I had sex with an escort today

LegacyUser · 01-05-2009 09:04PM #1

And do you know what, i feel really good about it too, well for now anyway. The girl was amazing looking and extremely nice to talk to. I was a bit nervous going in but she put me totally at ease. Anyways im just looking for people's opinion.

A bit about me. Im 23, just finishing college and im going to be unemployed. I consider myself relatively good looking but I havn't had sex with a girl in 1.5 years. I really only had 4 sexual patners and I think I just got this escort to relieve sexual tension. I find my mind is at ease now.

I havn't told anybody and I dont think I ever will.

What do girls think about guys who had sex with excorts??

Lollipops23 · 02-05-2009 11:57AM

honestly...?i wouldn't be all that impressed if a guy told me that. call me old fashioned, but in my head it sounds a) desperate and b) gross. i'd make you get screened for STIs before i'd hold your hand:D seriously,i'm sure you have your reasons but i'm just telling you my own honest reactions.

CSC · 02-05-2009 12:00PM

It doesn't matter what other people think. By the sounds of it you are never going to tell anyone about so don't worry about it.

Monkey61 · 02-05-2009 12:09PM

I personally wouldn't have a problem with it, but there are obviously going to be girls that would. The STI factor wouldn't be big worry either provided that you get yourself tested regularly, as I imagine escorts (there being a difference between escorts and junkies selling themselves on the street) would be even more meticulous when it came to looking after their sexual health than the majority of drunks looking to score on a saturday night. I'd sooner sleep with someone who'd had protected sex with an escort once, than a guy who said he hadn't used a condom on a one night stand once.

I think you should feel really good about it. Why not? Much better and healthier than you being riddled with unnecessary guilt or shame.

My only concern would be if it became a habit, which I imagine could happen quite easily. Expense aside, I would worry that it might start to have an effect on your mental well being in general and possibly leave you less confident with women if you got out of the habit of meeting girls and chatting them up etc. It also might then leave you less likely to find an amazing relationship if you were too busy fulfilling your sexual needs elsewhere to be bothered looking for one. But that's just a theory...

star-pants · 02-05-2009 12:10PM

IF you're not going to tell anyone, why do you want opinions of people who are strangers?

Personally, I'd rather not know a guy I was with had been with an escort of any form. Again, old fashioned perhaps but the whole paying for sex thing, doesn't sit with me.
Once you were safe & careful and you feel fine about it, what does it matter?

Wagon · 02-05-2009 12:22PM

Unregistered wrote: »

And do you know what, i feel really good about it too, well for now anyway. The girl was amazing looking and extremely nice to talk to. I was a bit nervous going in but she put me totally at ease. Anyways im just looking for people's opinion.

A bit about me. Im 23, just finishing college and im going to be unemployed. I consider myself relatively good looking but I havn't had sex with a girl in 1.5 years. I really only had 4 sexual patners and I think I just got this escort to relieve sexual tension. I find my mind is at ease now.

I havn't told anybody and I dont think I ever will.

What do girls think about guys who had sex with excorts??

I can't see what's wrong with it, once you used protection.

Don't tell girlfriends or anything. They won't take kindly to the news. I dont think it smacks of desperation either, your human and one and a half years is a long time to be denied that part of your humanity. Personally, i think it was a safer option than sleeping around with randomers.

Queen-Mise · 02-05-2009 12:39PM

Go for it - it obviously was an issue for you that you hadn't had sex for 1 1/2 years.

You sorted it. Issue finished. Although I wouldn't tell anyone.

And lots and lots of people do it.

hello_there_jim · 02-05-2009 12:41PM

whats an escort, the car?

Salome · 02-05-2009 12:51PM

Firstly, it's your own business what you do - you don't need approval from strangers.

Secondly, if you used protection, you've nothing to be concerned about.

Thirdly, don't tell any girlfriend(s) about this - they won't like the fact that their man has been with an escort.

LegacyUser · 02-05-2009 01:17PM

A lot of men in marriages effectively pay for sex with their wife so I don't see too much wrong paying directly so long she is doing it out of her free will.

Apparently more women than you would think have accepted money for sex at some point in their lives.

JangoFett · 02-05-2009 01:23PM

I went a year without sex and it really got to me. I considered getting an escort but that would have depressed me more, but that's just me.

Fair play man!

Last night, I got my first ever lapdance. I haven't seen a naked woman in a few months, until last night anyway, and it was great!

hello_there_jim · 02-05-2009 01:26PM

no seriously, is it like a hooker?

herya · 02-05-2009 01:28PM

Salome wrote: »

Thirdly, don't tell any girlfriend(s) about this - they won't like the fact that their man has been with an escort.

Or, more honestly, choose a gf who has no problem with you using escorts in the past.

herya · 02-05-2009 01:29PM

hello_there_jim wrote: »

no seriously, is it like a hooker?

