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Films that should not be made.

  • 03-01-2006 07:26PM
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 725
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    Just take a look at the line up this turn sandwitch of a director has.


    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0093051/


    You'll note the top 7 are Game adaptations ,game adaptations that shouldnt be adapted.


    Who is giving this guy the money?


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 844 casanova_kid
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    who are you to say they shouldn't be made? Have you seen any of his films? Don't you think he should have the chance to try and make a good movie out these games? If they're crap, you can ignore them but by saying they shouldn't be made, you are trying to put limits on art.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,130 Karl Hungus
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    Films that should not be made? That's an easy one:

    Oldboy
    The Eye
    The Departed
    My Sassy Girl
    Pulse
    Chaos
    The Lake House
    In-Utero

    All remakes of films that quite simply do not need to be remade.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,645 Shrimp
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    Old boy isn't great, it's trying to be something it's not.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,130 Karl Hungus
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    Oh, and there's rumours of a remake of A Tale Of Two Sisters, with the Olsen Twins in the lead. That is just wrong on so many levels, and most certainly should never be made.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,645 Shrimp
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    And what does the tale entail?.. *fingers crossed*


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 100 Zeppie
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    Oh, and there's rumours of a remake of A Tale Of Two Sisters, with the Olsen Twins in the lead. That is just wrong on so many levels, and most certainly should never be made.



    PLEASE tell me your kiddin!

    Why ....why would they do that! :(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,130 Karl Hungus
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    Zeppie wrote:
    PLEASE tell me your kiddin!

    Why ....why would they do that! :(

    While I'm not kidding, at this stage it's really only a rumour, so don't get bent out of shape just yet. That said, I wouldn't put it past Hollywood.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,982 ObeyGiant
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    It's already been remade. As a Bollywood film called "Zinda". Complete with song-and-dance sequences.
    hehehehehe


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,130 Karl Hungus
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    ObeyGiant wrote:
    It's already been remade. As a Bollywood film called "Zinda". Complete with song-and-dance sequences.
    hehehehehe

    Oh yes! I forgot about that! Now that I have to see just for the absurdity of it. :v:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,667 madrab
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    pat kenny wrote:
    Who is giving this guy the money?

    read an article that the games producers are giving him money to make the movies as they know they will flop & under some wierd german law they can get massive tax relief for supporting the "arts" & claim the loss as well


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,473 RE*AC*TOR
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    Remake of the Pink Panther with Steve Martin as Clouseau....


    *I WIN*


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,198 Crash
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    ...That makes me want to vomit.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,746 Drag00n79
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    The Wicker Man with Nicolas Cage in Edward Woodward's old role..


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 94,366 Capt'n Midnight
    Mod ✭✭✭✭


    Any "made for TV" remake of a classic film. <Cringe>

    Badly scripted films based on a long TV series that had better scripts per episode ( mission impossible etc. )

    Shortened versions of some TV series. eg. Das Boot.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,936 fade2black
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    Bruce Almighty 2...except it's Evan Almighty this time..and everyone's favourite 40 year old virgin is the man with the plan this time


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 18,115 ShiverinEskimo
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    Shrimp wrote:
    Old boy isn't great, it's trying to be something it's not.

    Whats it trying to be that it is not??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 217 Gaillimhtaibhse
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    RE*AC*TOR wrote:
    Remake of the Pink Panther with Steve Martin as Clouseau....

    Agree. They cannot replace Peter Sellers. Then again, of all the Pink Panther films, the one I least liked was the one made from out-takes after his death, along with stand-ins shot from the back of their heads or from a distance. Was that "Trail of the Pink Panther"?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,130 Karl Hungus
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    Shamrok wrote:
    The Wicker Man with Nicolas Cage in Edward Woodward's old role..

    Agreed, that is wrong.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 285 shuushh
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    Did anybody look at the credited cast for Postal

    The only confirmed cast member is none other than GARY COLEMAN


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,976 humanji
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    madrab wrote:
    read an article that the games producers are giving him money to make the movies as they know they will flop & under some wierd german law they can get massive tax relief for supporting the "arts" & claim the loss as well

    This is why I like Uwe Boll. The man is a god. His films are horrific, he seems a bit of a twat, but he seems to love making movies, and he makes a packet in the process! If we all had our lives as sorted as this guy, the world would be a happier place!

