Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Revenge is a dish best served cold...I'll bide my time..

  • 01-12-2006 11:19AM
    #1
    Beetlebum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 837 ✭✭✭Beetlebum


    Oh screw that...I'll just crush him like an ant!! (Simpsons quote)

    Calling all Boardsters with a devious mind...I need to get revenge on my evil flatmate...

    I went out on the p*ss last night after work and stumbled home at about 2am. I always bring a pint glass of water up to bed with me (unless I've scored, in that case I bring a guy) and in my drunken state I dropped in halfway up the stairs. We have wooden floorboards so it made a bit of a noise. Anyway, it woke my flatmate up and he came out of his room and started giving out loads to me. I was wasted and couldn't stop laughing and this annoyed him even further. So I cleaned up the glass while he stood there bitching at me and I went to bed....

    This morning I got awoken at 7.30am by my flatmate throwing a glass of water over me laughing his head off!! One minute I was asleep, the next minute I'm dazed, confused, hungover and wet!! Might I add that he doesn't work so he would've had to set his alarm for the sole purpose of doing that to me. He must have planned it before going to bed!

    We're best friends and I love him to bits but that's taking a joke a step to far in my opinion. I have really long hair too and it got soaked...what a way to wake up, plus I have a really bad hangover and I was late for work (thanks to him). So people, am I over-reacting or would you like to help me seek revenge on this fool!!

    All suggestions welcome, the eviler the better...


«1

Comments

  • #2
    ambro25
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,986 ✭✭✭ambro25


    Just push the water joke a little further... Next time he is hammered (and/or unless he is a deep sleeper), creep by his bed and put his finger(s) in a recipient filled with water. Results garanteed, I've yet to know this one fail :D


  • #3
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Two wrongs don't make a right and to my mind chucking water on some one in bed is bang out of order.

    By a tube of Veet, the hair removal cream.
    Wait until he is asleep and apply some to his eyebrows.
    The tingly stinging feeling when it has been on too long will wake him.
    He will then wash it off and his eyebrows with it.


  • #4
    super_furry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,351 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    You woke him up by being a piss-head, he woke you up with a wet-head. Sounds fair.


  • #5
    super_furry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,351 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    ambro25 wrote:
    Just push the water joke a little further... Next time he is hammered (and/or unless he is a deep sleeper), creep by his bed and put his finger(s) in a recipient filled with water. Results garanteed, I've yet to know this one fail :D

    I've never known it to work. Tried it dozens of times, never worked once.


  • #6
    Beetlebum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 837 ✭✭✭Beetlebum


    Thaedydal wrote:
    Two wrongs don't make a right and to my mind chucking water on some one in bed is bang out of order.

    By a tube of Veet, the hair removal cream.
    Wait until he is asleep and apply some to his eyebrows.
    The tingly stinging feeling when it has been on too long will wake him.
    He will then wash it off and his eyebrows with it.

    I like your style Thaedydal...that or put fake tan all over his face, the kind that doesn't wash off for a week...that'll learn him...


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    petes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    super_furry wrote:
    I've never known it to work. Tried it dozens of times, never worked once.


    Did you use warm water?


  • #8
    magick
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,478 ✭✭✭magick


    just be thankful he didnt tea bag u , on the other hand if hes not working u could ring the dole office and say hes been working and getting the dole.


    either that or say u got a call from his dad and that his mother suddenly died


  • #9
    super_furry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,351 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    petes wrote:
    Did you use warm water?

    Yep. Just assumed it to be an urban myth.


  • #10
    MOTHERTRUCKER
    Closed Accounts Posts: 125 ✭✭MOTHERTRUCKER


    Try the old eye drops in a pot of tea before he's heading out for the day.
    Run the guts out of him.

    Or empty out half his shampoo and fill it with veet. Every time he has a shower he'll notice his hair is falling out.

    Report his car stolen (If he has one)

    Post him a letter, that you have created letting on he is the perfect candidate for a position in a big company. Give the salary at about E50,000
    per annum and tell him to come in for an interview. Send him to the headoffice of the company. You'll hear him brag about this perfect job thats come up for ages. Then you'll have the last laugh.


  • #11
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Thaedydal wrote:
    Two wrongs don't make a right and to my mind chucking water on some one in bed is bang out of order.

