How much for wedding gift?

loodles · 04-07-2007 09:15PM #1

A friend of mine is getting married in 2 weeks and I am unsure about how much to give? Whats the norm?

danyosan · 05-07-2007 06:03AM

loodles wrote:

A friend of mine is getting married in 2 weeks and I am unsure about how much to give? Whats the norm?

I think the going rate is €100-150.

Mr Magnolia · 05-07-2007 06:17AM

Is the missus going too? How close are you? (you and the groom/bride, not you and the missus) What is your budget?

folkface · 05-07-2007 06:35AM

IMO the going rate is E200. per couple.

My sister got married last year and they kept a diary of every present they got and from whom. She reckoned the least she got was E150 but was far and few between. Everyone more or less gave E200 or more.

If you think about it, the meal alone is costing the bride and groom E55-E60
per head and then theres the wine and the cake and afters snacks.
I think it would be insulting to give less than E200.
Sure its probably costing the bride and groom at least E130 per couple to have you there in the first place, so that leaves a total of a E70 present.

But saying all that, just give what you can afford, or buy a lovely present thats hard to put a price on.

There is nothing worse than people begrudging you inviting them to your wedding because they feel pressured into keeping up with the Jone's.

JoeyJJ · 05-07-2007 09:24AM

E200 per couple would be about right, thats what I usually give. Not sure how much to expect when i get married in a few months but not doing it for the money so not going to worry about it.

danyosan · 05-07-2007 11:44AM

folkface wrote:

IMO the going rate is E200. per couple.

My sister got married last year and they kept a diary of every present they got and from whom. She reckoned the least she got was E150 but was far and few between. Everyone more or less gave E200 or more.

If you think about it, the meal alone is costing the bride and groom E55-E60
per head and then theres the wine and the cake and afters snacks.
I think it would be insulting to give less than E200.
Sure its probably costing the bride and groom at least E130 per couple to have you there in the first place, so that leaves a total of a E70 present.

But saying all that, just give what you can afford, or buy a lovely present thats hard to put a price on.

There is nothing worse than people begrudging you inviting them to your wedding because they feel pressured into keeping up with the Jone's.

Actually I meant per person as well.

loodles · 05-07-2007 12:40PM

Yeah both going. I was thinking €200 alright. Thanks guys, haven't been to a wedding in a few years so wasn't sure!

neacy69 · 05-07-2007 12:43PM

JoeyJJ wrote:

E200 per couple would be about right, thats what I usually give. Not sure how much to expect when i get married in a few months but not doing it for the money so not going to worry about it.

Yeah €200 is the going rate per couple for a wedding
was at one last weekend and thats what we gave

Mr Magnolia · 05-07-2007 12:46PM

OP didn't answer my questions

*sniffs*

loodles · 05-07-2007 08:55PM

Sorry Mr Magnolia! Yes the Mr is going! Good friends but not really close. Worked with her a few yrs ago and we now meet up once every couple of months. Don't have a budget as such but can stretch to €200. That would be my max tho!

Mr Magnolia · 06-07-2007 05:58AM

€200 sounds good so. Enjoy the day out

Eoin · 06-07-2007 12:44PM

folkface wrote:

Sure its probably costing the bride and groom at least E130 per couple to have you there in the first place, so that leaves a total of a E70 present.

I disagree - it's a present of €200 - they are guests of yours. In general I think €150 is generous enough, I don't subscribe to this whole mathematical formula idea.

Remember that in a lot of cases, your guests will also be stumping out for a hotel, which can easily be another €150.

babskildare · 08-07-2007 10:00PM

i think 150 to 200 is the norm, my friends got married 2 months ago & thats what the told me norm was so if you're not that close & budget is tight i'd tend to go for 150 or maybe 175?

stovelid · 09-07-2007 09:42AM

We usually give 150-200 total although I would give more for a close friend or family.

jor el · 10-07-2007 10:27PM

folkface wrote:

If you think about it, the meal alone is costing the bride and groom E55-E60 per head and then theres the wine and the cake and afters snacks. I think it would be insulting to give less than E200.
Sure its probably costing the bride and groom at least E130 per couple to have you there in the first place, so that leaves a total of a E70 present.

I don't subscribe to this idea that you must somehow cover the cost to the couple inviting you to their wedding. You are a quest and are being invited because they want you there and not because they want to make a profit off you.

My brother is getting married later in the year and before I give them anything at all their wedding is going to cost me over €300. My sister and her family are going and they reckon the weekend is going to cost over €500 before a gift. If they're insulted by me giving them less than €200 then I really wouldn't give a sh1t.

Aishling · 12-08-2007 09:35PM

OMG €200!! Jebus. Any wedding myself and himself have been to we have given €100 and I think that is enough. We are getting married next year and while gifts (cash especially) would be v. very welcome I would never dream of assuming that someone (couple or single person) would give us as much as 150/€200 - or of asking for cash on the invitation, shudder.

