Child benefit debate over use of the money

OP...The money is meant for your kids welfare, not your partners makeup.

I honestly don't know how you can be living together, have a 3-year old child and pay for everything 50/50 - without having a joint account? How on earth do you keep track of it all?

Maybe it's just what I'm used to but it sort of sounds like the OP and partner don't really trust each other.

We're married with 1 child and all the usual bills, together 15 years and still don't have a joint account, never needed it so far so we'll probably never bother with it at this stage

I never said anything other than most fathers are responsible - you simply read it as if I was accusing all men of been the same. It's your projection which is the issue here.

There are obvious trust issues in the opening posters remarks - so I think my comments are entirely applicable.

The reason you think they have trust issues is because he has come on here and basically admitted it. It's not because of what bank accounts they have or don't have.

Your points about shared accounts adds nothing. You may as well say they don't have matching star signs.

If this is the same girlfriend who was driving you to distraction with her behaviour five years ago, then I think that a) you have far bigger issues than 140 scabby quid a month at play here, and b) you have some serious questions you should probably be asking yourself, tbh.

That has literally nothing to do with it. It's more male victimhood.

I wasn't giving you an opinion.

I was giving you actual facts behind why the State decided that child benefit would be paid to mothers, in the first instance.

Neglectful husbands was also only one of the reasons. Another was that paying it directly to mothers was supposed to encourage women to have more babies, so there would be more tax payers to fund future pensions. (Yes, that was an actual government strategy!) .

You don't have to like the facts, but that doesn't change them.

Currently, child benefit is paid to over 650,000 families every single month. It is a massive scheme. It can be paid to both mothers or fathers, as per custody arrangements I outlined earlier.

DSP are not in the business of getting involved in how families spend, save or split those funds once it is paid over to them. It's up to parents to have that conversation, which in fairness the OP is trying to do.

But I can't see DSP changing how the scheme is administered any time soon, to make sure each parent "gets their share".

Plenty of modern day misogyny on this thread, too.

Its specifically stated that it is paid to the mother or stepmother or the parent who has greater custody.

This was decided for specific strategic and practical reasons based upon evidence of parents behaviours.

Thats the facts.

Not if you insist on have separate finances. There are consequences to making certain decisions and this is one of them. It's paid to her so it's hers to spend just like the rest of her income.

If you want to have an equal say in how she spends her money - put it into a joint bank account and make all decisions together otherwise live with your choices.