Inheritance of the land from parent.

Are you in full financial control? If so ignore the old fella and plough as you you wish. I definitely then the previous generations don’t understand the value of “time” as they were full time farming so had time to gunter etc.

But also be thankful there is still enough fight in your lad in his 80s.

Any example of what ye are clashing on? I am in year 4 of young farmer tranfer also with a father in 80s. We clash occasionally but more down to me being difficult myself and him just being of an older generation.

The bother with the old farmer is they can't let go of the reins. I'm helping out elderly relatives all my life.

Don't be fuuucking rushing in with too much help. They will take advantage. Enjoy the freedom of having someone around the yard to keep an eye. But let them wear out with work, not arguing. You can't rush the process. One fall and things could be totally different tomorrow.

Do you want to work full-time and farm, or what are your plans

I’m in the very same situation, working full time and farming. Doesn’t matter what I say he has to go the complete opposite even if it means taking twice as long to do something just to defy me. Reverse physiology often works and let him think it’s his idea, other times I loose the head and go absolutely mental but that doesn’t really solve anything. He has himself nearly killed from working on the farm all his life and I’m sure your old lad is the same so grin and bear it while you can because they won’t be around forever.

tis small stuff really so, does he keep an eye out for sick animals while you are at the day job? Swings and roundabouts.

Not a farmer but in a similar situation with a handover. We went from being respectful in letting them know everything happening but over the years we found it far easier with the less they know the less they bog down the basic stuff.

Aging is a regression, a return to a childlike state so we find that giving them a few tasks that only they do takes their focus off us which is makes it really easy to get the crucial stuff done smoothly.

It might feel disrespectful, but it is aging management.

This. Boxing smart!

I was in the exact same position as yourself, the farm was signed over to me 5 years ago. My father would go out of his way to do the opposite nearly of what I would say that I was planning on doing. He even went as far as removing fence insulators and replacing them with staples and bits of hydrodare pipe.

I was on the brink of totally walking away and renting it back to him when he got sick last October and he passed there in April. One thing I'm glad of is that I didn't totally let it destroy my relationship with him but it was heading that way. This year has been a massive change as I have to put in place everything I was blocked from doing over the past 5 years.

No point in falling out with him over anything at this stage.

You're lucky to have him around and you'll miss him around the yard more than you realise when he's gone.

Very small stuff. Be the bigger person. If he moved the cattle he must have thought they were short grass. It’s not the end of the world. I had similar silly words about similar things. They won’t change their way. Embrace it.

it’s a hard position but you need to gradually start exerting control, he will get used to it.

There’s hardly a part of our yard that I look that I didn’t have words with my dad over something, it’s very normal.

Not in farming but a similar handover process would be involved. My Dad's work is something he loves and we share a mutual interest in it.

Im the only family member with the interest or even knowledge on potentially helping or taking over. The thing is, I'm not sure he'll ever give it up (until he drops), despite being retired, which wouldn't give me anytime to truly understand how to manage things.

I've noticed as he has got older he seems to be reluctant to ask me for help with it and I'm wondering now should I just forget about it and concentrate on my career. He can say the exact opposite to me just for the sake of disagreement. It's really hard to know what to do really.

how in gods name is that disrespectful, it’s what he called his father years ago, I’m calling him by it now and if my young man wants to call me the old lad in years to come it certainly won’t bother me