First date guy being unreasonable?

I would count yourself lucky that you saw this behaviour at such an early stage, and not further down the line before you got any more attached to him.

If he is being this possessive and jealous after you've only had one solitary date with him, it does not bode well at all and I dare say one of the prominent reasons why he finds himself single. Please note how he's blaming you for how he feels - you're the reason he cannot sleep, you're the reason he's devastated, you're the one trying to sabotage your relationship etc.

TL;DR Someone else will put this more eloquently than I can, but I would run a mile.

You went on one date, by no means should he presume that you are in anyway exclusive with one another, unless you both had this conversation and agreed to it.

You've done nothing at all wrong and if he's making you feel this guilty already for no reason it should be seen as a massive red flag and move on away from him.

Its a bit intense what with devastation and guilt trip to say the least and I would agree with red flag here, too.

However, having a great 24h date and then going on a different date may be a bit too 'easy going' for some people. I can understand that too. Some people are just more emotionally invested in everything they do never mind dating. Which I think is fair.

But overall it's all a bit much I think - especially at such an experienced age - and you were probably not going to be compatible anyway. Dont feel guilty. Just wasnt going to work.

The way you describe the situation you may have to walk away gracefully yes. You could explain like you did here and say you're sorry it turned out you were on such different pages. If things remain reasonable from there who knows… I definitely wouldnt say sorry sorry. a) You shouldn't be and b) it would give your 'relationsip' a weird slant that wouldnt be the footing for a good start at all

Before I read yours and his ages I assumed ye were early 20s. He's the type of person who if ye were together he'd expect you to cut every single guy in your life out. Even smiling at a male neighbour would set off his jealousy radar. Get rid OP he'd be a nightmare.

My dating days are (I hope!) long over but even in my time, a single date shouldn't give rise to this level of exclusivity and even rage. In the light of that, I suspect the "wonderful 24 hours" would also turn out to be part of a pattern of rollercoasting so that you very quickly found yourself never knowing what to expect - one minute he'd be sweetness and light, the next you'd be the worst in the world. And it would always be your fault.

So yes - like the others have said, I think you may have dodged a bullet there. I would just say to be careful when you end contact with him. He sounds like the kind of guy who could possibly become a stalker. Hopefully I'm being overcautious here, but I think you need to play the "relationship" down and make it clear nothing is ever going to happen with him.

Dodged a bullet there, block him and do it immediately. If he calls anywhere near where you live or work call the Guards straight away. He sounds like a nasty piece of work.

Edit: keep all the texts etc in case you need them to show to the cops.

Jasus relax. I can see why he's disappointed OP and yes he acted overboard but maybe he hasn't been with anyone or had a connection for years and was very disappointed. With my current and my last partners we knew it was something very good on the first date and I'd have been pretty disappointed if they went on other dates afterwards, wouldn't be something I'd do. He was overdramatic but I doubt you'll need the police involved ffs.

Oh right I only read the first post. Yeah that's a bit much. Cease comms and hopefully he'll move on.

Run a mile.

In fairness I think you said it very well and given the amount of thanks your post got, don’t think there’s much more to he said.

Best of luck OP- as they say, you dodged a bullet and very early on too - even if he does present as a great guy, this behaviour after one date is very worrying

- given I’m in a similar age bracket as yourselves but not in the dating game, I’d certainly PRESUME that the person I’m meeting from a dating site would have potentially other dates lined up - whilst yes after a number of dates of going well, I’d like to think that if the feeling was mutual that we’d agree to give a relationship a try and stop seeing other people -

but after the first date? And without first discussing it?

Even if it went well for me, I absolutely don’t know you well enough to know how you ultimately feel after the first date- so to be so presumptuous is just a big red flag.

Best of luck in the future but please, block him and if he persists report him.

That’s an option 😆

Block!!!!!

I didn't say to get the Guards involved immediately, but I'd definitely keep all communications involving this dude as it could escalate very quickly. I still feel the op should cut all ties and put it behind her.

there’s a significant difference between lining up a few dates to see how things go and “dating” multiple partners at the same time.

I think it’s generally accepted that people on dating sites will probably keep looking until they have found someone that they’re interested in getting to know - if you’ve lined up a few dates then fine- relax and take stock of your experiences in a few weeks and decide whom you might like to meet again - it’s hardly “dating multiple guys at once”

I'd say its the length of the first date that has muddied the water here, I mean 24 hours is not just having a coffee and a chat! It's not even a quick shag. Plenty of talking must have also taken place. As a woman I guess I could only do that if I was really into someone, otherwise I'd be out the door fairly pronto. So some emotions were involved here and that is why OP is questioning this, and probably also why her date also reacted! I am very careful who I take things further with and its never quickly, its usually after meeting at least 3/4 times. That's because emotional attachment builds very quickly and can cloud perception of what someone is really like, if you wait until after a few meetings you have a better idea.

There could have been expectations on his part depending on what was discussed during this 24 hour date and subsequent texts/calls. And maybe in hindsight OP is considering seeing him again and giving him a 2nd chance. Don't.

This whole story reminds me of the most emotionally abusive relationship I was ever in, starting quickly with red flags which I ignored. I was constantly blamed for everything, which made me question myself. I always felt I could fix him, that I had done something wrong to upset him. He would declare his love then within an hour start telling me I was looking at other men. It was horrendous. Thankfully after 3 years I had the strength to leave him, God knows how as my confidence was on the floor. All the signs were in the OP's post. How quickly the mood changes, phone calls at 2am, messages all night long. Run and don't look back and also block his number. Like someone else said this guy sounds like he has stalker potential.

Red Flag, Run dont walk away

That is way too much emotional overhead after 1 date, to the point that you're worried about him knowing where you work and coming on Boards for an independent opinion.

I can feel sorry for him: meeting someone he liked, spent a nice day with, and then see them dating someone else soon afterwards. It hurts, of course it would.

But if he has a condition, then it is on him to manage it. It shouldn't be your problem already to work around it.

If you want, send one final message in whatever medium & wording you're comfortable with, to say you had enjoyed meeting him, it was a lovely date but the pair of you hadn't agreed on exclusivity at the time, and that the follow-up messages were too much after one date, and for those reasons you wish him all the best and you're sorry, but you don't wish to move forward with any kind of relationship or friendship with him (because he'll probably ask to be friends in the hope you'll change your mind, need to close this right down).

I think you need to reduce contact with him and don't entertain any future dates. He's been love bombing you with texts and now that you've dated somebody else he's flow into a rage. This isn't healthy at all. For your own safety let him down as gently as possible and move on.

Dude is a psycho, count your blessings, run and don't look back.

You've done nothing wrong. No loyalty is owed until you both agree that you're in a relationship.

Get out of Dodge, and BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK as Simon Harris would do.