How do you deal with Teenage Troublemakers

Heya Op. That's a horrible experience you've had here in Ireland. It makes me very sad to read such stories.

I'm about the same height as you, I'm very small too and am an easy target for such scumbags. You actually can help yourself in this situation though. Of course you're scared, nobody likes being confronted this way and the fact that you've been physically attacked is certainly going to have you shaken. Watch how you respond to these people though. Often, if a person is loud and confident, fools like the ones descirbed above are more apprehensive about bothering you. Watch your body language too. As soon as they begin to taunt you, face them straight on, look at them and try to difuse the situation.

This happened to me recently, with two traveller girls. I was actually working at the time so there was little I could do so I made the best of a bad situation. They were shouting in my face, threatening me etc, I faced them both straight on and pretended I'd misheard what they said I asked them to repeat what they'd said, gave them a huge smile and looked them straight in the eye. The first girl smiled back and started to walk away, gave me a wave and all. The second one started walking backways, still mouthing off but visibly blushing. I'd completely diffused the situation and when they seen I wasn't scared OR defensive towards them, they hadn't a clue how to react.

I'm not saying this is foolproof. Obviously I was lucky but I'm faced with situations where I'm confronted every single day (nature of my job sadly) by scumbags, junkies, drunks etc.. Sometimes the best solution is to just be brave, don't be aggressive, don't get defensive. They behave this way in order to get a reaction, preferably a frightened or intimidated one. If you find yourself in another situation like this, keep your head up. If one of them speaks to you, hold eye contact and answer as calmly as you can. Smile BEFORE the threats come. They don't have a clue what to do.

I probably sound crazy but if you're faced with a threat and you can't run away, best thing to do is try and diffuse it. So watch how you look at them, watch your body language and watch how the people around you are responding.

That advice only really applies to verbal abuse and threats. Unfortunately you described some physical abuse there and once it's gotten to this stage it is too late to try diffuse it. If you find yourself being physically attacked by a gang like this again, scream, shout, sing if you have to, just bring as much attention to it as possible. People DO notice when stuff like your attacks happen but unless they're faced with an actual plea for help, very few people try to intervene.

Again, in relation to physical abuse. Do try to avoid the bus stop alone. I know myself when you're tiny and timid it can be damn hard not to become a target. Best thing is to get mouthy (not cheeky!) when you have to. Open body language, loud responses, etc Always keep credit on your phone and call the guards and actually log these incidents. Even if you think it's pointless, don't stop trying.

Good luck OP. It can be awful when you're faced with this everyday. All that I've said here is really just a short term solution. If you're very scared and very unhappy, leave the area.

yes when i hear this stuff i feel ashamed to be irish, and i grew up around this cowardly malarkey..

as said above you can only try to project confidence when it's groups of them, it's usually one Ahole trying to show off to his mates... you may take solace in the fact he'll end up strung out/in jail/shot dead in a few years..

definitely report EVERY incident to the gardai.. they might not be able to do much.. but they might send the guards on the beat past your busstop a bit more often..

it's a shame we're having to advise people to clog up the roads with more cars just for safety.. if i ever was nearby i'd certainly help you..

would you take a self defence course??, if you knocked the main bully to the ground with a throw I guarantee you his mates will be too busy laughing at him to go near you

Overheal wrote: »

Id agree but im not sure of the legal situation with mace and pepper spray in ireland.

yes my apologies there, i didn't look into the legalities on mace etc., it may not be legal in this country. the personal alarms are though, and are RIDICULOUSLY loud, would be a good deterrent i imagine.

I'm surprised no one has mentioned self-defence classes. Naturally you wouldn't try to use it against a gang of lads, but it might give you more confidence in other situations knowing that you can take care of yourself if the worst happens.
You shouldn't have to change your life because of scumbags but if you can do something like moving or getting a car then it might be for the best.

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Taking into account what you've said here OP my suggestion is

1) Change the bus stop you use.
2) If changing the bus stop means that the bus is quite full when it gets to you, do not sit upstairs.

Also, with regard to other peoples reactions, they're just as afraid of physical retort from these guys as you are.

There is no real way to deal with scum like that but avoidance. There is no need to feel defeated by avoiding them just think of it as the best course of action you have available to you.

A.

Self-defense classes... mmh. I don't think it'd work because of the asymmetry of the conflict described.

The fact that you know self-defense tactics is all good and well but it can lure you into a false sense of confidence. Confidence doesn't help you if that gets you into an arms race. Who is to say that the attackers aren't carrying knives or makeshift weapons (e.g. broken bottles). Since it's almost exclusively several people ganging up on a single victim you are always outnumbered *and* face the threat of hidden weaponry... no no. I'd rather stick with switching stops.