We are having the wedding we want and that we can afford and it really p#sses me off to hear about this notion of having to cover your plate:rolleyes: . Nobody forced the bride and groom to spend what they do on their wedding, its their choice.

Figment · 12-08-2007 10:42PM

A recent UK survey:

The average price of a present is £43, with 46% of people saying they spend more on gifts than two years ago.

Scots are the most generous when it comes to wedding gifts, splashing out just under £50.

But UK Northerners are the most stingy, spending just over £40.

When the gift is for a close family member or best friend the amount spent rises to £70.

On the other hand, a fairly obscure acquaintance or colleague can expect to receive a gift worth only £23.

And despite the volume of money flying around there is still room for jealously, as 17% of people think they spend more on others than is spent on them.

Hope that helps.

Mr Magnolia · 13-08-2007 06:26AM

Don't get stressed about it Aishling. Give what you think is an acceptable amount or buy a heart-felt gift.

Good luck with the big day next year.

sunny2004 · 13-08-2007 08:40AM

200 minimum !!!!!!

dont be insulting by giving any less !

shapez · 13-08-2007 11:36AM

I my personal opinion I think it is absolutely ridiciulous that people should feel pressureised into a "going rate" of wedding gift amount.

We are plannign our wedding for next year. We will be planning it under the notion that we are not receiving any gifts whatsoever!! If people wish to give something, we will be extremely grateful. But, we will not be looking for anything or "expecting" anything.

This "going rate" thing really bothers me. Not everyone can afford the "going rate"!!!

13-08-2007 04:28PM

Maybe if less than 200 is "insulting" people should start issuing tickets instead of invitations to weddings.

Add up the cost for a guest:
Frock - 100
Drinks - 100, more if you want to buy a few rounds for the wedding party
Hotel accomodation - 150
'Going rate' gift - 200

550 quid as a 'guest'. I can afford it, super, but the likes of my parents and lots of others can't.
If a couple want to spend 30,000 on their big day, fair play. If they expect people to 'cover their cost' - get a grip.

hunnymonster · 13-08-2007 05:08PM

Favourite slave, I think you're being conservative with the cost of the forck there, not to mention the shoes, bag and if you want a hairdresser. Also travel costs if the wedding is not on your doorstep.

DO0GLE · 20-08-2007 01:08PM

Don't forget the stag/hen holiday abroad!!!

CathyMoran · 20-08-2007 01:31PM

We did not expect any gifts, ours was just a small wedding about the two of us being in love, in the end we got very good gifts from some people (a car from my husband's parents) and gifts from people who were not at the wedding but they were a suprise bonus and we were not banking on them.

Femelade · 21-08-2007 04:06PM

I'm going to a friends wedding next month. We used to be really close but now we are just good friends. Me and my boyfriend will be putting €100 each into the card, (as we did for his friends wedding in april) I'm broke and cant really afford it, but she's my good friend so i will put it in, Its costing us €297 for one room in the hotel for one night ....eeks! bought my dress on ebay for €30 so, at least that cut down some costs anyway..

Amz · 12-11-2007 05:21PM

Presumably, if one is only invited to the afters of a wedding the gift given wouldn't be the same as if you were going for the whole day?

Eoin · 12-11-2007 05:48PM

Amz wrote: »

Presumably, if one is only invited to the afters of a wedding the gift given wouldn't be the same as if you were going for the whole day?

That's the norm alright.

Flymask · 13-11-2007 09:40AM

Is the 'going rate' - God, I hate that term! - affected by whether or not you are related to the bride or groom, as opposed to being a friend, work colleague etc? My partner & I are going to my partner's niece's wedding next month and we aren't sure of the protocol as we are/were more accustomed to going to weddings when actual gifts were considered appropriate!

We were at a wedding earlier this year and gave Euro200 as a present. However, the bride was not as closely related as a niece. We don't want to appear stingy, but as the wedding is in New York we are already spending a small fortune just to attend it at all, so funds are a bit tight.

Help!! Please!!

Eoin · 13-11-2007 09:48AM

Flymask wrote: »

Is the 'going rate' - God, I hate that term! - affected by whether or not you are related to the bride or groom, as opposed to being a friend, work colleague etc? My partner & I are going to my partner's niece's wedding next month and we aren't sure of the protocol as we are/were more accustomed to going to weddings when actual gifts were considered appropriate!

We were at a wedding earlier this year and gave Euro200 as a present. However, the bride was not as closely related as a niece. We don't want to appear stingy, but as the wedding is in New York we are already spending a small fortune just to attend it at all, so funds are a bit tight.

Help!! Please!!

I'd say most people may be inclined to give more if they know the couple very well, or are related to them. You're already making the effort to go all the way to NY, so don't be too concerned about it.

How much for wedding gift?

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