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Long distance girlfriend broke up with me "as a prank"

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  • 29-06-2024 4:10pm
    #1
    JohnDoe77
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭


    I met a woman online 2 months ago, she's from Phillipines so long distance obviously, we are both early/mid 40s. I don't have much relationship experience, either does she or so she told me, so I'm wondering if I'm overreacting to being mad about this. Obviously havent met in person yet, but things were going good mostly, chatting online and video chat.

    First red flag was a month ago, she just randomly out of nowhere start saying I don't give her enough time and attention, I'm always too busy etc etc, demanding more time and so on. No idea where she got this idea, I feel nothing changed. Anyway, I half apologised and was prepared to let that little hissy fit slide.

    A few times she has posted photos/videos that I sent her straight onto her Facebook, without asking me. Nothing inappropriate of course, but I told her not to do it anymore and she said, oh I only have 50 Fb friends and account is private anyway. Ok, I said, I'll let that slide too.

    Which leads to the biggest red flag so far, yesterday. She says she has something important to say, she wants to break up with me. I asked was she serious, she said yes. The whatsapp coversation went on about 10 minutes, and I basically accepted it, a bit shocked but in my head thats it, its over. Then she says, hahahhah I'm joking it's a prank. She wanted to see how I would react. WTF?

    She didn't get the reaction she expected from me thats for sure. I told her how unimpressed I was with this "prank", said a few choice words and said I need a couple days to myself to think, I didn't wanna do anything rash (like I said, I have very little previous experience to compare this behaviour to). She did admit to me once that she can be a little immature at times, no sh1t!

    So run for the hills? That was my initial reaction, but sometimes I am undecided. Like I say I have a few days to mull this over. Just now I checked her Fb and she's posted videos of herself laughing and dancing with friends. She also posted up a meme along the lines of "men are all the same" 🙄

    Thanks in advance for any advice.



Comments

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    #2
    ...Ghost...
    Registered Users Posts: 3,679 ✭✭✭...Ghost...


    Yeah, run. Wasting your time there. Very immature.

    Stay Free



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    #3
    Jim_Hodge
    Registered Users Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭Jim_Hodge


    She's messing with you. 2 months of WhatsApp and video chat is hardly a relationship TBH. Let it go.



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    #4
    Geuze
    Registered Users Posts: 13,491 ✭✭✭✭Geuze


    If person A has never met person B, then they can't be boy/girl friends.



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    #5
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users Posts: 13,749 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122317896#Comment_122317896

    This. Add in significant cultural and lifestyle differences and that should tell you everything you need to know, OP.

    Move on and find someone local next time.



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    #6
    xyz13
    Registered Users Posts: 217 ✭✭xyz13


    With all due respect OP, if you didn't mention your age I'd think you are a teenager.

    Learn your lesson and move on...

    3 sides to every story...



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    #7
    whisky_galore
    Registered Users Posts: 16,319 ✭✭✭✭whisky_galore


    She probably gets off on messing with lonely Western men. Forget it.



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    #8
    Tork
    Registered Users Posts: 3,439 ✭✭✭Tork


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122317993#Comment_122317993

    This! If you decide to go down the Asian bride route, this is an occupational hazard. Why do you think a Filipino lady who's around the 40 mark would be interested in a single Irish man? It ain't love…



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    #9
    FazyLucker
    Registered Users Posts: 274 ✭✭FazyLucker


    Run my good man, run run run and never look back.

    You're playing with fire doing anything else. I know some people who would echo the biggest regret of their lives would be getting involved here.

    Run, unfriend her, block her on WhatsApp, move on.



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    #10
    tohaltuwi
    Registered Users Posts: 2,463 ✭✭✭tohaltuwi


    I’m sure there are tons of nice Filipino men she could meet locally and have an actual relationship with. Indeed I would be very surprised if she isn’t in a relationship in her home country. There’s no need for anyone to look thousands of miles away for a “virtual relationship”.

    Very occasionally people do develop relationships over long distance where they have not previously met but invariably it evolves from a common interest, begins with that, evolves into a friendship and then perhaps into something romantic.

    She (& perhaps her husband 🤔) likely more interested in your wallet than you. There are more local & genuine people that you can develop a friendship & perhaps then a romantic relationship with. And indeed these too could include genuine ladies from Philippines whom you could actually meet.

    Best thing always is to meet over a common interest, because you can focus on that if you are shy or inexperienced and let the friendship evolve itself.



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    #11
    Donald Trump
    Registered Users Posts: 19,815 ✭✭✭✭Donald Trump


    Don't start sending her money or buying her things anyway



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    #12
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,880 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    You have never met her so she’s not your girlfriend - she’s a stranger living far away that you’ve invested time in. It sounds like you’re not compatible at all, I’d leave this one.
    I know you are inexperienced and sometimes the only way to learn is by doing - so learn from this.



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    #13
    chrisd2019
    Registered Users Posts: 484 ✭✭chrisd2019


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058357746/long-distance-girlfriend-broke-up-with-me-as-a-prank

    Given that this is your first post, I will ask the key question first.

    Have you sent any money to this person?



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    #14
    CorneliusBrown
    Registered Users Posts: 79 ✭✭CorneliusBrown


    did she show you it

    Warning issued. Read the charter before attempting to post in PI again.