    By a tube of Veet, the hair removal cream.
    Wait until he is asleep and apply some to his eyebrows.
    The tingly stinging feeling when it has been on too long will wake him.
    He will then wash it off and his eyebrows with it.

    Wow ...

    ... remind me never to get on your bad side.


  • Advertisement
  • #12
    Siogfinsceal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,915 ✭✭✭Siogfinsceal


    go on google and type 'request call back' and tick pages from ireland. results is lots of websites of companys where you can request a call - fill in his name and number. Works a treat one of my mates was stuck talking to a guy about solar panels for ages!
    oh and you can always place an add in buy and sell for a quick sales wanted for a great car and list his number!


  • #13
    Marc Colossal Yearbook
    Posts: 0 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Marc Colossal Yearbook


    if he has to go anywhere in a rush in the next while, throw water all over all his clothes (while theyre hanging up/in drawers) so he'll be late too
    ALL of them


  • #14
    Beetlebum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 837 ✭✭✭Beetlebum


    I was thinking of getting a couple of gay porn mags and leaving them under his bed for his girlfriend to find...too far?


  • #15
    tbh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    every day, add an inch of cardboard to the bottom of your shoes. Then after a week tell him you think he's shrinking.


  • #16
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Get some oily fish, mackerl is best.

    There are two options here

    a) pierce the packet and hide it in his room, under the bed , twixt base and matteress, back of wardobe and wait.

    b) just use the oil of the fish, tinned pack in oil mackerel is best for this,
    smear some of the oil on the back of the radiator in his room, the lining of his curtains and dip two oppsite corners of his duvet in it as well, a few drops on the matteress where is pillow will go, if he wears runners a few drops in there too. The contents of one small tin of oil packed mackerel can go along long way.


  • #17
    User45701
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,905 ✭✭✭User45701


    ye but once she finds out the truth they have "great make up sex"

    why not do something that does not cause massive damage but is also funny and humiliating, shave his eyebrow (only one of them) next time he is asleep, i know its a old one but it works well.

    I suppose you could also just ask him "what is your problem you lazy **** people who do not have to be awake in the morning don't get to complain about being woken up"

    when i was up at 5am i would go to sleep around 9 or 10 but then a few times id be woken up around 3/4am by people coming back from town laughing and making a large amount of noise, im allowed to be annoyed at that cause i was due up at 5am on a weekday


  • #18
    Fanny Cradock
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,240 ✭✭✭✭Fanny Cradock


    Mercy, hell hath no fury...

    Flaming bag of poo outside his bedroom door. He'll never suspect you. This is how wars start. Maybe you should let it go.


  • #19
    humanji
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,976 ✭✭✭✭humanji


    Beetlebum wrote:
    I was thinking of getting a couple of gay porn mags and leaving them under his bed for his girlfriend to find...too far?

    Go one better. Get some random body parts from your local cemetary and hide them under his bed.


  • #20
    Beetlebum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 837 ✭✭✭Beetlebum


    Some great ideas there, wouldn't wanna get on the wrong side of most of the people here!

    The thing that really annoys me is that I rang him at 1.30 and he was only getting outta bed. He knew I was wasted last night so he knew my head would be sore this morning. F*cking water over me at 7.30 and laughing is just waaaaaaay overstepping the line in my book.

    I don't wanna do anything too bad but I've gotta do something or he'll be one up and I can't have that...


  • #21
    KamiKazi
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 6,195 ✭✭✭KamiKazi


    next time hes on his way out with the lads, offer to make him a cup of tea, but spike it with viagra :D:D

    just make sure he doesnt have a heart condition :eek:


  • Advertisement
  • #22
    Peteee
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 2,432 Mod ✭✭✭✭Peteee


    Think I saw this one on here a while ago.

    Take some of that powdered milk that babies drink, and spread it on his bed. When he goes to sleep, it will mix into his pores, and within 2-3 days will start to go off inside him, creating an unimaginable stink. Apparently showers dont do anything, and it takes about 2 weeks to go away.

    I have no idea if this works or not!


