Overheard Wife

What is her beef with the relationship? What is she hoping will change?

She sounds like a nightmare, I know you say you love her but I think you will look back on this after a few months of leaving her and be glad she isn't in your life anymore. not sure why others have advised you to save the marriage. I wouldn't be surprised that she told her friend details of the counselling, women tell their friends everything.

Maybe she is acting the big balls on the phone to her friend and didn't mean it.

If you think she was serious and the marriage is doomed at the end of the Summer then the only positive is at least you know. Protect yourself every way you can think of so she doesn't clear out bank accounts etc.

Recorded a fight… meaning a physical fight?

Recording a fight is unusual.

Threats are not good either, no one should be threatening another in a Marriage.

You mentioned you kids, do you think your kids would be happier with the two of you fighting in an unhappy marriage or split up/divorced?

I felt terrible 6 years abo when my relationship ended, (My kid was 2 back then) but looking back on it, it was the best thing that could have happened.

It sounds like a desperately unhappy situation. For everyone, including the kids.

Maybe you’d be better off trying to split as amicably as possible. It’s not easy, particularly financially, but it reads like you’ve got no choice.

Of course it is

Plenty have done it

He still loves her and is in couples counselling

It's safe to say he is interested

From a financial point if view, a pactical one and a legal one the best he will get is joint custody

The recording of a fight is very calculated.

A possible reason (covering the tell-friends one she told you) is "good" legal advice she has received, so as to get a barring order in place.

that is not true at all, the threshold is very low for a safety order, a recording isn't even needed

"honey, for the last time, we can't afford those shoes. Don't you have enough?"

I doubt that's grounds for calling the garda, although in Japan in recent decades they started having problems with adults ringing emergency services when they had an argument with their partners and want someone to side with them, in an argument!

I'm asking if he thinks he's been manipulated into thinking he's always in the wrong.

In the example I gave when the electricity goes because the shoes were bought instead of the lecky bill paid it would be hard say the one who warned about the cost was the manipulator.

you forgot to put in the part about the leccy not being paid though

He would know what was in the recording

look people have arguments all the time, they can get nasty, it can be both ways, in court its your word against theres

They are already in a broken home, that horse has bolted.

She has been telling people privately that the relationship is done, and thats only the conversation you heard, its won't have been the only conversation she had.

Absolutely everything you have described, the phone call, the recording of a fight, the flirting with other men, they are the actions of a woman who knows its over and is getting her ducks in a row now. Come the end she is going to take you to the cleaners while you will still be crying about love.