Child benefit debate over use of the money

Question away but kids are way more expensive than anyone would have you believe. The little bits a Mum would pick up/ pay out over the course of a month are necessities. If you have no trust with your partner over such things it's a tough relationship aheas. As much as we like to think its 50/50 it is nothing like a business.

And what makes you think a dad doesn't pay out? In this particular relationship. Seems wildly sexist to assume the mom has to be running the home and the dad couldn't possibly.

I am a man, a father and a husband but I am also realistic.

Historically, Shoog is correct.

Child Benefit (as it is now called) was first introduced in the forties, and back then it was paid to fathers (and only to families with 3+ children). But then in the seventies it was changed so the payment was made directly to mothers for the exact reasons described above. Traditionally mothers at the time did not work outside the home and many had husbands who were neglectful or did not share their income adequately. Paying it to mothers ensured there was at least some money under her control for the care of the kids.

Nowadays, child benefit is still paid to the mother. The reason for this is ease of administration, not misandry. However, in the case of separated / divorced parents it is paid to whichever parent has the greater share of day to day custody, which is usually the mother. It is also considered as income in the calculation of child maintenance payments.

I think you're right. And I do think the OP is fully within his rights to ask about it.

From the friends and family I've had conversations with about this, most seem to do as you describe - keep their own personal accounts they get paid into, but have a joint account they transfer into for things like bills, mortgage/rent, childcare, any joint savings and the CB goes into that pot.

It sounds fair to me.

Talk to your wife. A savings account is a good idea if you can afford it. I am taking a year unpaid for childcare purposes so it goes towards the electricity bill. When I go back to work hopefully towards saving but maybe childcare. Is your wife taking time out off work for childcare?

Just because most fathers are responsible doesn't invalidate the reasons why the state gives CB to women. You seem to have a mighty chip on your shoulder about people been honest about the fact that there are feckless fathers out there even if most are not.

The reality is that most primary carers of children are still women and the state acknowledges this basic reality by paying CB to them.

I was pointing out the reason why CB was generally paid to the mother - which offended one contributor who then called me a misandrist. He obviously disagreed with the logic but it doesn't change the reason why it's paid to mothers rather than fathers.

That poster didn't mention the 41% exit tax that will apply on such an investment

Having just discussed this with my wife of over 35 years she is in complete agreement about the trust issues this points to.

I can't help but feel if a woman was on this thread complaining about the man keeping the higher salary he earns then you would be taking a very different tact.