Rich relatives

Just be honest in your conversations with them and your own children. Say ' we cannot afford' when discussion about potential spending arises. After a few such conversations usually there's an acceptance of the reality by all concerned and life moves on. If you maintain a good relationship with your own children and enable them to do well for themselves then soon who owns what becomes irrelevant. Especially as I notice that the children of very many wealthy parents are experiencing very significant problems with overindulgence, inability to handle money or themselves. Not wishing it on them, just observing. We are part of very big families and concentrate on living our lives indifferent to what others do.just a few thoughts.

Being born rich is a terrible teacher in life. It also makes it harder to relate to people. People with large disposable income, it's all about showing that you're wealthy. Totally vacuous in many instances. I think life on easy mode all the time is just not an interesting existence.

I once chatted with a fella who had a very bad workplace accident that almost killed him. He won several million in a settlement and invested his money well. I was reading the paper by myself in a pub and he came over and put a coaster under my pint and we got chatting. He told me his story. And what he told me was actually quite sad. He couldn't get a gf who really liked him, as they only were after his money. He hadn't got many friends that he truly connected with and ones that he had before became sour.

Too much wealth can be alienating and it's not something I'd like to be defined by. Your brothers kids getting all they want will do nothing for them in the long run.

I think a quiet word asking the brother to stop proposing solutions that you can't afford might help.

For some light entertainment, on youtube search for the "Richer than you" comedy sketches by Harry Enfield (probably 1990s). In this the poor sister, always the butt of snide comments, won the lotto and arrived in a new top end Merc.

The funniest of those sketches was when the rich guy was boasting in an hotel, and it turned out that the guy he was boasting to owned the hotel!

The point of these jokes is that the problem is not the normal person but the person trying to make them feel small.

I'm still in rental accommodation for past 16 years,I've seen people around me in my circle, buy houses, etc decade ago. I work hard, don't even party or go out to spend on luxuries etc. I don't even drink or smoke, eat mostly home cooked meals. Also, unexpected life circumstances happened ( I had to give some of my career to be a full time carer- which everyone knows doesn't pay, get valued or recognized) When I see posts like this,I feel like to say something so i didn't want to read and run.... like someone said above, if you got a house, you are above a lot of people in terms of financial security. It does bug me sometimes, to see people who have lesser qualifications ( or skills) get better jobs that I do, having struggled for years to get a decent jobs, I'm overqualified for the ones I have worked so far past years. I still try and remain positive as those thoughts about -I could do better - does wear me down...so I hear you.

Fuly agreed re hard work and financial stability not being related to a degree but whatever about getting to to the upper echelons of wealth, getting to financial stability and comfort in Ireland is not out of reach of any irish person I would argue.

I am open to discussion on what financial comfort is but I would say that by the age of 33 it is coupled up with joint income of more than 100k and net asset of 60k (deposit ready or equity in a home plus a few years of pension contributions). I would think that any 18 year old 15 years ago would be there with the right life choices and not have to sacrifice much.

The only thing I would say is that neither of them are truely wealthy. 200k is a nice sum but not exactly give up work money.

5 houses is nice depending on location but don’t worry. Plenty of stress.

No point comparing. Contentment comes from with in.

Times change, circumstances change. Keep up the good relationship with him, his wife & children for the sake of yourselves and your children. You never know when he might give a fig out in a crisis, or arrange some practical assistance. Indeed could be the opposite, depending on how life happens, there are no guarantees in it.

Of course it is demoralising to compare, and it may seem he is lording it over you when he is enjoying his wealth. Yes, in all likelihood he will remain wealthy into the future, and going forward, you will be doing your best to make ends meet, unless you were extremely lucky got a once off lotto win from a modest €2.50 per week as I do. I’m still waiting for the win!

For someone to qualify for €200k redundancy for a regular enough job (no qualifications required) it would need to be far more generous than statutory and the worker would need to be near retirement age i.e near 40 years service (from prior calculations for generous redundancies I’ve worked on).

I didn’t get the impression he was that old, is it possible he exaggerated on that at least, for whatever reason.

OP I ask this from a nice place but are you sure he's actually making digs at you & not just you being hyper-aware of the difference in circumstances?

I wouldn't be mad wealthy at all but I would be probably better off than my sister. I have a brand new car (thanks to work) & I was talking to her about electric cars in general & how it would probably be cheaper to run than her car which is continuously having problems that are costing a bit. I wasn't at all having a dig at her but it was actually coming from a good place because ultimately over the years the newer car would cost her less than the repair costs accumulated on her older car.

Also redundancy is not just used to "get rid of someone". It's a hugely costly and onerous exercise for businesses so if he really got that amount, he must have done something to earn it. Stat redundancy is 2 weeks pay per year of service (maxed at €600 per week) plus 1 week. For 20 years that would only come to €25k. I don't know of any multinational that is throwing away an additional €175k per person they're making redundant as standard. I know someone from a multinational that was there for 25 years in a high up job that just about got that figure. So there is definitely something missing there.

Look all you can do is have a word with your brother about how he's very blase with how he talks about money & that it upsets you sometimes because you don't have the same disposable income to just do those things. But I think getting annoyed when he's talking about holidays etc is more a you problem than a him problem realistically. All you can change is your response, not his actions.