter holidays, which now means it's hanging over your head, which is also not fair.

However what would be your ideal outcome? I do agree they should have informed you, but what punishment would you like the other child to receive? It is a tough one, cos on one hand you could say it's a silly prank but on the other hand it is verging into sexual assault territory and humiliating for your son.

I know if it was me , I'd be bulling for the whole Easter break which is absolutely futile and a waste of time and energy.

I think maybe see what replies you get here, give it 24 hrs sit down and write what you want to say to the school , what outcomes you want, what safeguards and assurances you want for this not to happen again. Then park it and enjoy the Easter break. Arrange a meeting with the school when it reopens.

I think stuff like that doesn't just happen as a once off. Ask your son what the general atmosphere is like every day.

I heard of a bullying case recently, the child and parents didn't realise actually how toxic the whole school atmosphere was until he was placed in a new school.

I'm not suggesting that he be taken out but I would try and make 'soft enquiries' from other parents about other student's experiences. Other students might be experiencing bullying but not say anything to parents as 'its normal for boys to have a bit of rough play'. This might be a good opportunity to engage parents and get them to ask their children how things are in general (maybe without bringing up the incident). Not your job to be doing this to random parents you mightn't really know, but it might be one pro-active route you could take.

Then when you do meet the principal you might have other incidents to report, a principal will take it more seriously if there's more than one parent engaged in the issue!

Sometimes students think that a toxic environment and daily bullying is "normal" if that's all they see every day.

Or maybe it was just a once off.

I'm not so sure the class teacher would be the best avenue, I'd go for the year head first.

Was it yard time? Maybe the school need to crack down a bit on the supervision.

Teachers should be 'eyes on the crowd' as much as possible. Maybe it's lax and teachers allow lord of the flies during lunch.

I hesitate from demanding specific retribution like "I want that child suspended". That's definitely not going to happen. It takes a lot to suspend a primary school child, that would stay in the local news machine for years... Decades.

Look when you talk to the school you are only concerned for your child. This is obviously your first dealing with bullies , there are protocols to follow and tbh I wouldn't have gone to the guards so soon after the incident

Yeah but the guard acted on the details you have him.

If you just wanted advice you could have refused to give name of school etc. just say you want to get ducks in a row etc.

I think the principal has a vested interest in this child, probably mates with parents or similar.

The situation has escalated fairly quickly now. On the plus side I'd say you've ruined the principals break as much as he's ruined yours.

If you know names of kids that were victims/almost victims it would probably be an idea to discuss with their parents....you'll get further with a few parents saying it's unacceptable and want action.

However there would also be a part of me being mindful of what secondary school they are all going to....your son may have to deal with these boys for next 6 years.

Never ever approach the parents or the child .

They're not going to suspend a primary school kid in 6th class (especially not because another parent requests it).

That suspension reputation will follow them into secondary, plus it's very difficult to suspend a kid these days.

some school principles are not great sorting these situations at all is my experience , in nearest school small boy kicking both boys and girls between the legs . this chap did this to my friends little 10 year old girl who became very withdrawn and when he found out through a 3rd party this problem was rectified in less than 90 seconds after he marched in through the front door of this school and had a one way chat with this young man in his classroom . Another friend whose young lad was being bullied by another kid in the other school down the road ended up getting his son private defence lessons and when he defended himself in the school against this bully he and not the bully was suspended for a week. friend transferred him to new school and he is doing well in his new school. PS this bullies school teacher is my brother in law,

If it went up on social media, it probably technically qualifies as distributing underage porn so that would take things to a whole more serious level as regards how the powers that be are forced to deal with it

principal here is weak and to not carry out any sanction against the aggressor is absolutely shocking.

I'm absolutely fuming reading this post.

I'll have to think about what advice I'd give you,when I calm down a bit.

And for the other poster who said its a regular school prank ,that day is gone and these children are 12 years of age and should know better.

Look, if it's generally a good school and a one off forget about it

If it repeats then get serious

It's no wonder bullying in any form isn't properly dealt with in schools when the responses here include the principals Easter holiday will be upset, the boy who did it is normally a 'good kid ' so why take it any further, maybe it's highjinks before holidays, possibly dated by someone else etc etc.