Yes it is. A prostitute in other words. They are now called escorts.

username123 · 02-05-2009 01:57PM

Im female and I wouldnt have an issue with it. I might have an issue with it if it was a very regular thing and the only way you ever had sex, because Id worry did you view sexual intimacy as a financial transaction only and perhaps find yourself less inclined to attach any emotion to it, but just to experiment, relieve some tension and have a good time - no worries.

Just out of curiosity, how much did it cost and how long did you get with the girl?

Wibbs · 02-05-2009 02:17PM

hello_there_jim stay on topic and read the charter forum. You know full well the guy isn't talking about one of Henry Fords offerings. That or you failed to spot the obvious in his original post, or the following posts which would worry me if that was the case. So take the humour to AH thanks.

LegacyUser · 02-05-2009 02:22PM

I would be very seriously put off by a guy doing that. Didn't you feel kind of crap having to pay her?

herya · 02-05-2009 02:38PM

Unregistered wrote: »

Im 23, just finishing college and im going to be unemployed.

TBH this part would be more worrying for me than the escort thing alone.

How do you know you're going to be unemployed? What are you going to do? Are you going to draw the dole and sleep with escorts now? That's when your real problems start.

02-05-2009 02:38PM

Salome wrote: »

Secondly, if you used protection, you've nothing to be concerned about.

Yes because condoms protect against all stds and never fail.

I wouldn't want to be with someone who had used a prostitue, in any way.

O'Coonassa · 02-05-2009 02:48PM

Unregistered wrote: »

What do girls think about guys who had sex with excorts??

They think that escorts are giving it away too cheaply IMO and when you look at the astronomical price you must pay to go the conventional route it's easy to see why they feel that way.

Wagon · 02-05-2009 03:24PM

herya wrote: »

TBH this part would be more worrying for me than the escort thing alone.

How do you know you're going to be unemployed? What are you going to do? Are you going to draw the dole and sleep with escorts now? That's when your real problems start.

A lot of people are unemployed. This is mainly cos there's no jobs and not because all young lads are sleeping with prostitutes.

O'Coonassa wrote: »

They think that escorts are giving it away too cheaply IMO and when you look at the astronomical price you must pay to go the conventional route it's easy to see why they feel that way.

Legend

kittenkiller · 02-05-2009 03:36PM

If you feel so good about it, why are you posting here?

If you're so good looking, why do you have to pay for it after not having any for nearly two years?

Personally I think it's a grand thing for sexless loners, but regular people should probably try not to fork out for a clinical transaction with someone who'd probably do your dad straight after you if he had the cash.

LegacyUser · 02-05-2009 03:43PM

Young guy why would you need the services of an expensive prostitute
and why tell us about it, do you feel you have done something wrong?

02-05-2009 03:43PM

Wagon wrote: »

A lot of people are unemployed. This is mainly cos there's no jobs and not because all young lads are sleeping with prostitutes.

No jobs? Really? I have a job and all my friends have jobs. I wouldn't want to go out with someone who has decided that they're 'going to be unemployed' before they'd even finished college. What a defeatist attitude and lack of ambition.

Wagon · 02-05-2009 03:46PM

[quote=[Deleted User];60078601]No jobs? Really? I have a job and all my friends have jobs.[/QUOTE]
I had one too. Then i got laid off.

I wouldn't want to go out with someone who has decided that they're 'going to be unemployed' before they'd even finished college. What a defeatist attitude and lack of ambition.

Yeah well sometimes, people are being realistic. They dont want to get their hopes up. It doesn't mean he won't try looking.

crotalus667 · 02-05-2009 04:09PM

username123 wrote: »

Just out of curiosity, how much did it cost and how long did you get with the girl?

Not that I have used one (don’t get me wrong I have no objections to them) but the norm is about , 120-150 for 30mins 200-300 (usually 250) per hour , the difference between escorts and prostitutes is escorts charge for time prostates charge per act (although a lot of escorts charge extra for certain tings ) the prices in Ireland are notoriously high so there is huge influx of very good looking girls (a lot of girls go on tour as well)

JonathanAnon · 02-05-2009 04:14PM

Unregistered wrote: »

What do girls think about guys who had sex with excorts??

Escort is a euphemism for prostitute in this context. Not that I know much about it, but dont arent escorts usually provide the service of being a partner for social occasions, not sex.

I dont see why you are getting a ego boost from paying a good looking woman to have sex with you. I'm not being critical of you, you can do whatever you want so long as you dont harm anyone, but I just dont see why a) you would get a confidence boost from having sex with a hooker or b) come on here expecting people to condone what you are doing.

thebiggestjim · 02-05-2009 04:31PM

How much did she cost?

02-05-2009 04:34PM

Wagon wrote: »

I had one too. Then i got laid off.