  • #23
    gandalf
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,458 ✭✭✭✭gandalf


    TBH I think he was entitled to wake you up as you woke him up. The water was a bit ott but bear in mind, he now thinks you are quits. You plan another assault then there will be a reaction back from him (unless you top him!!).


  • #24
    Mossy Monk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 28,128 ✭✭✭✭Mossy Monk


    you shouldnt be a loud piss head at 2 in the morning


  • #25
    Beetlebum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 837 ✭✭✭Beetlebum


    Gimme a break, I wasn't being loud on purpose.I dropped a glass of water, that could've happened drunk or sober! Also, he's woken me up loadsa times when he's come home wasted...


  • #26
    gucci
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,296 ✭✭✭gucci


    use all your free webtexts on vodafone or whatever to send him a really annoyin message,can be quite annoying to have to delete 300msgs + off your fone, trust me its been done to me in the past, or shcedule them to arrive every hour etc


  • #27
    monkeyfudge
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,216 ✭✭✭✭monkeyfudge


    How about cling film on the toilet bowl?


  • #28
    Package
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,322 ✭✭✭Package


    get another friend to ring up a few of the numbers in the gay sexy section in the buy and sell or something. leave his name and number,. he will start getting call backs. i do it on all my friends that piss me off.


  • #29
    Package
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,322 ✭✭✭Package


    divert your phone number to his.... then send all your phoneboxx a message saying. "call me right away, its very important" . countless phone calls later , he will be pretty peeved


  • #30
    ekevosu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 987 ✭✭✭ekevosu


    Beetlebum wrote:
    Gimme a break, I wasn't being loud on purpose.I dropped a glass of water, that could've happened drunk or sober! Also, he's woken me up loadsa times when he's come home wasted...

    I've been woken and woken up my housemates on several occassions, doesn't really bother me to be woken cause you can usually just fall straight asleep again. Quick question though, if he woke you up with the water at 7.30 or whatever time it was, would that not have made you on time for work, an extra alarm clock of sorts?


  • Advertisement
  • #31
    Beetlebum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 837 ✭✭✭Beetlebum


    ekevosu wrote:
    I've been woken and woken up my housemates on several occassions, doesn't really bother me to be woken cause you can usually just fall straight asleep again. Quick question though, if he woke you up with the water at 7.30 or whatever time it was, would that not have made you on time for work, an extra alarm clock of sorts?

    No cause I'm a chick and my hair is long and got all wet so I'd to dry it. Plus I was really hungover so I was moving in slow motion...


  • #32
    r3nu4l
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,400 ✭✭✭✭r3nu4l


    Just print up a few business cards with his name and number on them.

    Add a little tag line like..."I've been a naughty boy, spank me' or 'Bored and lonely, man wants man for chats and maybe more'

    Place in random toilet cubicles across town you live in.

    Enjoy the look on his face every time his phone rings :D

    @Thaedydal - brilliant, just brilliant, right before he moved out a friend of mine did similar to a really bad landlord with mince meat and egg mixed together. Placed it under the carpet, down the back and sides of the couch, in curtain hems, airing cupboard...I didn't approve of that simply because it was criminal damage in a real dispute rather than a prank on a friend.


  • #33
    Rb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    Mossy Monk wrote:
    you shouldnt be a loud piss head at 2 in the morning
    Exactly.


  • #34
    Heisenberg.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,541 ✭✭✭Heisenberg.


    This post has been deleted.


  • #35
    Feral Mutant
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 950 ✭✭✭Feral Mutant


    While he sleeps, shave off his eyebrows then superglue them back on but slightly higher so he looks permenantly surprised.


  • #36
    Our man in Havana
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,472 ✭✭✭✭Our man in Havana


    The smelly fish is a great one. Stick a raw mackeral in the space behind the bath. Leave for 3 weeks, job done. They won't have a clue what has happened.
    This is particulary effective if they are trying to sell a house. Pose as a buyer and ask to use the loo and then unleash the fishy goodness. :D


  • Advertisement
  • #37
    Dylan_James
    Closed Accounts Posts: 157 ✭✭Dylan_James


    Give him a Hitler when hes a sleep.


  • #38
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,829 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Short-sheet his bed
    Whipped cream in his shaving mug
    Stuff paper in the toes of his shoes
    Strongly perfume all his clean boxer shorts


  • #39
    Ciaran500
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,225 ✭✭✭Ciaran500


    Thaedydal wrote:
    Two wrongs don't make a right and to my mind chucking water on some one in bed is bang out of order.

