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Why are some people not growing up?

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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 198 ✭✭Woodcutting


    I recall many years ago seeing two guys mid 20s crying in a pub on Elvis Presley's anniversary. No offence to Elvis fans but it's a funny memory to me



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,159 ✭✭✭✭pjohnson


    Are you more than one person?

    Emoji's arent very adult. You would love the Emoji Movie.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,530 ✭✭✭✭whisky_galore


    Who appointed you to be gatekeeper of Things You Should Do As An Adult?

    If people want to go to Comic Con, or dress up or watch cartoons, let them off, it's none of your beeswax and doesn't affect you. But going by your initial post, you seem triggered or at least annoyed by it.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,566 ✭✭✭✭Tony EH


    I enjoy having fun and to me that means music, sports and even the odd board game.

    And what the hell is wrong with that.

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,566 ✭✭✭✭Tony EH




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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,155 ✭✭✭TheIrishGrover


    Wow. What an interesting guy. Bet you are a blast on a night out.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,266 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    Fairly sure it's a piss take account. They used to post similar nonsense under another banned account.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,519 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    I wonder what triggered this thread.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,480 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    I learned something new today, that is for sure. boards.ie is 90% people I described in the op.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,849 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn




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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,480 ✭✭✭pgj2015




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,266 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,465 ✭✭✭silliussoddius




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,849 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    What exactly is that tough?

    Tell us a bit about yourself?

    Are you single, married,etc?

    Is it by choice?

    Then tell us about your hobbies and interests?

    We need to know this because going by what your posting here we should all aspire to be like you.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,480 ✭✭✭pgj2015




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,526 ✭✭✭con___manx1


    Don't get it either. Lads in there late 40ths playing PlayStation watching ainamee cartoons smoking strawberry cheescake vapes probaly flat out on porn hub. Even on nice sunny day.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,480 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    This isn't linkedIn. I do ok for myself, not someone who moans about things being so hard and not being able to afford a house etc, I do something about it. but when people tell me they are off to watch pokemon as a grown man of 30, I obviously dont take the piss out of them, that would be rude but I think to myself "what the fcuk?" "what planet am I on?"



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,519 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    So the flavour of a vape offends you? Do you get worked up when people eat things you don't like the taste of?



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,849 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    I'm not really interested in your job or qualifications.

    More so your pastimes/hobbies?

    IE, what are these adult hobbies?

    Your here basically moaning about people enjoying themselves.

    I don't like pokemon by the way.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,949 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    I heard someone else once say that they hated vapers...

    Not because of the habit, rather than 6/7 times a day they got a whiff of cake or other treats, only to sniff it out and find it's Keith and his cloud of lies😁



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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,183 ✭✭✭chrissb8


    If I was on a date I would try to find common ground and talk about the bigger things that bond people. Outlook on people, life, love, future, morals, beliefs, influences, what people are looking for in a partner etc. Also a shared sense of humour is great.

    There are a plethora of couples who have vastly different interests and get along for the exact things above.

    I know what you're saying and getting at with the obsessive types like adults who are exclusively obsessed about disney and won't watch or consider much else in ways of prime entertainment.

    The reason is because as you grow as an adult the complexity of what you enjoy becomes richer. That 1hr 30min animation film where everything always works out is unsatisfying and through a lense of a child. And it's the same for people who are Harry Potter obsessed or Star Wars mad.

    Like ok, yes these are entertaining franchises but you as an adult deriving the meaning and the deep emotional fulfillment from child/teen focused content to the point of it still being the biggest influence on your life as a 30+ year old as a bit odd. And maybe points to a bit of a naivety and immaturity. People on Tinder coming out in their bio saying they're a Gryffindor, euch, immediate turn off.

    But you can't conflate that crowd with just everyday people who enjoy a multitude of things. Including being a fan of whatever perceived childish hobby others might think.

    They can enjoy Disney films and have a continuing interest in it and might at times become more interested in the franchise than other times. What's different is that these people enjoy a lot of different things in their consumption habits. That they have many strings to their bow.

    What is worse is people cordoning themselves off from something they can healthily enjoy because of age or "it's not in". I say this as someone who collected comics for many years over my childhood/teens. And got slagged for it, not in any mean way but just a bit of a "that not for kids no?" kind of way when asked.

