Bullies

My bully had a micro penis. I didn't think anything of it at the time as we were kids and I assumed he hadn't grown (hit puberty etc) yet. But yeah that was his issue with the world and ultimately me. He had a tiny penis.

I think it is one of those things with too many answers to settle on just one. Some do it as a response to being bullied themselves. Some do it in response to a lack they perceive in themselves they are trying to compensate for. Some are simply terrified and are operating under the fearful idea of "If I bully X or get other people to - then I am not the one being bullied". Others are simply angry at the world.

I have had a long term hatred of bullies seeing them essentially as cowards and nothing more. Always seeking out the easiest target. I think I have softned up a little in recent times.

A part of that is a recent addition of a bully in my daughters life. She (13) has acquired a bully. Which is promising to be quite hilarious if it escalates. My initial parent response though of course was to want to intervene. Go to the kid, the parents, the teachers, somebody. But my daugther has asked I not do anything.

What we are doing in response to a book we once read is building this guy a bike. Actually we went all over ireland collecting old bikes and bike parts to dissassemble and combine into full working newly painted bikes to donate to children who need them. But the coolest one of all is for the bully. That project is moving along nicely and my daugther and her friends are getting a lot of fun and proficiency at the work. Nice to see a group of girls but their phones down for hours at a time to get involved in something constructive.

Bullying seems to be an animalistic instinct to dominate those deemed to be weak. Many women are attracted to male thugs, arseholes and bullies, these men have lots of children and pass on their genes, producing a new generation of thugs, arseholes and bullies. Also IME bullies who are reasonably intelligent tend to be very successful in their careers and success breeds more success. Hoping that bullies will fail in life and get their comeuppance some day is wishful thinking.

I think a lot of what people say about bullies being insecure, bullied themselves, hiding something etc is only one type of bully. There are genuinely just aggressive people or people that are aggressive at points in their lives. It is way more complicated than people say because it seen as a childhood issue mostly when in reality it is throughout life. Peer pressure is the same as bullying when you think about it.

I have certainly been harassed in work which is what would be determined to be bullying. It started out small but noticeable slights and developed it to active obstruction in work. Refusing to talk to me, ignoring emails and hilariously pretending not to be able to hear me in a meetings. Managers did nothing because he was vital to the work we were doing where as I could be replaced. I was just his latest target but it was his shi**y issue with people and always looking for revenge for his many perceived slights. This guy did many things to many people and generally people would let it go but I stood up for myself one too many times and took revenge myself by setting him up to make a stupid statement. Then the game was truly on he was just out to get me. I would like to say it was cat and mouse for a while and I wasn't bothered but he was winning. Eventually the company paid me off 3 times my salary and he stayed. After a while some unfortunate things happened to his car and I assume it was at least one of his victims if not 2.

Does that Rockshore ad that is constantly on TV remind anyone of bullies, I'm particularly referring to the part where 4 normie twats slag a girl (who is far better looking than they are) off about her clothes. "They asked you where you finished in the Da- arr-bee". I have experienced this sort of thing before, disguised as slagging by fake friends. It's always a group doing this and it's never a one off occurrence.

Id be looking to do more than that. 😉

her car would be getting the tyres slashed for starters.

you need to really make the likes of her pay.

99% of workplace bullies are incompetent at their job and are shown up and humiliated on a regular basis by employees who know what they are doing. They will try to sabotage someone down to a level of performance below theirs.

Probably a case by cases basic I reckon. As you say there are many types out there. Some as you say are just insecure. Some as you say are just horrible people and enjoy it. And some just have nothing better to do and do it "because they can".

So to answer the question of how to counteract the bully - I guess you would need to work out what is motivating the bully in the first place.

Since having kids I have encountered three situations myself - one of which is current.

The first was a kid who was held back a year from graduating to secondary and was put into the school my son is in. So he was already significantly bigger and older than most kids and a few years older than my son. Definite insecurity there among other things and targetted a few of what he though of as smaller weaker children - my son included. We sorted that one pretty well though and stopped him bullying not just my son but pretty much anybody.

The second was a group of teen boys in my general area who were hanging out at a particular "short cut" in the town - and would accost little old women or smaller kids - verbally or right up to physically jostling them. They were definitely in the "nothing better to do and were just doing it because they could" category. I actively sorted that one myself because most people around where I live just complained and called them things like "irredemable" and never did anything about it.

The third is ongoing as my daugther (13) has acquired a male bully in school. Our plan to sort that one is ongoing but is coming up on being ready to execute. He seems to be in a different "angry at the world" category.

I would have been in the camp like GymImposter above of thinking them all horrible people who actively enjoy visiting pain and suffering on others. While I still believe such people exist I have softened my response to bullies over the year to acknowledge a range of types and I genuinely do not know how many people doing it actually feel good about it. My deep suspcion these days is that most of them don't. Not really. And not even the ones who give off the outward impression of enjoying it. I have no actual data on this though of course. Just a growing feeling coupled with experience and anecdote.

Very much so. There's no such thing as karma.

Chances are they'll be successful at business (a high proportion of businessmen are calculating, bullying dickheads) or whatever they do, have no trouble getting partners, make heaps of money and live full lives but will leave a trail of broken human debris after them.

I did the same with my lad (7) but made sure he practised picking his shot to the nose and go apeshit after that. Bullies like easy targets.

On the mod thing..being a mod on a forum in a tiny country like ireland doesn't exactly scream success so I wouldn't take them seriously. No doubt many of them would sh!t the bag if they had to be as assertive to someone face to face.

This is actually true although I never thought of it like that before. I got an out of the blue judo kick in the face in secondary school from an older much bigger (but in the same year) bully trying to soften me up for an arranged fight with one of his smaller mates. However the way I fought back must have hit a chord because I didn't get sh1t off any of the rest of his little gang of sad acolytes again. My mouth was in sh1t for about a week afterwards. He's a kept b1tch now and his acolytes are fat salarymen making multiples of what I do, but with no lives and fxxked up kids. I'd kick 7 colours of sh1t out of any 3 of them today, and more importantly I'm about ten times happier. They all salute and ask after me. I ignore.

Bullies are cnuts.

In schools now there's a lot of TALK about bullying but that's all it is.