friends and money - loans.. ?

Nobody really ever asks me except the GF, she doesn't pay me back though and I don't really expect it

If it was a trustworthy friend I would for sure. We did have a friend growing up that drank and gambled and was always looking for a dig out, ended up owing loads of the lads a good chunk of money. I never lent him anything though I did said no to him straight out once. Gave him plenty of lifts to save him paying for taxis though and bought him a pint the odd time but wasnt expecting anything

He is still living at home with parents, made good money over the years but has nothing to show for it, never bought a car or anything at all.

Only to very close friends. Never anymore than 100 quid.

The same close friends will sit there and drink in the pub all week beside you and still not pay you back until you hound them but I get it eventually.

I don't really need it at the time but it's the principal. Does my head in.

Only 'lend' money if you are prepared to never get it back.

I loaned the equivalent of 3 weeks wages to a work colleague long ago. The only reason I eventually got repaid is because, before giving him the money, I had him sign a promissory note (witnessed by another colleague - his signature, not the content).

Have borrowed from and loaned to family members without bother. That depends on your family though.

Depends what the loan is for, if they are looking for it to pay for a holiday, make a speculative investment etc no way. If they are looking for it to pay for repairs to a car, home appliance, surgery etc yes I'd be inclined to.

For loan oft loses both itself and friend,

And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

Jesus

No to be honest. Have seen and heard enough of people I know being taught hard lessons from family and friends. I’m careful with money and also work hard for what I got. Never expected anything from anyone else and why should I.

OP you were dead right too - especially if she’s been on an expensive holiday. Looking for €30 for fuel is just ridiculous. Walk or get the bus at that stage. Tough

I hate to say it, but I think if she is the kind of person who is always asking others for money, she was probably testing the waters with you to see if you're a soft touch for a loan or not. Good for you for setting boundaries. 30 isn't a lot, but it could easily turn into an ask for €50, 100 and so on.

Personally, I could never ask someone for a loan, the thought of it gives me the shivers!

Proper mates!!!

I'd be very wary as to who I'd loan money to (have had soccer mates up to their eyeballs in gambling debt try to sponge off me) - but if a close friend or family were in a bind (and they have been), I've been known to give them a helping hand. My brother was stuck last Oct for 250 quid. "Loaned it to him" but by Xmas I wasn't really stuck for it back so I gifted him the repayment in lieu of an Xmas present for him, his wife and their kid.

We've (wife and I) plenty of expendable income - without having mad salaries (no kids, no loans) - so I've a bit of a lax perspective on money. And when someone closer to me is struggling, I've been known to revolut them a random 50 or 100 to enjoy a particular night out/weekend way.

Last Friday we were out with friends for a meal and I got the full bill on the sly and left a generous tip.

As my auld lad says - you can't take it with ya.

The best reason I’ve heard not to lend is that the person you lend it to will spend it and resent you for looking for it back, as they have already spent it so see no advantage in paying you back. Then you’ll resent them for not paying you back, so it’s lose lose.

Absolutely, I've been on the receiving end of friends good will and the giving end of trying to do the same. Money and friends do mix, if you're actually friends and have real trust, loyalty between each other. Otherwise, that's not really a friendship.

No way, I would never ask or lend big money to anyone only my parents and siblings, I would just say I don't have it if asked by friends, I do have money and they probably know I do but they cant know for sure unless they see my bank account.

just how much lending do you do. 😀

I've done some small ones and a couple of very big ones (>5 figs to family short term). Stung on one small one, but a relatively small price to pay to know early on about a colleague's ethics.

It depends on the circumstances, and the friend. Usually I would agree that mixing friends and money doesn't always end well, and I've seen friendships ruined over money.

I did once offer a friend some money to help pay some bills. Her relationship had broken up and she was at home with two young kids and her ex was refusing to pay any child maintenance or towards their mortgage. I offered it never expecting to get it back, but my friend insisted she could only accept it if it was a loan.

It was a couple of years later, when she got back on her feet, that she handed me a thank you card with the full amount inside. The card meant more to me than the money, to be honest.

Have only asked once and it was a no. No problem with that. So asked my boss (years ago) was to purchase a house outright. He loaned it to me, was paid back in a year and a half.

Have had many ask me recently. Only one I HAVE said yes to is my secretary to purchase a car. All paid back.

The kids have asked me for loans, but we have a rule. You save at least 30% of what you need first before I will loan you the rest. One lost payment and the item gets returned until you have caught up. Have only had to take the item back once (a car) for a week or two. Teaches them responsibility.

Friends don't ask. Family don't ask.