What's the etiquette here??

Don't speak ill of Cork's own Beamish stout.

On what grounds? Do you work for the vintners?

Getting change from a fiver for a, decent, pint of Beamish is a wonderful experience. Not even the soulless interior and shopping centre style toilets can take away from it.

Headed up to Skerries yesterday and had a beautiful crab salad. Slight maritime whiff to my movement this morning. All good apart from that. Good start to the week.

Jesus Bren, that’s a dire situation to be in.

You’ll be needing a harbour master and two tugs to move that bad boy out its berth when it does eventually come in for mooring.

I'd say it was a bad tempered day in Chez Bendar. You sitting inside on the couch tipping away at a few cans and cursing as your bet in the 4.30 in Kempton was beaten by a head (watching on the dodgy box the lad down the local set you up with). The odd sonorous fart and the scratching sound of you tearing at your cluster through your M&S Easy Stretch flannel trousers. Regular visits to the "under the stairs" to squeeze out a few drops of vinegary piss.

Tin of pears and a pint of prune juice for you at this stage. Maybe lay off the Greggs Sausage Rolls they now have in Dunnes. Get some green veg and brown bread into your diet.

Thick cúnt.

Indeed Emmet, it just goes to show how much the average Irish punter is being ripped a new one on a daily basis by Diageo, Heineken Ireland, VFI and LVA. Bunch of canutes the lot of them.

"High cost of doing business in Ireland" my arse.

One of the many cultural differences BD.

I was in a Zara here the other day and in the gentlemen's department there's nothing above a Large.

Also there's probably a good reason why the locals only go shopping late at night, merely a gentle stroll around the place had me sweating like the metaphorical paedophile in a Barney suit at a communion. There are better ways to spend one's time on holiday that's for sure.

Ah now BD you're a reasonable man, this is one of this forum's most frequent/valued (delete as applicable) contributors you're talking about in such an uncouth fashion. When all is not going well chez Orifice BD you might well be in need of a bit of understanding and support.

Good news at last….. was on a good walk and felt a bit of ‘sputtering’ in the nethers.

Kept going holding on the clutch till she was ‘shovel ready’ into a local ale house and pumped out a foohking

barrel shaped log as thick as a pint glass.

Felt champion walking home after that ………. all good in the ‘hood.