What a load of shite.

This behaviour is appalling and should be dealt with. The principal and teacher would be allowed to let this slide judging by the sorry responses here.

I wouldn't go near the kid. His parents or even other parents.

Your child Op is your responsibility. His safety is your responsibility. The principal had a duty to ensure the pupils are safe and unmolested. Let them man up and do the job they're paid to do.

I hope it gets sorted.

For too long principals and teachers hide away when this type of thing happens.

What would they actually do if their kid was the victim🥴

If that was an adult it would be assault.

As someone who got bullied incessantly at school, I take no shite from teachers if my kids are reporting bullying. Straight down to the principal and lodge a formal complaint, ask to see their bullying policy bring a copy with you. id expect no less than a public apology from the wrong doer in front of the class that he humiliated your son in front of, and a suspension from school to give his mum and dad a bit of time to think about what their son did.

id fully engage with a solicitor if the school is dismissive because at 12 years old, the bully is old enough to know better and appalling behaviour should not go un-checked.

my best thoughts and wishes to your son, its awful to be so publicly humiliated in such a way, he must feel very embarrassed and vulnerable. Please reassure him and stay close to him as he navigates it all. i know you will, i feel angry and upset for him.

The problem is the system lets teachers do **** all beyond endless talks and notes in journals etc and a certain cohort of kids and their parents who dont give a shite know it

This type of shite proliferates when everyone has a right to an education but there are **** all consequences for the ones that dont live up to their responsibilities

You heard how difficult it was to suspend a kid earlier, that wasnt always the case but it has been for a long time...a kid can get away with persistent misbehaviour now and its usually multiple talks and parents being callled in etc and the kid not improving their behaviour or finding different ways to cause hassle to everyone for sometimes their entire time in education....they just remain pricks their entire teenage years....discipline is difficult/nigh on impossible without consequences (and Im not talking about corporal punishment btw)

Actual consequences dont happen to nip stuff like this in the bud like they used to....and everyone is afraid of their shadow tied up in knots when it comes to the crunch because who wants the hassle of legal challenges etc etc

Sometimes the problem is a suspension wouldnt even work, they want it, its a badge of honour and they have a nice time at home....its a consequence of a certain cohort of parents viewing a school as a babysitting service too

There are no swift eye opening interventions for sometimes horrendously spoiled/entitled/thugghish behaviour now....its endless ineffective (in a lot of cases) beating around the bush for that cohort...its all carrots and talking and no stick.

A bit like our legal system...perhaps its no surprise schools have to mirror society to some degree.

If this happened to my child, I'd be sending an older brother or cousin to give the little scrote a bit of a hands on.

The op has said this is going on a while between a group of them. Should every child in the group not get a talking to, not just the one who did it this time, how do we know thst the ops kids didnt do similar to another child?

And If my grandmother had wheels she'd be a bicycle. Going by previous posts It happened during school time when kids were left unsupervised. Also the principal said that the kids were mature enough to be left unsupervised.

Calling it horseplay doesn't make it any less hurtful.

If it happened in your workplace would you say it's "only horseplay".

It's an assault. Not a capital offence, but then to dismiss it as just a bit of laddish horseplay is completely unacceptable. We all know that one incident doesn't constitute bullying,but any anti bullying policy that I've ever read provides for instant action when a very serious line has been crossed in one solitary incident.The fact that the Gardai are mentioned indicates not a hysterical overreaction on the part of a parent, but rather a complete lack of confidence in the school's willingness and /or ability to protect a child against further exposure to this behaviour. Children have had SPHE on the official Primary school curriculum since 1999. They all know the parts of the body that are private,"the ones covered by your swimsuit".

These are sixth class kids.

In a very short period of time, they will be moving onto secondary school, and are no longer the primary school Principal's problem.

My guess is, they will try to downplay this as "boys being boys" and won't make any more than a token effort at consequences for the offenders. They'll probably get a "talk".

Though the memory of being humiliated may stay with the OP's young lad for a long time to come.