    Then Marvel films came along and it was absolutely fine to find everyone doing "what avenger are you?" quizzes on Facebook.

    Full-grown adults having no volition to do something for themselves and care what others think, following whatever Netflix series is in, whatever new hobby is cool now, are the ones who are far from grown up. A lack of character and a juvenile mindset to think through that way.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,519 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    They all smell like energy drinks to me, it's that weird synthetic quality to them. I wonder if all vapes are childish or just the ones thatare supposed to smell like cake.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,480 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    Reading, watching football, movies, playing football, painting, fishing, travel, running, going to gigs, listening to music



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,849 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    Thanks,

    Sorry if I was a bit of a bit of a git to you in a earlier post.

    I think life's to short to care really about this stuff.

    I've no real interest in pokemon, cartoons, etc.

    I couldn't see myself in a relationship with somebody with Nemo Tattoo for example but I get that some people like it and their happy. They've a good chance of meeting somebody nowadays and they don't have to conform.

    I think years ago lots of people basically settled down in their twenties. Essentially married somebody they met and then went to play house. Some of these people were happy but others weren't and wanted different for their kids.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,480 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    No worries. I just wonder are they doing themselves more harm by not growing up a bit.

    some of the stories I have heard are frightening, people who never worked until they were early 20s and crying themselves to sleep over a $hitty work experience job, and not over bullying but just tiny stuff like taking orders and little problems.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 428 ✭✭thereiver


    Theres nothing unusual about being a football fan , alot of people like marvel movies ,tv shows , sci Fi action films .special effects cgi have improved a lot any popular sci-fi book or comic book will be turned into a TV show film . The Harry Potter books were very popular with teens so of course they were adapted interesting films .

    I remember if you were a marvel fan you had to buy the comic books now you can just watch the TV shows and films

    II think now we have social media people wear costumes or talk about what characters they like you can buy comics in shops like forbidden planet

    Its no longer seen as weird to be a fan of comic books anime or sci-fi or computer games

    Its called being a fan I don't think it's childish or something to be ashamed of

    People go to conventions or watch YouTube videos on whatever hobby they are interested in

    We have a housing crisis it's a lot harder for even middle class young people to buy a house and get married and have kids young people are staying at home longer to save for a deposit

    With big marvel films like the avengers it's now cool to be a comic book fan

    Theres a wide range of scifi tv programs

    Console games like the last of us have advanced 3d graphics and a complex story with realistic characters that look as good as a sci-fi tv show



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,159 ✭✭✭✭pjohnson


    And the other 10% watch the "adult" First Dates.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,590 ✭✭✭✭vectra


    Its a simple case of "different strokes for different folks"
    Who want's a world full of robots where everyone does the same. Wouldn't that be boring.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 753 ✭✭✭taxAHcruel


    God no. Genuinely intends to pick the best one of the batch for him.

    Sure such people exist. But they appear to have nothing to do with anything else you have written in the thread. Somehow you are linking things that I can see absolutely no link between. People being into things you personally (with no defined reason as yet) consider "childish" have absolutely nothing to do with people who have not managed to become functioning adults in an adult world.

    3 year olds read and paint. Pre teens watch and play football and movies. Kids are often out running around. My what a lot of "childish" hobbies you appear to have :) Have you considered growing up a bit? :p

    That you think that is genuinely the funniest thing I am likely to hear today :) Thank you for that at least.

    But yeah - so is porn. But if you sit there consuming it or even a lot of it you are likely just a mindless automoton consumer with no aspect of "maturity" that is worth touting. And if becoming a mindless automoton consumer is what it means to "Grow up" then long may I remain a child! You can keep adulthood if you think media like that is what it means to be "for adults". Then the question stops being "Why are some people not growing up?" and becomes more "Why is the standard of what it means to be Grown Up so empty, uninspiring, and not worth an iota of aspiration?"

    Just putting "for adults" on something does not make it mature, useful, intellectual, mentally nutritious, or anything even remotely to be proud of or aspire to or to consider it anything remotely to do with maturity or having "grown up". Consuming it gives one no pedastal at all to be looking down on the pursuits or interests of other adults, or spliting them into "childish" or "adult" pursuits.

