Child benefit debate over use of the money

We have the child benefit paid into the joint account and it helps with the bills. All bills and shared expenses are split 50-50

We set money aside in savings for the kids seperate to this

The child benefit has historically been paid to the mother because they weren't working after having children. Irish husbands were often too brain dead to share their earnings with their family in an equitable way, so the child benefit was for the mother to pay for the kids food and clothing

While I'm sure many will argue times are different, I'll chuck in a counter argument that for many women in Ireland the past is very much the present

To the OP I would strongly suggest you consider the following; even if your partner earns a similar amount to you she is poorer overall. Women have to pay for things like menstural products, makeup and often work attire that men do not, it's called the pink tax

On top of that, in the long run women tend to earn less than their male counterparts so her ability to save long term will be limited

I would suggest you be somewhat more understanding in your attitude towards her, and frame your approach in terms of joint goals for both of you and your children and see how best to achieve those goals

Alternatively you can stay on your high horse and end up seeing your child at weekends if that's your preference

This guy is looking to invest for the child's future. It's not like he wants half the money to go off to the pub with his mates.

If the family finances can forgo the €140 a month then he is the sensible one here and his missus needs to listen to what he is saying.

And a pink tax 😂 nobody forces women to spend the crazy money on make up, hair, clothes (and botox, fillers and the rest of that crap). It's been proven that Gillette charges more for a pink razor than other standard razors, but they all shave legs. If you fall for that it's on you, it's not a tax.

Most people I've spoken to about this, just treat it as part of the overall family pot. It's not specifically earmarked for anything, just added into the mix. There is no splitting of bills, 50:50.

It helps in months where there is a bigger outlay on the kids, e.g. back-to-school or a birthday party, or christmas. I used to use my June, July and August CB for back to school, then September, October and November were put by for Christmas

I wouldn't push too hard on this, if I were you.

Plus 1.

It’s part of your joint income, same as your salaries. Assuming you have some agreement on how to split this pot, the child benefit should be regarded as a benefit to you both.

It’s intended as a resource to fund the child’s upbringing so assuming you have some role in this regard, I don’t see why you shouldn’t have some input into how it’s spent.

If you can jointly afford to put away 140 a month towards the child’s future expenses, good for you. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be funded from child benefit. I don’t get the distinction.

I would have thought, based on conversations with friends and family that the norm for most working couples was to save the child benefit towards college costs etc. That was what we decided to do with it before our first was born.

What is wrong with separate accounts? We are married a good few years and have kids and never even considered getting our salaries paid into a single joint account - both of us wouldn’t like the idea of that. We split bills 50/50 and transfer back/over the amounts as we go (big ticket items like the mortgage we have auto transfers setup) - with Revolut this is effortless really.

I remember posting on another thread on this topic a while back and it was a strangely divisive topic for some.

Exactly! It’s about more than child benefit.

If a partner isn’t upfront about income and willing to share, the problem is not about CB

Not sure what prenups or 50/50 asset splits have to do with it. It’s simply our preferred way to manage finances, we both work hard and would much prefer our salaries going into our own accounts where we have full control over them to save/spend as we want (after contributing to all shared expenses).

The idea of pooling salaries and both people spending from the joint account was never something I liked the idea of even hearing about it long before I was in a long term relationship.