What's the etiquette here??

The squatter clears out the guts more efficiently, my friend.

I had a feed of hot Indonesian food coupled with several liters of strong beer on a trip to

Jakarta recently, was ‘shovel ready’ for a serious dump when confronted by a squat shïtter.

Took the position and pulled the ripcord…..the load exited like a four man bob and

I felt clean as a whistle and the guts cleared out.

Never diss the eastern shiïtter.

Japan is a funny country. You either have the space age toilet which plays music, can wash your rivet, has a deodorant button, examine your discharge for medical issues and so, or you have a primitive squat setup. No Armie Shanks with a pull chain middle ground.
Would agree with Brendan that they can be very effective for a full and sudden discharge. Make sure you check the legs and kaks afterwards though.

You have a point but usually there is an alternative, however, in this case it was ‘needs must’.

Big drop was ‘crowning’ and in fairness once the hoop was properly configured and full throttle was applied she blew out with no fuss at all.

Only downside was a bit of ‘spatther’ when she hit the delph at force.

Bit of a rimshot I suppose.

Jaysus!! I’d say you have a ring piece on you like the Japanese flag this morning after all those toilet visits. Get yerself to your local pharmacy for the biggest tube of Bepanthen you can find. It’s the only thing that will soothe your discomfort. I have a bit of a dodgy belly myself since yesterday morning after hitting the Guinness in Limerick on Saturday eve. I was persuaded afterwards by my nephew to go for a spicy chicken kebab which certainly didn’t help. The resulting effluence was so dark and viscous that that I had to give the toilet bowl and extra hard scrubbing with the brush and plenty of Domestos bleach. I’m on a morning diet of yogurt, fruit, nuts and cornflakes at present in order to restore my gut flora back to normal.

Used to be the odd McDonald's would have a security guard who might try to stop you from using the jax without buying anything.

The joke was you'd tell him you were going to order after using the facilities.

Commonly known as a McShit with lies.

Dangerous game Bobson adding Andrews into the mix when one has been playing "fast and loose" with the old colon, it's a laxative after all…

Yeah but humanity subsequently developed flat 7-Up which can cure literally anything.

A couple of years ago I discovered millseed (flaxseed), and learned to be careful with it. I was looking for the local equivalent of Metamucil (Psyllium), which is ubiquitous and cheap in the USA but a special order here. Both work by producing mucilage in the gut, and bulk things up very nicely. Aldi has milled flaxseed for not much, a heaped teaspoon every other day is a start. Too much will bloat you up.

Currently sojourning on the Canary Islands on a bed and breakfast basis, have to say the daily fry-ups coupled with some of the lunch options (on one day I ate no less than four fried eggs) are causing a bit of bindage. Double deuced today which appeared to reduce the "backlog" but the hotel provided TP is questionable at best so care will be required to be taken for the next couple of days or so. We purchased a four-pack of SuperDino's premium rollage which should help in this regard (but keeping them hidden so the cleaner still tops up the free stuff, we're not thick).

The Dorada and Tropical are all very nice but don't help move things along in the same way that a few pints of Arthur's finest will. It's yin and yang, Irish breakfast eggboundness followed by pints of Guinness and everything balances out. But Guinness is very expensive in the off-trade here and the on-trade outlets have dodgily tattooed sixty-something sad cases sitting there all day smoking their heads off on duty-free rollies while watching the Racing Channel. No thanks.

Had watermelon along with the fry this morning so that might help with the natural progression.

That's one of the side effects which has been under-reported on, they're all over the respiratory stuff but there's more to life than breathing.

Some prunes and dried apricots this AM before the fry, will report back later.

Feel about a stone lighter and the spring is back in my step 👍️ the premium toilet roll has proven its worth too.

I wouldn't go near the privy after one of those lads, fohherking bang in the place you could hang curtains on.

Had the misfortune to do that in Murcia and even discovered a set of Tesco jocks caked in arse muck draped over the pot and the bunch of soaks leaving the premises to cacophony of guttural slow burning farts.

Fcukking animals.