    That kind of reality TV might be "for adults" in your or their mind but if it is then it is worth wondering what KIND of adult it is tailored and intended for. Again I think you would find that the sheer artist depth and nuance in an anime "cartoon" like "My neighbour tortoro" would have more mature sustenence for the mind than the combined and entire output of "First Dates Ireland" would ever hope to achieve.

    I suspect I know what kind of person mindless reality TV and Soaps are intended for. And if I am even remotely right then I would strongly suspect that the people you consider having "not grown up" are of a much higher standard in many ways than the people you personally consider "mature".

    In fact the entire power of a movie like Toy Story 3 is that it was tailored and intended to appeal to the "mature" audience and appeal emotionally to many aspects of what it means to be mature. First and foremost being the powerful emotion of "nostaligia" which tends to be reserved for adults more than children. And it was a genuine work of art in how it achieved that.

    You know actors from the "For Adults" show Eastenders used to get accosted on the street by "grown up" members of the public who were angry at them because of what their characters in the show did. Adults - who can not tell the difference between an actor and the character the actor portrays. How grown up are they compared to someone like me coming out of an anime cartoon that is a genuine piece of art I wonder.

    Again it seems the issue in the world is not with people not being adult or growing up. But more to do with what the standard for such things has reduced to being.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,266 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    Sounds like you want to be the very best,
    Like no one ever was.
    To catch them is your real test,
    To train us is your cause.





  • A lot of older people are also living at home with their parents — not because they can't afford a home but because they want to be continually pampered by Mammy and Daddy.

    And it's true with the OP says, that some people simply don't want to grow up, act like an adult and take responsibility for their personal and professional lives. It's far easier to live in the blissful innocence of the past — effectively as an adult kid — where, conveniently, most of their hobbies can be sourced.

    I actually think it's something to be looked down upon, not something we should consider an "alternative". And I say that because it's far better for society and for themselves for these people to grow the hell up.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,480 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    let me know how that goes with the best bike and bully. 🤦‍♂️



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,729 ✭✭✭✭AndyBoBandy


    And it's true with the OP says, that some people simply don't want to grow up, act like an adult and take responsibility for their personal and professional lives.

    But surely then it’s also true that someone can grow up, act like an adult and take responsibility for their personal & professional life, and still like video games or animated movies/cartoons? And in the process completely contradicting the basis of the OP.

    Post edited by Boards.ie: Mike on




  • Absolutely.

    There's a distinction to be made between the two.

    But the cohort of people I'm referring to aren't the mature, professional types who have made their way in the world. For example, I'm into some computer games too.

    So this isn't an argument against computer games or some hobbies.

    What it's about is saying that there exists a certain cohort in society, man-children, who do not want to grow up and who also happen to have these hobbies / interests. They can be easily identified, we all know who they are and what they tend to look like / behave as. They're mollycoddled, to use an old fashioned phrase.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,480 ✭✭✭pgj2015




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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 753 ✭✭✭taxAHcruel


    Will do. There are so many parallels between this guy and a character in a book we read that we definitely want to try it before we intercede in the bullying any other way. If for nothing else than as a tribute to this short collection of books we loved. And in the book a restored bike was also given as a gift to a bully. So it's kind of a tribute to the book rather than the bully that my daughter is enjoying. Quite mature for 13 I thought which should appeal to the "people growing up" nature of your thread.

    In fact those books are also in the category of "For children" but I would gladly and openly recommend any adult read them. Mature concepts and topics are very often infused into the package of things that are "for children" at the superficial level. Hence why I keep mentioning things like Toy Story 3.

    The bully himself is a year older than her and significantly bigger. He has not gotten physical yet specifically. More of a sticking himself physically into her general space in a way he clearly thinks is intimidating or annoying. Otherwise he is just a verbal bully.

    Should he get physical at any point he is in for a rather fast and rather nasty shock though. So mostly we find his existence and attempts to target what he thinks is the smallest kid around as highly amusing. He clearly has no idea that at 13 she has a decade of combat and martial arts training and gold medals behind her.

    We dealt with a bully my son (now 10) acquired in an amusing way too. I went over to the bully's dad and offered a handful of entirely free introductory jujitsu lessons to his son just to try it out and see if he enjoys it. When said son arrived at my school I paired him with my son for training and sparring. Where he very quickly learned what my son was capable of. With the effect he entirely ceased his attempts to bully my son or in fact to bully any kid if there was even the smallest chance my son was within ear or eye shot :)



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,266 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    A good war would sort them out.

