Child benefit debate over use of the money

Father's will tend to pick up the bigger expenditure items often paying for education costs, helping with car costs, etc.

Buying more things often is not the larger cost longterm

Have you ever been in a bad relationship? I'm just thinking you may have just found the right person for yourself on the first attempt and never been burnt.

With the amount of posters that don't see the cash or know how it is spent, I think it points to a wider problem of this money really not being needed.

I can see that some men have had a really bad experience with their partners - but your the exception not the norm.

This me v her stuff is not a good way to think. I thought you were separated on first read.

We have a joint account and everything for the house (food, bills etc) is paid out of that. But our salaries go into our individual accounts and we then send a percentage of our wages each month into the joint account. Currently I earn more so I send more in in euro terms. We are a non nuclear family so only get CB part of the year, but when we do, CB is also lodged into the joint account. It's a household and a family, not a he v she.

If you feel you have to nickel and dime over 140 a month, and/or she's fighting you over 140 per month, I dare say that 140 is the least of your problems.

Show us some stats and I'll accept your opinion. It's not what I see.

I know quite few men in what appears to be your situation - but it's not the norm.

OP I think the problem is the fact that she won't discuss it rather than what it's being spent on currently. We save the child benefit. I'm not completely on board with this as I would like to use it towards some of the bigger expenses but then we can afford them without it & I can see the longterm benefit to saving it for my child.

@Shoog seperate accounts do not indicate trust issues at all. My parents were happily married but when my mam went back to work, she had her own account that her salary went into. My dad had an account where his salary/pension went to & then they had a joint account where all the household stuff was paid out of. A lot of couples do it that way when both work. It means all the general expenses are spared but also that I am free to spend the money I earn without accounting for it (& my partner can do the same). It also means that if I am buying a present for my other half, he can't see the transaction in the bank account. I can treat him & it's not coming from the general pool but is a genuine treat from me.

The other side is that if a woman isn't working, I would fully argue that she should be able to have her own bank account for the child benefit & that as a just in case. Monetary control is one of the first signs of domestic abuse & is often overlooked. Removing all autonomy from spending is something that happens more than we'd like to imagine even in this day & age. I would always advise women to have their own money just in case.

We agreed to put aside the money into a separate account to give our son the best 'leg up' we can give him when he becomes an adult… whether thats for a house deposit, a car or whatever he wants, he'll have a bit of a start and an advantage and we make no apologies for that.,

€140/m for 18 years is €30,240

Everything else cost wise is spilt down the middle.

If your significant other is not prepared to have a shared bank account for shared obligations - sure my alarm bells would be going off.

This is also why I believe CB should be means tested…

We don't need it, so are lucky enough to be able to save it for our child's future…

We don't need it, but we aren't going to turn it down either…

What a moronic comment. I earn more than my wife. All income goes into one joint account. She may physically make more purchases for our kids, but I pay a higher portion of the cost. Life is too short, I am not taking out a calculator to see who pays what. And you can be certain there are loads of similar scenarios where dad is paying more than mam, as it should be if he is the higher earner in the relationship (conversely if the mother earns more than she will likely pay more towards rearing the kids).

And our child benefit gets invested for the kids future.

Only just over 8 years left til he hits 18, but yeah, looking to make some sort of investment with it..

Id say you have serious trust issues if you can't trust your partner to be able to spend their own money from their own bank account without you being able to see it….