Struggling as a mature student

College is not easy in the first place and can be more difficult with time out of education. I struggled getting back into doing night classes for my professional exams after taking a one year break after university ended. Can imagine multiple years being even tougher but you are back over a year now so could be finding a rhythm, albeit not having found it as easy as students coming in straight from the leaving cert.

In terms of your project feedback, you are the only one who can put in the research and effort to submit more detail which will come from work rate and motivation. There are websites and add on you can use to help with grammar.

I would be wary about comparisons to others on the course. While some are probably valid, it wouldn’t be unlike some people exaggerating their experiences. In somewhat competitive environments, you can see this happening.

In terms of the course, do you enjoy the content and feel like you would enjoy the work professionally? It’s too easy to just quit when things are not going as you envisioned but do you still see yourself working in the field?

I don’t suffer from depression and anxiety but imagine they can have a big impact on more than just education. You mention you have sought therapy but that does not sound like a protracted treatment. Is this something you could fit in or take time out of study to address?

@Xterminator makes a great point OP. You can be the best, most engaged and most commited student that you can be., don't lose the benefit of that by comparing yourself to others.

Comparing your Coop experience to classmates? You are older, less reliant upon the social life of Uni and that can feel isolating. I know when I was back in 2019 that engaging with the mature student group in UL was a great help to me in that regard. Even though I was talking to people who weren't on my course? I was talking to people facing the exact same issues as myself and sharing the experience helped me feel more supported.

Focus on you, don't compare your work to other students instead! Compare your latest submission to your previous ones. Focus on seeing growth in your understanding of the topics and improvement in your work versus your earlier work.

You are your only competition, and as already mentioned, comparison, with others, really is the thief of joy. Look back on what you have done on your course to date, you're still there, you're still progressing!

Keep it up!

You seem to have a bit of imposter syndrome as well. I assume you had to meet certain criteria before the college offered you a place? They wouldn't have done that if they didn't think you could pass. I also noticed that you're making assumptions about how you're doing. You believe you're at the bottom of the class, but is there any evidence of this? What is your aim here? Is it to pass the course? Achieve a particular grade? Have you been passing your assignments to date?

Going back to college as a mature student is difficult. I have some experience of it as well, and I found it very hard to knuckle down and study. It's also a very different experience from somebody fresh out of school or in their early twenties, so you will find it harder to be on the same wavelength as your classmates. The ones who've never left full-time education also have the advantage of being in the habit of being a student. Going back to that after living like an adult is a culture shock. Having said that, are there any study groups in your class or the college in general? Perhaps the mature student society might be able to help you out here. Or, failing that, do you know any other mature students who are in your college? There might be an informal buddy system on the go to help people out.

You said you don't have support in your life, but do you have anybody who'd be willing to proofread your work? Have you tried using Grammarly or other tools to check your grammar? I also think you should ask for as much help and advice as you need, even if it means swallowing your pride. To the people teaching your course, you're just a face passing through. They will barely remember you in a few year's time, so don't worry about what they think of you.

There's nothing wrong with accepting that you'll never be a good academic. Not everybody is and it doesn't stop them from being good at their jobs. You might not ever be top of your class but you've got other things that you can offer a potential employer. Doing this course in the first place is a significant milestone even if you don't feel like it is. It demonstrates that you have ambition, get-up-and-go, and self-discipline. There's a lot to be said for being a grafter and doing your best with what you have. Try not to compare yourself to your classmates, or about what others think of you.

I get the impression that you're trying so hard and putting so much pressure on yourself, it has become counter-productive. If you were so uptight and stressed about getting everything right in your work placement, it may have pushed others away. I train new recruits in my job and they all make mistakes in the beginning - it's unavoidable. I would much rather have somebody who is calm about this and visibly learns from their errors than an uptight individual who nearly has a seizure every time they get anything wrong. Perhaps they picked up on that in the place where you were sent? Or perhaps, as others have suggested, it just wasn't the best place to be sent. You've already been out in the workplace, so all of this shouldn't be any news to you. Try not to throw all those soft skills you've learned from there out the window.

You're well able to express yourself here, but I can see why they're pulling you up on your grammar. Even if you try out a tool such as Grammarly or other alternatives, you would benefit from another human being reading over what you've written. You've got this - try not to be so hard on yourself.