    Seriously who are these mollycoddled man children and what weird circles are you running in? I can't say I've met any of them.

    Post edited by Boards.ie: Mike on




  • Unfortunately I have encountered quite a few over the past decade.

    The problem is that this issue of not growing up is only going to get worse. That's why Jonathan Heidt wrote the book, The Coddling of the American Mind; namely — that children are not being equipped with the skills and resilience needed to cope in adulthood, and so they behave as children in adulthood itself.

    So yes, this has been a relatively minor problem for the previous generation. But the generation to come is going to have a lot more adults who have failed to sufficiently grow up and take responsibility for themselves.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,159 ✭✭✭✭pjohnson


    Going by the simultaeous "men who eat like boys" thread I think it has something to do with Chicken Nuggets.

    Its unconfirmed what eating chicken nuggets while watching first dates means.



  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 39,606 CMod ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    So, "growing up" equates to becoming some sort of perpetually enraged gammony type projecting their nonsense onto the next generation. I think I'll pass.

    The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

    Leviticus 19:34



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,187 ✭✭✭Shoog


    What this really shows is you have a very fixed view of the world and you love to judge others when they fail to meet your preconceptions.

    Post edited by Boards.ie: Mike on




  • Everyone judges everyone, whether we like to admit it or not.

    For example, your post has just judged and come to a fixed conclusion about my alleged view of the world.

    Sometimes judging other people is a very good thing to do. Any responsible parent would want to ensure their child grows up and takes responsibility for themselves, not hiding in their basement at 29-years old, afraid of the world and maturity.

    It's a sad existence, and too many parents overprotect their children to make themselves feel better rather than due to the interests of their son or daughter.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 536 ✭✭✭Gary_dunne


    Another completely unfounded generalisation. I have teenage cousins who love First Dates, UK and Irish versions.

    By your logic all shows on Terestial TV are made purely for adults.

    The point stands, you yourself enjoy a very in my view an very poor tv show as another poster said akin to Love Island (which is definitely aimed at teenagers). Does that mean you're not a grown up?



  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 50,251 CMod ✭✭✭✭magicbastarder


    there's an awful lot of stuff people do or are interested in - and a lot of it would be considered 'respectable' or accepted behaviour that i find head-scratching; and vice versa too. but one of the areas ireland has made good progress in over the last few decades is the breakdown of stereotypes, where (most) people are much less focussed on what you should be doing or what you should be interested in, or making judgements about you based on those interests.

    it has been heartening to see my parent's generation become more liberal, and that's a lot to do with them having raised kids in the 70s/80s/90s and dealing with the issues their kids raised or took home with them.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,187 ✭✭✭Shoog


    I judge you on your words. I have also come to believe that you are an American on a mission.

    Post edited by Boards.ie: Mike on


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,187 ✭✭✭Shoog


    Its widely considered that both watching and playing football is a very adult thing to do. Its just goes to show that what one considers adult another will consider childish - just as I do regarding football.





  • Watching sport is not childish or immature.

    But if you have a 45-year old shouting at the TV or jumping up, roaring at the top of their voice because Leeds United, which they have no links to, scored a goal — then yes, that's often indicative of some kind of emotional immaturity. How can any grown adult behave like that?

    It's what adolescents do, and it absolutely has no place in a mature adult.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,187 ✭✭✭Shoog


    Watching sport is the very essence of immaturity. A vast sucker of time and resources for no ultimate benefit. The ultimate distraction - bread and circuses to keep the masses calm.

    Post edited by Boards.ie: Mike on




  • It's a very bizarre definition of "immaturity", one not worth the name — that says immaturity and time wasting are synonymous.

    Someone sitting down after work to watch a round of golf, or whatever sport, is not immature — and for them, not wasting their time either.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 536 ✭✭✭Gary_dunne


    You've clearly never experienced a 95th minute winner so.

    When you say they have no links to it, how do you know that they don't? They've probably followed that club for 40 years, made friends for life through their shared interest. It could have been one of the only things that brought them together with some family members or a link to a family member that they have lost.

    Are there some people out there who don't want to grow up and want to live with Mammy and Daddy for life, of course there is.

    Does what people enjoy as a hobby or how they celebrate a goal have anything to do with that? Not one bit.

    Post edited by Boards.ie: Mike on


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