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Owed money I lent to an individual

  • 16-09-2024 9:13am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭


    During lockdown, an acquaintance of mine asked me for loan of money as he said he lost his job, was struggling to pay debts and bills and was basically threatening suicide if he didn't get it. In my stupidity although I trusted him at the time, I gave him money on a couple of occasions as he wouldn't stop texting/ Facebook messaging me/ What's Apping me and ringing me threatening suicide, asking me have I transferred money etc. I felt harrassed/ intimidated etc but he promised me he would pay me back. In the end, I had to stop but he still got thousands off me. Every time, we arrange to meet up to get money off him, he comes up with a last minute excuse about sick family member, sick himself etc and I'm tired of his games now, I feel he has conned me. Is this something Gardai would take on? At end of my tether here and I know I was stupid to give him money in first place but he played with my emotions.



Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,833 ✭✭✭✭Witcher


    The money is gone. You need to accept that and use it as a lesson.



  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 4,475 Mod ✭✭✭✭TherapyBoy


    Write them off, the money & the friend. They’re both gone now.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,623 ✭✭✭JVince


    Unfortunately it is a private matter. Whilst you feel you were conned, it would not come close to reaching the threshold of criminality.

    Best advice I got years ago is when lending to a friend or a family member, consider accept that money is gone and think of it a bonus if its paid back.

    Your only recourse is to issue private legal proceedings and you will need proof of all the funds you gave. - Them accepting they owe you would be good enough. If its 10k+, it might be worth it especially if there is potential to get it back down the line, but then it might be throwing good money after bad.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,808 ✭✭✭✭Water John


    That generally would be Small Claims Court. Not a Guards issue. Visit your local court house and meet the official present.

    https://www.courts.ie/small-claims-procedure



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 899 ✭✭✭SupaCat95


    Think of it this way, its a cheap way of getting someone worthless out of your life. I would write it off as a learning experience. There is probably a hidden drug/drink/gambling addiction in the background



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭Itchyfeet89


    So if I can prove to a Solicitor that I gave the money to them and if I have texts from them accepting they owe me, I can take legal proceedings? This would probably be very costly though...



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭Itchyfeet89


    Thanks but the amount in question is above the threshold for Small Claims.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,833 ✭✭✭✭Witcher


    Which one of these apply here?

    'Type of claims dealt with

    • a claim for goods or services bought for private use from someone selling them in the course of a business (consumer claims)
    • a claim for goods or services bought for business use from someone selling them in the course of a business (business claims)
    • a claim for minor damage to property (but excluding personal injuries)
    • a claim for the non-return of a rent deposit for certain kinds of rented properties. For example, a holiday home or a room / flat in a premises where the owner also lives'



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,833 ✭✭✭✭Witcher


    And you still won't get the money back, this person obviously doesn't have a pot to piss in. Again, you need to draw a line under it however painful that may be.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,488 ✭✭✭Padre_Pio


    They don't deal with personal matters unfortunately.

    OP you would need to engage with a solicitor and take your case to the district court.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,412 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    No it wouldn’t. You may be confusing Small Claims with Judge Judy.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭Itchyfeet89


    Would there not be an element of intimidating me out of money about this matter that could fall within remit of Gardai - hounding me for money at all hours of day and night and playing with my emotions when he threatened suicide if he didn't receive money



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭Itchyfeet89


    I still have record of all the messages I received at the time.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,138 ✭✭✭✭elperello


    Unlikely unless the messages contained specific threats to you.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,437 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    I'm sure viper foley would happily buy the debt



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭Itchyfeet89


    I haven't a leg to stand on so



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,987 ✭✭✭beachhead


    Similiar thread on here not so long ago.Same result-you gave money to a "friend" on a promise to repay you.You trusted.But no signed written agreement.You will have to write it off.A warning to all reading about your unfortunate experience



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,412 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    Only if you told them to stop contacting you, reported it at the time, and the contact continued thereafter.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭Itchyfeet89




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,657 ✭✭✭✭road_high


    What's that saying "Never be a lender or borrower be…" - these people have a radar for perceived soft touches and unfortunately OP you were taken in by the non sense. I've no doubt there's an endless pattern with this person.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,790 ✭✭✭brian_t




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 593 ✭✭✭Shauna677


    if he hasn't got the money, how is he going to pay you back? I hate people who borrow repeatedly but never have any intention of paying it back.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 388 ✭✭shansey


    you could likely sue and win in the district court (if less than 15K) but all you would have is a judgment. If you felt savvy enough you could do it yourself as the forms are all online and the local district court offices are quite helpful. After that you would have a judgment and need to take steps to enforce it. Most likely by seeking an installment order where the debtor has to pay you €X every month or be in breach of a court order. Plenty of hassle and your friend won't talk to you again.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,835 ✭✭✭horse7


    Have you ever watched Judge Judy



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,088 ✭✭✭OU812


    The amount you loaned, is the cost of the lesson.

    My old man aways hit me with never loan money you can't afford to lose.

    This person whatever their reasons, was able to get money from you, maybe they're an alcoholic or gambler or doing drugs… whatever it was, they leaned on you, you folded & then you were an easy mark for them.

    That's NOT your fault. You're obviously a generous and sympathetic individual. You accepted their reasons and provided for them. you should feel good about that & yourself. Do not feel bad, do not feel conned or hard done by. You're a good friend and anyone would be lucky to have you in their friend group.

    A solicitor would possibly help, but if they're not paying back voluntarily, it's highly unlikely they'll do it under legal threat.



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