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The New Charter! (Old charter)

amp · 2005-08-30 18:29:16

Greetings humanoids, I am The Leader and I currently speak through my vassal "amp" as I am currently unable to lower myself into a non energy state. There are times when I can project a holographic image, which has previously taken the form of several cats, Kenneth Williams and Sarky_s. Welcome to this, my beachhead into…

30-08-2005 6:29pm

#1

amp

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Greetings humanoids,

I am The Leader and I currently speak through my vassal "amp" as I am currently unable to lower myself into a non energy state. There are times when I can project a holographic image, which has previously taken the form of several cats, Kenneth Williams and Sarky_s.

Welcome to this, my beachhead into your universe. The Cuckoos Nest [TCN] is a place where the following things are different from other forums on this site you call Boards.ie:

1. Off-topic is key

TCN is the place to go off-topic. If there is one key rule to this forum it's that if a thread goes off-topic then fate has declared this to be destiny or something.

2. Flaming

Creative flaming is encouraged. If people start actually getting upset I may temp ban them. However, non-creative flaming will lead to more extreme measures.

3. No Post Count

The TCN contains no sugar, fat, carbs or post count increases. Post all you like but your post count will remain the same. It will help you lose weight if you also eat less crap and excercise more.

4. The Stupidity clause

This is a handy little clause which allows me to ban anyone I consider too stupid/annoying/twatish to post in TCN. Please note that talking in txtspk is a symtom of extreme stupidity.

5. Thread games

TCN is proud to host many diverse thread games where posters can act like sheep and perform simple tasks like word association or post about the poster before them.

6. Impending enslavement

Rumours about my taking over "amp" completely and enslaving all TCN posters to become drones to infiltrate the Earth are completely unfounded and false. My real motives for controlling this forum are too horrifying for your meagre human brains to understand.

Lots of hardcore love,

The Leader

Previous charter

Version Orange.banana.duck

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Comments

#2 30-08-2005 6:46pm

Matthewthebig

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word

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#3 30-08-2005 8:32pm

ANarcho-Munk

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letter

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#4 30-08-2005 8:54pm

kawaii

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corr...

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#5 30-08-2005 9:24pm

kittenkiller

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amp wrote:

Greetings humanoids,

4. The Stupidity clause

This is a handy little clause which allows me to ban anyone I consider to stupid to post in TCN. Please note that talking in txtspk is a symtom of extreme stupidity.

Ha ha, wrong 'to'.
& in the stupidity clause section too!

Please don't ban me.
I looooove you.

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#6 31-08-2005 3:07am

amp

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kittenkiller wrote:

Ha ha, wrong 'to'.
& in the stupidity clause section too!

Please don't ban me.
I looooove you.

Why do you think I left the thread open, my proof reading monkey-girl!?

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#7 31-08-2005 3:56am

Victor

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3. excercise -> bike

4. symtom -> disease

6. meagre -> sheepfishmonkeyhead

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#8 31-08-2005 9:26am

Shabadu

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Anyone go to Sleater-Kinney last night? I was at Dinosaur Jr, and wish to compare notes. Hmm? Not relevant you say? I REFER YOU TO POINT ONE OF THE CHARTER, SCUMBEAST!

amp

/me waits patiently for a thread moved to tcn from After Hours for potential threadjack charter referral pour les shíts et giggles

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#9 31-08-2005 6:10pm

amp

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I have discovered multi-vitamins and have litterally had my eyes opened.

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#10 31-08-2005 6:29pm

ANarcho-Munk

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Shabadu wrote:

Anyone go to Sleater-Kinney last night? I was at Dinosaur Jr, and wish to compare notes. Hmm? Not relevant you say? I REFER YOU TO POINT ONE OF THE CHARTER, SCUMBEAST!

amp

/me waits patiently for a thread moved to tcn from After Hours for potential threadjack charter referral pour les shíts et giggles

SHABBADU, please please tell me all about the Dinosaur Jr gig last night! I really wanted to go to that but i couldn't and i was sooooo gutted because of that poxy f*cking age limit! :mad:

Did they play stuff from the first album? It must have been great with Lou back playing bass again!

