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Girlfriend Issues and college

  • 02-04-2008 10:36PM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys regular poster going unreg for this.

    I am with my girlfriend for three years now an I am in my final year in college and she works. College has been very difficult and has meant i have been very busy with it since september. Since then me and the girlfriend have been fighting more. Just little snappy arguments but not used to this as we are not usually like this. It seems that in the last while more pressure is being put on me by her to commit to certain things such as long term travel and holiday. Both i want to do but dont even want to think of until a few months after college as I have enough to stress about at the moment. I was looking forward to finishing college but then there are plans to go on holidays and travel for some months which I dont have money for and would need to get working straight away to save.

    It just feels that at the moment not having a girlfriend would be a lot easier. I just dont feel I have the time at the moment to devote the time necessary to have a good relationship. My college course is tough and demands much of my attention at the moment as its coming to the end and deadlines and study are taking over.

    She loves me to bits and i love her too but I have to focus on college at the moment to finish college. I dont know whether I should tell her that we need a break for a couple of months but this would destroy her and I dont know what id be like tbh. I dont want to hurt her as I do care.

    Any advice would be great and thanks for reading!


Comments

  • #2
    humanji
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,976 ✭✭✭✭humanji


    Why not just tell her that you're too stressed to be thinking about long term plans?


  • #3
    astraboy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,034 ✭✭✭astraboy


    Firstly, maybe you should just sit her down and explain to her the stress of college at the moment. I'm in there right now, deadlines, projects and exams looming, and I'm lucky in that my girlfriend is in the same position and we are very understanding. We only see each other when we can. You need to maybe take a step back until your exams are over. Explain that this is your degree and very very important, and that once this is over you can spens more time with her and save to go travelling etc.

    If she really loves you she will understand, and will want you to do well in college as it effects your future, and ultimetly hers if ye stay together. This sounds nasty but put college first until your exams are over(probably only 6-8 weeks!?) and then you can get things back on track. Honestly, if she kicks up a fuss she is being selfish and not thinking of you or your education or future.


  • #4
    AngryBadger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,251 ✭✭✭AngryBadger


    To be frank finishing college is more improtant than planning for the summer. And that's not just for you, it's for both of you.

    Finish college and you have your degree, you can go off and get a job, and then in the ensuing years of financial excess you can holiday all you want.

    Fail to finish college and you could be looking at repeats in then summer, or even repeating your final year.

    Your girlfriend is way out of line in my view. Maybe she feels threatened that college is coming to an end and maybe when you head out into the big bad world you won't want to be with her.

    To be frank, that's tough for her, but c'est la vie.

    In your shoes I'd make it clear that you have enough pressure on you with exams, and you don't want to hear another word about holidays or anything else until your finished your final year. And if she can't deal with that then I'd show her the door.

    Think about it, if she turns out to be unwilling to back off while you finish your exams, how is she going to react later if you have to go abroad for a job, or when it comes to making any important decisions where you don't see eye to eye.


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