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    #15
    jj880
    Registered Users Posts: 4,875 ✭✭✭jj880


    Yes. Run. Look for someone you can meet in person regularly. She sounds a bit touched to me. Not playing with a full deck.



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    #16
    Babyreignbow
    Registered Users Posts: 538 ✭✭✭Babyreignbow


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122318419#Comment_122318419

    This. I knew a guy who suddenly began to have several facebook accounts show up as his profile. They all appeared to be him with all his pictures but contact details and information all based outside of Ireland and with connections to random foreign women who *liked all his posts. I know now in hindsight he was very active on *certain sites and like yourself had begun to have interactions with these women that he considered relationships. I never understood it but he obviously had invested himself into these situations and in trying not to be judgmental just let him get on with it. I knew he had very little in the way of relationship experience but the stuff he used describe was just…well clearly someone taking him for a ride.

    Do not give her any money, check any personal profiles and stop sending random people on the internet pictures of yourself.

    (as a note I had to cease communicating with this person as just talking to him apparently meant you were in a relationship with him and that was not good.)

    If a thousand suns were to rise
    and stand in the noon sky, blazing,
    such brilliance would be like the fierce
    brilliance of that mighty Self.”



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    #17
    JohnDoe77
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭JohnDoe77


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122318612#Comment_122318612

    Absolutely not. I'd run a mile. I'll be running it anyway.

    Thanks for all the responses, just wanted validation that I wasn't overreacting. I have nobody that I can ask advice like this in person. And yes, I'm cringing at calling someone I've never met in person as a "girlfriend". She started that boyfriend/girlfriend lingo VERY early on and I foolishly got carried along with it.



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    #18
    mcgragger
    Registered Users Posts: 449 ✭✭mcgragger


    You could be talking to a man for all you know.

    Has scam and bad ending for you all over it.

    Delete. Run. Don't look back



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    #19
    Sonic the Shaghog
    Registered Users Posts: 631 ✭✭✭Sonic the Shaghog


    Get on tinder, hinge, bumble and plenty of fish to start. Try match if you want paid. Even look for a local match making agency they've made something of a comeback.

    There's lots of nice 30 and 40 something woman here in Ireland.

    Stay away from this nonsense with foreign online relationships.



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    #20
    Purple Mountain
    Registered Users Posts: 13,180 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122319240#Comment_122319240

    Yes unfortunately. Without ever having met this person in the skin, who's to say it's not a catfish?!

    Block, delete, do not engage further. No explanation needed to her.

    Also, please do not entertain any other offers from overseas!

    Stick to Irish ladies who you cam meet and verify in person.

    To thine own self be true



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    #21
    Wanderer78
    Registered Users Posts: 29,527 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122319228#Comment_122319228

    scam artist joe, very impoverished country, leading many women into such, including prostitution, move on……



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    #22
    Nekarsulm
    Registered Users Posts: 11,219 ✭✭✭✭Nekarsulm


    OP, first off, you don't have a girlfriend. At best you have a penpal.

    And this is bizarre behaviour by a penpal, to be honest.

    I'd recommend you break off all contact.



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    #23
    chrisd2019
    Registered Users Posts: 484 ✭✭chrisd2019


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122319228#Comment_122319228

    Remember the term girlfriend translates into the language differently there. You can of course continue to interact with this person, but be aware of what might be the ending.

    Nothing to stop you looking for other potential girlfriends online, I myself found my current partner online and 15 years later we are still together. But be aware that there are many out to profit from love and the fraud is more lightly the farther away the potential partner is.



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    #24
    orchidkey
    Registered Users Posts: 43 ✭orchidkey


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122320122#Comment_122320122

    A man who has no relationship experience is going to crash and burn on those apps. That would be a terrible idea for him. Dating agency would be a better route to take.

    It's because of those apps that has people like the OP changing their location to Thailand and the Philippines and falling for foreign women looking for a meal/visa ticket.



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    #25
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,395 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    You're not in a relationship op. You're getting groomed to be rinsed



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    #26
    beachhead
    Registered Users Posts: 2,497 ✭✭✭beachhead


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058357746/long-distance-girlfriend-broke-up-with-me-as-a-prank

    John Doe-you are lucky if you have not sent any money.You are the victim of a professional with the breaking up scenario to test your interest.FB in Asia is wide open to hacks/abuse.Lots of stuff that would be blocked in Europe or the US.If you have not given away any personal info-location,address you should be alright.If you have started running then keep going



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    #27
    gsi300024v
    Registered Users Posts: 1,055 ✭✭✭gsi300024v


    Have you tried online dating? Have you seen a therapist to explore what might be holding you back from having a relationship with someone standing in front of you?

    There is a film you might want ot check out, LARS AND THE REAL GIRL.

    You seem to maybe be avoiding getting hurt by staying away from a real relationship.



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    #28
    Mellor
    Registered Users Posts: 39,376 ✭✭✭✭Mellor


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122337003#Comment_122337003

    What sort of hacks/abuse do you thing are possible in Asia that would be blocked in Europe/US?

    Sounds like urban legend nonsense.

    To be clear, OP is probably been taken for a ride. But that could just as easily happen from Muckross as Manilla.



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