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do i have a drinking problem???

  • 05-04-2007 04:36PM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi everyone,

    please help....maybe i already know the answer if im posting a thread about it but here goes...

    im 21 years of age and about 6 months ago the worst thing that could possibly happen to me happended, involving my drink being spiked and 2 guys. i dont remember the night but i remember waking the following morning knowing what had happened me.

    i wasnt a massive drinker up until then, maybe just at weekends but since then i canno relax, im afraid to think and i find myself drinking more and more that it has turned from every weekend to every night with maybe a night off every now and again. not that i get completely drunk every night but 4 nights out of 7 yes i do.

    after what happened me i spoke about it with a few people and have come to the conclusion that it is an event in my life that i cannot change, have to accept that it happened and move on. mind you i was so messed up for so long i couldnt even get out of bed and when i finally did i felt so much better and wanted to go out with friends as much as i could. but im finding that im drinking more and more and dont seem to want to stop. and its always so easy to find someone to come with me every time.

    im getting so bad that i started to lie to people about where i am and face a constant hangover every morning at work. but all i want to do is go back to the pub every night after work......is there something wrong with me???


Comments

  • #2
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    I think that you should try and cut out the drinking and talk to your dr and see about getting some couselling.

    It is your life and you are in charge of it and can gain control of it again.
    The drinking is syspthom of what happned to you please get help.


  • #3
    scottya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16 ✭scottya


    The question you need to ask yourself is that is it affecting loved ones in your life? or affecting work, relationships, your life? Because if you find that you are turning up late for work, or calling in sick, or that you are blanking your friends because of the the drink then it definetly is a problem.


  • #4
    chump
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,807 ✭✭✭chump


    It's obviously affecting you - and you probably know well yourself that you have issues and need to resolve them.

    The question is how?
    Do you need to talk things out? - Speak to a counsellor.
    Do you need to make a change that might snap you back into yourself?


    Ultimately I think you need to actually use some self restraint/control and cut down on the booze, take up some activity that helps you not get bored, talk to a friend/professional, and maybe help out at some charity to give you some perspective.


  • #5
    barrett1965
    Closed Accounts Posts: 178 ✭✭barrett1965


    No-one can decide if you have a drink problem except yourself. I gave the sauce up over fifteen years ago after my first blackout (this is when you can't remember all or parts of the previous night). I am not suggesting you give it up totally, like I did, but certainly consider moderating and perhaps some counselling as mentioned above. I know from personal experience that problems with alcohol tend to get worse as you continue to drink, unless you try to deal with the problem. I graduated from a Friday-night drinker to drinking almost every night!

    Despite my negative post, there is hope, as has been my experience.


  • #6
    Shellie13
    Closed Accounts Posts: 346 ✭✭Shellie13


    when you start drinking to forget a problem drink becomes the problem.

    However bad that was for you, you still have the rest of your life to live and enjoy and getting caut up in an addition is just going to derail that!
    are you going to let evil ****ers like that ruin the rest of your life?!
    i would definately advise some councilling and so go out n enjoy yourself n forget your problems- you don't need drink to do that just keep remindin yourself that!


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  • #7
    Jo King
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,139 ✭✭✭Jo King


    Moderate drinking is defined as two or three drinks, two or three times a week. That is four to nine drinks. Heavy drinking is four to five drinks four or five times a week. That is sixteen to twenty five drinks. Of course you have a problem. Prolonged heavy drinking leads to dependency. It can take a man six or more years to develop a dependency, a woman as little as one to two years. The consequences of prolonged heavy drinking can be catastrophic. There can be financial meltdown, career disruption, isolation from friends and family and health problems.My family has had alcoholics for generations, problems caused by one are still continuing more that thirty years after his death. Many people have slithered towards the brink and brought themselves back. It is not easy but it can be done. Help is available. It is not something to procrastinate over. There is no knowing when irreparable damage may be caused.


  • #8
    Esel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,712 ✭✭✭✭Esel
    Not Your Ornery Onager


    You know you have a problem. Talk to your doctor. If you don't have one, try to find one by asking someone whose advice you trust (you don't have to tell that person why you need a doctor, or you can make up a plausible story). Maybe a female doctor might be better in this situation - you will be able to open up to them more easily, and they may be more sympathetic and understanding).

    Ask the doctor for a referral to a professional counsellor or therapist, make an appointment and follow through. You need to deal with this issue now.

    If you continue as you are, things will get a lot worse, believe me.

    Do it now. Good luck.

    Not your ornery onager



  • #9
    biko
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,219 ✭✭✭✭biko


    This sounds like after shock from a rape in my opinion.
    Has your feelings of self worth decreased? Thoughts of suicide?

    I think the issue here is not your drinking, it's the rape that caused the drinking in the first place.

    Anyway, you need to speak to a professional who can help you best.
    Either check the sticky links for rape centres or PM a mod for phone numbers.

    Best of luck to you! Hopefully you can power through this and feel better about yourself soon!


  • #10
    Cancer-chick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 147 ✭✭Cancer-chick


    What happened to you was terrible OP but you shouldnt let it destroy rest of your life ..

    Talk to a counsellor/therapist .. It is the only environment where you will be able to fully explore your memories safely and hopefully be able to move on ..
    But getting pi**ed every night is not going to help u .. You are just trying to run from your trauma and you cant..

    For what its worth you will get thru it but you need to accept some things are too huge to deal with and we all need help in our lives at some point ..