    (But don't get me wrong, there's a special level of Hell awaiting his arrival!)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,130 Karl Hungus
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    Here's another film that shouldn't be made: One Missed Call


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,667 madrab
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    jomanji wrote:
    This is why I like Uwe Boll. The man is a god. His films are horrific, he seems a bit of a twat, but he seems to love making movies, and he makes a packet in the process! If we all had our lives as sorted as this guy, the world would be a happier place!

    (But don't get me wrong, there's a special level of Hell awaiting his arrival!)
    yeah i remember reading an interview with him on the set of blood rayne where he basically admitted that he wasnt a great director, but loved making movies & getting paid for them lucky bastard


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,497 Nick_oliveri
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    shuushh wrote:
    Did anybody look at the credited cast for Postal

    The only confirmed cast member is none other than GARY COLEMAN

    That would make a person believe that he backed that whole thing in the first place. :D I wonder does the postal character in the noo movie beat him around with a shovel for five minutes, spray petrol on him, burn him to bits and ricochet scissors off walls into his burnt carcus.

    Will it be narrated by a person who thinks its all a bit extreme but at the same time incredibly funny?


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 94,366 Capt'n Midnight
    Mod ✭✭✭✭


    If you haven't seen this then worth a look http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072856/
    David Carradine .... Frankenstein
    Simone Griffeth .... Annie Smith
    Sylvester Stallone .... Machine Gun Joe
    Mary Woronov .... Calamity Jane
    Roberta Collins .... Matilda the Hun
    Martin Kove .... Nero the Hero


    http://www.uk.imdb.com/title/tt0452608
    Pinky http://www.uk.imdb.com/name/nm0027271/ Soldier and a load of turkeys
    & the Brain http://www.uk.imdb.com/name/nm0493369/ Chain Reaction / Under Siege 1,2,3


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 806 Atrocity
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    Shrimp wrote:
    Old boy isn't great, it's trying to be something it's not.

    Oldboy was okay, it dragged a bit and some of it was a bit too 'clever'. But it shouldn't be remade, it wouldn't improve upon it, it's just pointless.

    Ringu being remade into the Ring, well, despite what everyone says, Ringu was no great shakes. It was okay, but so similar to countless Asian horror films. The remake wasn't bad, it was actually better in some places.

    I heard that someone is remaking the Wicker Man. What a stupid idea. The Wicker Man is a film unlike any I've ever seen before. The stories behind cut scenes, parts of the film gone missing, the eerie seventies feel to it, all of these things make the film so unique. What would be the point of remaking it? It's just one of those films that nobody should touch. Like Duel or the Petrified Forest.


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,463 xzanti
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    Iv heard a roumer that Jordan is making a movie of her life story :eek: :confused:

    That shouldnt be done IMO


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,130 Karl Hungus
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    madrab wrote:
    yeah i remember reading an interview with him on the set of blood rayne where he basically admitted that he wasnt a great director, but loved making movies & getting paid for them lucky bastard

    Indeed, but it's not so much that he's lucky, he is infact a genius. I read a few different interviews, and it's quite remarkable when he talks about how he actually gets a film made, how he assembles casts and everything. Terrible director of course, but as a producer, I think there's very few people who can get things done like he can.

    I wish he'd step back as a director, and produce someone else's films. I think he'd do wonders for a director with vision. That said, it's unlikely, as he does have a love of making films, as noted.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,921 Pigman II
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    Not so much a movie but movie related...

    http://www.stomptokyo.com/movies/star-wars-holiday-special.html
    http://www.lucasfan.com/swtv/index2.html

    And to think you moaned about the prequels!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 698 nitrogen
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    Shrimp wrote:
    Old boy isn't great, it's trying to be something it's not.

    You don't find much cinema as good as this!

    But this being remade is just plain wrong!

    Oh, Wicker Park should not have been remade. The orginal title was, L'Appartement: http://www.bbc.co.uk/films/2000/12/05/lappartement_1997_review.shtml


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 590 regeneration
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    RE*AC*TOR wrote:
    Remake of the Pink Panther with Steve Martin as Clouseau....
    *I WIN*

    Hey remember when Steve Martin was funny? Hard to think this is the same man who was in Dead Men Dont Wear Plaid, Man with Two Brains, Parenthood, Dirty Rotten Scoundrals, The Jerk etc...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,976 humanji
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    Pigman II wrote:
    Not so much a movie but movie related...

    http://www.stomptokyo.com/movies/star-wars-holiday-special.html
    http://www.lucasfan.com/swtv/index2.html

    And to think you moaned about the prequels!

    Oh man, I happen to be unlucky to own a copy of the Holiday Special. I still haven't been able to watch it all. It's just too bad!


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