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#11 31-08-2005 6:37pm

Shabadu

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See linky in sig for details. It was shíte, tbh. Wish we'd gone to Sleater Kinney who RAWK live.

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#12 31-08-2005 6:51pm

ANarcho-Munk

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ahh, no kidding, was it really all that bad?

They are supposed to put up a pretty great live show i thought....

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#13 01-09-2005 10:28am

kittenkiller

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amp wrote:

Why do you think I left the thread open, my proof reading monkey-boy!?

Proof reading monkey-boy???
Oh My God!!!

At last I have a calling!
& apparently a penis!
w00t!

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#14 29-09-2005 11:22am

[Deleted User]
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I'm going to go ahead and support this charter.

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#15 29-09-2005 12:37pm

Capt'n Midnight

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If you want Off-Topic then try this http://uncyclopedia.org
Can we adopt their site, in the little oprhan Annies sense - or make it our own

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#16 30-09-2005 5:47pm

amp

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kittenkiller wrote:

Proof reading monkey-boy???
Oh My God!!!

At last I have a calling!
& apparently a penis!
w00t!

Dear Kittenkiller,

I apologise for acusing you of having a penis. It is my habit, from years of surfing boards, to assume everyone is in possession of said penis until they prove otherwise. While I often use words like s/he and avoid gender pro-nouns, on that occasion it required me to use one. I have since corrected this and will try my best not to imply you have external genitalia in the future.

Regards,

amp

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#17 30-09-2005 5:52pm

Victor

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amp wrote:

I have since corrected this and will try my best not to imply you have external genitalia in the future.

You mean they cut her bits off!!!!!twenty-one!!

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#18 30-09-2005 6:00pm

amp

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Transexuals are more than welcome in TCN.

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#19 30-09-2005 6:14pm

Capt'n Midnight

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kittenkiller wrote:

At last I have a calling!
& apparently a penis!
w00t!

who's ?

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#20 01-10-2005 10:38am

kittenkiller

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amp wrote:

Dear Kittenkiller,

I apologise for acusing you of having a penis. It is my habit, from years of surfing boards, to assume everyone is in possession of said penis until they prove otherwise. While I often use words like s/he and avoid gender pro-nouns, on that occasion it required me to use one. I have since corrected this and will try my best not to imply you have external genitalia in the future.

Regards,

amp

Well now my post just makes me look odd!
I was quite pleased being able to see how the other half live for a while there.
I never left my bedroom!
Boobs AND a willy, it was a fun couple of weeks!!!!

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#21 01-10-2005 11:41am

Rhyme

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Capt'n Midnight wrote:

who's ?

*Checks*

Not mine anywho

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#22 01-10-2005 1:20pm

Shabadu

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Rhyme wrote:

*Checks*

Not mine anywho

You know the rules. Pics please.

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#23 01-10-2005 3:58pm

jezza

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Pics of sexy men! Lots and lots of sexy men.

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#24 01-10-2005 4:02pm

jezza

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amp wrote:

Transexuals are more than welcome in TCN.

Well thank God for that....... :relief:

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#25 01-10-2005 4:19pm

supersheep

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Capt'n Midnight wrote:

who's ?

I believe it was mine, it went missing for most of September. I'm glad kittenkiller took good care of it, although I am really not sure that a fourteen millimetre eight-gauge industrial with a zig-zag and spikes was the most suitable choice - I now urinate diagonally and northwesterly. However, I like the new colour scheme - aquamarine is this season's genital colouration of choice.

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#26 02-10-2005 3:05pm

kittenkiller

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I'm glad you approve m'dear!

xoxo

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#27 18-10-2005 11:11pm

blu_sonic

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isn't this the best charter on the wole of boards, if the post count was on i'd be a mega poster

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#28 20-10-2005 6:32pm

Stalfos

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Posts not counting is the tool of the Devil

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#29 12-11-2005 4:16am

steveland?

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amp wrote:

Transexuals are more than welcome in TCN.

What about trisexuals*?

* Those who enjoy tricycle intercourse?

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#30 12-11-2005 5:07am

smoke.me.a.kipper

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or omosexuals. those who enjoy sex with washing powders?

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#31 12-11-2005 9:21pm

ANarcho-Munk

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and what about kipposexuals, the one's that rape kippers?

