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Moving on and Lonliness

  • 06-11-2005 09:01PM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    A few month ago my now xgirl “dumped” me+I didn’t see it coming.Ive had my time of beggin for her back, looking for answers to questions that don’t matter, not eating + sleeping properly etc. Together 5 years,all through college+ last year of school.We were mad bout one another + we got on well wit both families.she ended it cas she got a taste of a new life when she moved away to work.I saw her some weekends. It ended horribly + I took it badly,we don’t talk anymore(miss that,was my bestfriend tbh). Its 5 months now,still on my mind.I lost a lot of friends while I was with her, unintentionally(people just went separate ways).the very few mates I have left have asked me to go out clubbin +drinkin on occasions + I do but I dont enjoy myself. I do try really hard to. It really hurts and it is really annoying at this stage cas I want to move on but I cant help but feel sorry for myself and want to hide away.I miss the companionship,I suppose relied on it a little.I miss my girl,I still love her even after all she said and all has happened. I understand though its over and we could never go back to way things were

    I thought she was the one, and now I know she wasn’t(or didn’t want to be) it got me down because I put all my heart into this(I cant even hate her after all was said and done). Everytime I think bout her I just smile and remember goodtimes. Wish I could pinch myself and everything would be okay. I can see what its doing to me and I really hope I can get it and her out of my head, cas if I don’t I’ll go up the wall. Was a really happy person before all this sht happened.

    I know what some will say:: join a club, find a new job, get a hobbie, find a new girl (no interest, still hung up on x) etc. I want to move on but it’s been a while now and deep down Im full of anger and misery, just want it all to go away. Tried giving it time, pubbin and clubbin, getting back to the gaa and even counselling, but haven’t really changed anything (especially the counselling). Its weird, I know Im lonely and I hate bein lonely but I don’t want to throw parties or go on the piss. Has anyone felt like this for a long period of time and is there any general solution? (prob a stupid question but need to talk to someone who’s been through it)


Comments

  • #2
    McGinty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 829 ✭✭✭McGinty


    Your reaction is normal, your grieving, you were with your girlfriend for a very long time, in actual fact as long as my marriage and that took me at least two years to get over, don't be hard on yourself, take each day as it comes. For now your grieving, you'll wake up one day and you won't grieve, but I can't say when unfortunately, its sad it didn't work out, but it sounds like your ex girlfriend just changed and wanted different things, it sounds like it had very little to do with you the person, life can suck, but you may find one day that you too will outgrow another person, which will allow you to see your ex's perspective. The only thing I can advise is do nice things for yourself, what ever pleases you, do it. Take care


  • #3
    Corksham
    Closed Accounts Posts: 190 ✭✭Corksham


    I feel you pain it happened to me as well and took me a long time to get over it, I just posted this in another thread:
    I think a large ammount of people have been through and are going through it. I lived with my ex for three odd years, Im 30 now and havent seen or heard from her in nearly 4 years and I will think of her for the rest of my life - I took me well over a year to get over her, I ruined another relationship subconciously comparing the two, but its a life experience and believe me when it say this too will pass, you will eventually get over her, take all the time that you need personally (I tried to drink the country dry for the first six months) but you'll be inured by the experience.
    W C Fields said he could sum up life in three words "It goes on", just try to occupy your time, call old friends (if they are true friends they'll be glad to go for pints etc.. with ya)


  • #4
    WhiteWashMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,099 ✭✭✭✭WhiteWashMan


    Tom82 wrote:
    A few month ago my now xgirl “dumped” me+I didn’t see it coming.Ive had my time of beggin for her back, looking for answers to questions that don’t matter, not eating + sleeping properly etc. Together 5 years,all through college+ last year of school.We were mad bout one another + we got on well wit both families.she ended it cas she got a taste of a new life when she moved away to work.I saw her some weekends. It ended horribly + I took it badly,we don’t talk anymore(miss that,was my bestfriend tbh). Its 5 months now,still on my mind.I lost a lot of friends while I was with her, unintentionally(people just went separate ways).the very few mates I have left have asked me to go out clubbin +drinkin on occasions + I do but I dont enjoy myself. I do try really hard to. It really hurts and it is really annoying at this stage cas I want to move on but I cant help but feel sorry for myself and want to hide away.I miss the companionship,I suppose relied on it a little.I miss my girl,I still love her even after all she said and all has happened. I understand though its over and we could never go back to way things were

    I thought she was the one, and now I know she wasn’t(or didn’t want to be) it got me down because I put all my heart into this(I cant even hate her after all was said and done). Everytime I think bout her I just smile and remember goodtimes. Wish I could pinch myself and everything would be okay. I can see what its doing to me and I really hope I can get it and her out of my head, cas if I don’t I’ll go up the wall. Was a really happy person before all this sht happened.

    I know what some will say:: join a club, find a new job, get a hobbie, find a new girl (no interest, still hung up on x) etc. I want to move on but it’s been a while now and deep down Im full of anger and misery, just want it all to go away. Tried giving it time, pubbin and clubbin, getting back to the gaa and even counselling, but haven’t really changed anything (especially the counselling). Its weird, I know Im lonely and I hate bein lonely but I don’t want to throw parties or go on the piss. Has anyone felt like this for a long period of time and is there any general solution? (prob a stupid question but need to talk to someone who’s been through it)

    in that case, be miserable until you are ready to join the world again.
    no, there is no general solution except time.
    some people take more than others.


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