    I wish you well girl


  • #11
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    thanks for all the replies guys,

    you are right that its because of what happened that is doing this to me. its just i dont feel comfortable talking to someone who doesnt know me about it. its like i feel like i know what they are going to say to me before i even in there...thats its my life and im the only person who can make it what i want and what happened is not my fault etc etc.....

    i know im a very strong girl...i know what i want to be in a few years and alot of the time i think i can get there gradually, im just finding it very hard to trust anyone enough to let them know how im really feeling and im worried if i do tell them then it will upset them and knwing that i have done that will make me feel worse ya know......

    ill need to make up my mind about talking to my doctor....but wont thay just say ''aww thats awful, im so sorry, heres a number for a really nice and trustworthy councellor''...i go to them and they just give me the big story about turning it into a positive thing that i can learn from and move on and that drinking is just an escape mechanism.....its just i know i have the answers but i think i just need a little help getting there as im afaid i wont succeed,,,,,but i will try.

    thank you very much for your replies x


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  • #12
    Victor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,655 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    littlewino wrote:
    you are right that its because of what happened that is doing this to me. its just i dont feel comfortable talking to someone who doesnt know me about it.
    Actually, this can be quite easy. The counsellor doesn't know you and can't share your secretes with those around you. Your secrets are safe.

    Then when you are strong enough, you can think about discussing it in a group.


  • #13
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    littlewino wrote:
    thanks for all the replies guys,

    you are right that its because of what happened that is doing this to me. its just i dont feel comfortable talking to someone who doesnt know me about it. its like i feel like i know what they are going to say to me before i even in there...thats its my life and im the only person who can make it what i want and what happened is not my fault etc etc.....

    Actually they will listen to you as you talk about what is happening to you in your life. Sometimes talking to someone who doesn't know you can be a wonderful thing there are no judgements they dont' expect you to be a certain way and you don't have to worry about them telling other people or treating you differently when you see them again.
    littlewino wrote:
    i know im a very strong girl...i know what i want to be in a few years and alot of the time i think i can get there gradually, im just finding it very hard to trust anyone enough to let them know how im really feeling and im worried if i do tell them then it will upset them and knwing that i have done that will make me feel worse ya know......

    Again why seeing a counsellor will be helpful.
    littlewino wrote:
    ill need to make up my mind about talking to my doctor....but wont thay just say ''aww thats awful, im so sorry, heres a number for a really nice and trustworthy councellor''

    Well you don't have to go to your dr you could get in touch with one of the rape crises centres and as for a referal to a counsellor, despite the name they deal with people who have been through all sorts of sexual assulat and abuse.
    littlewino wrote:
    ...i go to them and they just give me the big story about turning it into a positive thing that i can learn from and move on and that

    That is not what happens in the couselling process, it is all about you and your process and you being able to talk about and confront what happen and all the crazy mixed up emotional stuff that goes with that.
    littlewino wrote:
    drinking is just an escape mechanism.....

    Yes and where will you escape to ?
    John of gods or the nearest physc ward to you when you collaspe and have a break down ? I have seen happen with a family member don't let things go that far, get help.

    littlewino wrote:
    its just i know i have the answers but i think i just need a little help getting there as im afaid i wont succeed,,,,,but i will try.

    Things is you can Logically know all the answers and how to go about something but a lot of this is not about logic as what happened to you was illogical and not something you can rationalise you have to experience the emotional side of what happened and what is happening to you and currently you are drinking to numb yourself.

    There is nothing wrong with getting help, it means that you are strong and sensible enough to do it.

    If you had been knocked down by a car and broke your leg would you try and carry on as if nothing had happened and drink to numb the pain ?


  • #14
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    i know....,im just looking for reasons not to go and act like im in control so i dont have to go...i know i do. thanks.

    im just so scared all the time......

    thanks.i will get help.


  • #15
    Cancer-chick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 147 ✭✭Cancer-chick


    Thaedydal is right OP

    You would get help if your leg broke ..

    Well something has been hurt in you and like i said before some things are just too big for one person to deal with alone..

    The men who did that to you are evil. You are a good person who deserves a long and happy life .. getting help will put u back on track for that .. I cant tell you that you will be perfectly ok because u never will .. But u will hopefully slowly make your way back from where u are and find joy in yourself and your life again .

    For what it is worth i saw my best friend in the world go thru almost exactly the same thing as you.. It was a long time ago and she took her time asking for help.. by the time she did she was big time into coke and a lot of her friends had fallen by the wayside .. she is married with 2 kids now and it did take her a long time to make peace with it but she did ..

    Good luck and i hope u find peace too

    B


  • #16
    Sam Vimes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,611 ✭✭✭✭Sam Vimes


    littlewino wrote:
    involving my drink being spiked and 2 guys
    can i ask, did you get tested to prove that your drink was spiked or did you assume because you can't remember?

    i ask because i was listening to the radio a few months ago and a woman who works in a rape crisis centre or something similar said she sees dozens of people each month who say they were spiked but tests showed that only one or two have been in her time working there.

    as she said, the most common date rape drug is alcohol


  • #17
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    This thread will not get into the debate about date rape drugs,
    anyone trying to do that will be banned for unhelpful posting.

    Adding more alchol to a drink making it a double or a tripple or adding a shot to a pint with out the persons knownledge is also spiking thier drink.


  • #18
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    yes i was tested the following day as i am aware that it can leave your system after 24 hours....

    i did it for confirmation if i was going to go further with it. but i knew already it had been, i had only had the one drink.

    thanks B.... i feel alot better and more positive after your comment
    .


  • #19
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,361 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    littlewino wrote:
    im just so scared all the time.......

    And that's why it's so very important that you get professional help, they will help you live with this and give you the skills to cope.
    You owe this to yourself, you have a life in front of you, you must do everything in your power to make it happy and fullfilling. Getting help now ensures your future and you deserve to be a happy person once again.
    Get yourself the help you need.


  • #20
    Cancer-chick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 147 ✭✭Cancer-chick


    no worries op :)

    please take care of yourself


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