    By a tube of Veet, the hair removal cream.
    Wait until he is asleep and apply some to his eyebrows.
    The tingly stinging feeling when it has been on too long will wake him.
    He will then wash it off and his eyebrows with it.
    Getting someone wet is out of order, but removing someone's eyebrows as revenge isn't o_O


  • #40
    Duff
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,563 ✭✭✭Duff


    Siogfinsceal wrote:
    go on google and type 'request call back' and tick pages from ireland. results is lots of websites of companys where you can request a call - fill in his name and number. Works a treat one of my mates was stuck talking to a guy about solar panels for ages!
    oh and you can always place an add in buy and sell for a quick sales wanted for a great car and list his number!


    Haha thats genius, I just sined my mate up for it..should be gettin a call tommorrow between 1-4:D :D


  • #41
    Lust4Life
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    Ha! But if you remove his eyebrows he'll look like he's always ready to ask a question!:D

    Does that REALLY work dipping a sleeping person's hand in warm water? Or is it just an old wives tale? I've never really had a worthy victim to try it on.


  • Advertisement
  • #42
    Chucky the tree
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,341 ✭✭✭✭Chucky the tree


    buy a load of cocaine, hide it in his room and then call the cops.



    Your the winner.


  • #43
    Lust4Life
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    shave off his chest hairs while he's sleeping?


  • #44
    Thrill
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,485 ✭✭✭Thrill


    Stick a wasp or two into his boxers.....

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055022197


  • #45
    Pighead
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,184 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    Make love to the fcuker every single night for a month. Get really into it and act enthusiastically as he prances around the room in the buff.

    When the months over, whisper into his ear (make sure to whisper as it would be plain mean if you let anybody else hear) "You were good, but you were not brilliant". That will show the cheeky fcuker.


  • #46
    Mr. Presentable
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,495 ✭✭✭Mr. Presentable


    Some sachets of mayo, ketchup etc, between the toilet seat and rim. Next time he sits down for a "relax" he'll fill his trousers :D:D:D


  • #47
    damnyanks
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,276 ✭✭✭damnyanks


    You woke him up at 2 in the morning and admit to pissing him off. How is he meant to know wet long hair is an issue


  • #48
    RoadSweeper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,513 ✭✭✭RoadSweeper


    fill the cups in the cupord with water, he'll soak himself every time.


    Buy a pigs head from a butchers. fx buckley on moore st does them for a fiver. have it in his bed to wake up to :)


  • #49
    Takeshi_Kovacs
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,115 ✭✭✭Takeshi_Kovacs


    Thaedydal wrote:
    Get some oily fish, mackerl is best.

    There are two options here

    a) pierce the packet and hide it in his room, under the bed , twixt base and matteress, back of wardobe and wait.

    b) just use the oil of the fish, tinned pack in oil mackerel is best for this,
    smear some of the oil on the back of the radiator in his room, the lining of his curtains and dip two oppsite corners of his duvet in it as well, a few drops on the matteress where is pillow will go, if he wears runners a few drops in there too. The contents of one small tin of oil packed mackerel can go along long way.

    Did that to a few lads living down the street that i went to college.. Nearly pissed myself laughing everytime i went up to their house and enquiring what the odd smell was, as it got worse with every passing days... eventually the lads copped it when one of them woke up in the morning to find a few maggots spilling out of the mattress.... harsh i know, but very funny..


  • #50
    Canis Lupus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,880 ✭✭✭Canis Lupus


    Wait till he is asleep then put a pillow over his face and hold it there till he stops moving.


  • #51
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 94,366 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Thaedydal wrote:
    By a tube of Veet, the hair removal cream.
    Wait until he is asleep and apply some to his eyebrows.
    The tingly stinging feeling when it has been on too long will wake him.
    He will then wash it off and his eyebrows with it.
    slight change - just do it to one eyebrow

    The victim has then to agonise over shaving the other one to match ;)

    How about a readers digest subscription, junk mail for years.
    actually if you know their email address you can sign them up for loads of stuff.


  • Advertisement
Advertisement