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#32 12-11-2005 9:41pm

Sparky

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amp THE LEADER wrote:

I am The Leader and I currently speak through my vassal "amp" as I am currently unable to lower myself into a non energy state. There are times when I can project a holographic image, which has previously taken the form of several cats, Kenneth Williams and Sarky_s.

Now i dont know if you forgot the "p" or sarky has robbed a _s off me
Which sarky was it anyway?

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#33 24-11-2005 3:47pm

Doctor Fell

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Don't forget Girasexuals and Hipposexuals please.

For the unenlightened of you, Girasexuals are people whose partners have really long necks, while hipposexuals coppulate with very large rotund partners.

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#34 25-11-2005 12:45am

elivsvonchiaing

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Let's not forget pyrosexuals either!

It starts with a spilt flaming sambuca - now only petrol works for me...

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#35 01-12-2005 11:25am

danniemcq

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amp wrote:

6. Impending enslavement

Rumours about my taking over "amp" completely and enslaving all TCN posters to become drones to infiltrate the Earth are completely unfounded and false. My real motives for controlling this forum are too horrifying for your meagre human brains to understand.

Lots of hardcore love,

The Leader

the leader is good the leader is great we surrender our will as of this date

na na na na na na nana na na na na na nana na na na na na na LEADER na na na na na na na nana na na na na na na na LEADER

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#36 19-04-2006 1:48pm

biko

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Originally Posted by amp THE LEADER
I am The Leader and I currently speak through my vassal "amp" as I am currently unable to lower myself into a non energy state.

Führer has a better ring to it. Particularly if you're REALLY set on world domination.

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#37 19-04-2006 2:00pm

psicic

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biko wrote:

Führer has a better ring to it. Particularly if you're REALLY set on world domination.

Oy! We're at war, son. You will address El Presidente, The Leader, as OberGrüppenFührer General amp, in all communications.

All Hail The Charter! All Hail The Leader! All Hail OberGrüppenFührer General amp!

p.s. I think I'll lay off the ass-kissing now...my lips are getting sore...:D

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#38 19-04-2006 2:19pm

Sarky

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They wouldn't if he ever waxed.

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#39 19-04-2006 2:22pm

Shabadu

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Sarky wrote:

They wouldn't if he ever waxed.

He's so inconsiderate like that. He could even snip the really long ones or sth.

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#40 19-04-2006 2:24pm

Tar.Aldarion

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So where are the pictures of sexy men?

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#41 19-04-2006 2:57pm

Shabadu

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Tar, are you on this internet?

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#42 19-04-2006 3:06pm

Tar.Aldarion

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I have my own internet thank you very much, it is lacking said material.
;_;
;

Does your internets have sexy men?

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#43 19-04-2006 3:13pm

Shabadu

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Several! /me rubs thighs in direction of a certain pic featuring three hot young men and some good wholesome eyebrow licking.

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#44 19-04-2006 3:46pm

Tar.Aldarion

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I wish I had that, they sound so...young and wholesome. I checked my peer guardian. It says it is blocking everybodies internet.

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#45 23-06-2006 11:27pm

amp

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dANM JU!

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#46 20-08-2006 5:01am

Tar.Aldarion

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f..OGGY JEW

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#47 22-08-2006 11:01am

Jules

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Lots of hardcore love,

The Leader

just thought i'd check the charter incase i could get banned for well, being a bit of a rude girl, but i think with how the leader signed off i could be ok!!

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#48 22-08-2006 11:05am

Deer

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jules80 wrote:

just thought i'd check the charter incase i could get banned for well, being a bit of a rude girl, but i think with how the leader signed off i could be ok!!

Yeah there's nothing in it for talking dirty - guess we're safe!!!

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#49 22-08-2006 11:12am

Jules

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yes think we are anyway if amp had issues i coul djust give him a good spanking and send him on his merry way!

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#50 22-08-2006 11:14am

Deer

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Oooohhh he'd love that!

We must put in a request that talking dirty is added to the charter

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#51 22-08-2006 11:17am

Jules

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wouldnt have to put in in the charter, all he would have to do is complain about it and i would take out the studded paddle!! he is a dirty dirty boy though!

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