Overheard Wife

You are basically up **** creek

There's not a whole pile you can do to save it, but only you know if that's true

Hopefully you can survive financially

That is the key

The only good outcome is saving the marriage, do it at all costs, all other paths are bad ones

That wrong anyhow

Saving a bad marriage isn't a good path

The recording of the fight and threatening you with it seems like a massive red flag to me, very controlling.

Nothing to do with social norms or easiest road

Just reality

Still loves wife, there's nothing easy about saving a marriage, especially as described

It's what the best solution is

I don't know how you feel about her emotionally, and whether you're interested in continuing the marriage.

You say she suffers from depression and does not help with the children. I would contact a solicitor and see if there is something you can do to maintain custody should the relationship break down. Also find out if you can financially protect yourself.

Then I would work to save what you have, for as long as your children need a stable home.

Protect your children, then protect yourself. Keep a cool head and the moral high ground.

Was it a fight, or an argument?

An argument can sound bad, but if there's no threat of physical violence then she has nothing.

Men generally (and I mean this a generality) are brought up to feel that it's wrong to make a woman upset, and some women take advantage of that by making a man feel that they are being an abuser by not letting a woman get their way in every circumstance.

it does sound like its retrievable

if she is willing to give it 4 months, then its not over yet

only you can know if its worth saving

that's a clear case of financially controlling someone right there

the bar is set very low, because of generations of abuse

if he is worried about the recording, there is something there

you do not even need recordings

Isn't threatening to use a recorded argument manipulation?

She doesn't need an excuse to end the marriage.

I have a feeling the OP will have a better quality of life after a divorce.

The kids welfare is primary but are they necessarily better off in the current environment? That’s the ultimate question if you would be otherwise happy to split.

Recording a fight, that's bad but also that ship has sailed, if it's so bad she should have left, others will see right through it. They'll say she engineered the fight so she could record it. They'll see her as cruel.

Start to build your own life even it a healthy relationship you should have your own interests. It will do you good. I'd get counseling for yourself alone too.

How old are the kids? Which is worse, two homes with happier parents or one home with miserable parents. What kind of message are you sending them, if they see you unhappy and been mistreated but staying?

Don't confront her on your own. If you decide to do it, do it in a counseling session. I'd start out by saying, you over heard her talking on the phone, she was careless, it's not your fault you weren't snooping.
You don't like what you head and you'd like an explanation, who's the guy in work, what's going on. < say nothing else let her talk >. Next, what did she mean she's giving it to the summer?

If i was you i'd be gone,

Whatever you guys argue about or find difficult is one thing but saying to friends she flirting with someone in work & giving you x amount of time before leaving over the line for me,

She has no respect for you at all,

Cut the cord & leave her

She also said that she is giving our relationship to the end of the summer and disclosed details about counseling we have had recently.

I'm sorry OP, but it sounds to me like she is spending the next few months stringing you along while making her exit plan. Someone who is serious about trying to save their marriage, doesn't flirt with other men.

Do not agree to any sudden big household expenses or refurbishement projects, or take out any loans. Keep a close eye on the finances.

My advice would be start making about your own exit plan.

I think she has already checked out of the marriage , for whatever reason . First thing is seek legal advice . Write down all the times she has not been a good mother/wife . Secure your bank accounts especially any joint account