So that means there are 'no jobs' in the world? Still plenty of people with jobs out there, plenty of people finding other work after losing one, plenty of graduates coming out with job offers. It's much more difficult than it used to be coming out of college, but far from impossible. I don't know a single person from my year who isn't either doing a postgrad or in full time employment. The way people on here go on, you'd think the entire country was on the dole. But that's another topic.

Yeah well sometimes, people are being realistic. They dont want to get their hopes up. It doesn't mean he won't try looking.

It's not realistic, it's defeatist. Looking for ages and not finding anything is one thing, saying you're 'going to be unemployed' is another. With that attitude, yes, he probably will be. I couldn't tolerate that mentality in a partner.

As for the escort, I'd find it pretty sad to be honest that someone had to pay for sex. I'd wonder why they couldn't find a normal girlfriend, or someone to have casual sex with for free. Just seems very desperate to me.

iguana · 02-05-2009 04:49PM

JonathanAnon wrote: »

but I just dont see why a) you would get a confidence boost from having sex with a hooker

This is that part I don't quite get. You paid someone to have sex with you, everything between you was more than likely an act. If you looked like Henry VIII in his later years the escort would have oohed and aahed and made out like she had a good time. If the sex was the worst she ever had she would have faked that orgasm like it was the best she ever had. I mean sure there is a possibility that she was genuinely attracted to you and enjoyed the sex. But the strong odds are that she wriggled and writhed with an eye on the clock and mentally did her shopping list while silently urging you to hurry up and finish off so she could go home and watch Corrie or get on to the next John.

And this is the part I'd have a problem with if a partner had slept with prostitutes in his past. There have been a lot of PIs about past partners and self-respect. And I think that someone who had 200 past sexual partners, where each encounter was initiated through mutual desire, is someone who honestly respects themselves and their partners. But someone who had sex with someone who has no real interest in them and sees shagging them as a chore they do for money is either severely lacking in self-respect or foolishly deluded.

Mrmoe · 02-05-2009 05:00PM

I'd say that most women would not be too thrilled about it. But does it matter what they think?No. If you enjoyed it then there should be no problem. You are not alone either, loads of people have done the same thing worldwide throughout history.

dazberry · 02-05-2009 05:45PM

Its a funny (not haha) thing, but I worked with a guy that like the OP felt that he needed to go to an "escort" because he hadn't had sex in a while, and that he needed to just get it "out of his system". Once he went once, the taboo was broken and the one off became a regular thing.

D.

Joey the lips · 02-05-2009 05:46PM

Why not! If she is up for it! give it a go!

Your paying for it either way!:D

LegacyUser · 02-05-2009 06:44PM

My ex told me a while after we broke up that he had had sex with an escort the previous year! He was bragging about it. I was disgusted and never as happy to have dumped someone in my LIFE!! Oh yeah and then when I wouldnt sleep with him that night or even kiss him he couldn't understand why... looser.

So I would say don't tell any future girlfriends!!

cowzerp · 02-05-2009 07:13PM

Unregistered wrote: »

And do you know what, i feel really good about it too, well for now anyway.

Good for you-ya enjoyed it and kept a person in a job, she provided a service well and you had a good time.. all good in the hood!

Wagon · 02-05-2009 07:24PM

[quote=[Deleted User];60079043]So that means there are 'no jobs' in the world? Still plenty of people with jobs out there, plenty of people finding other work after losing one, plenty of graduates coming out with job offers. It's much more difficult than it used to be coming out of college, but far from impossible. I don't know a single person from my year who isn't either doing a postgrad or in full time employment. The way people on here go on, you'd think the entire country was on the dole. But that's another topic.[/QUOTE]
Didn't say everyone was on the dole. But a lot more are than a year ago.

It's not realistic, it's defeatist. Looking for ages and not finding anything is one thing, saying you're 'going to be unemployed' is another. With that attitude, yes, he probably will be. I couldn't tolerate that mentality in a partner.

Whatever you say.

As for the escort, I'd find it pretty sad to be honest that someone had to pay for sex. I'd wonder why they couldn't find a normal girlfriend, or someone to have casual sex with for free. Just seems very desperate to me.

It's easier for women to find someone to have casual sex with than a bloke. That's a fact. So this chap, rather than take the "acceptable" route and scour the pubs and clubs for a few weeks, getting rejected numerous times and recieveing a torrent of abuse in some cases decided to pay some cash to an escort, have a bit of hanky panky and walk away happily. He probably sent less than the normal way too. It's not somwthing I'd do myself but i can understand why someone would.

Anyway, a one night stand is basically the same thing. Two strangers meet and use each other to have sex. With an escort, one gets sex and the other gets money. Not that different.

Dr.Sanchez · 02-05-2009 08:04PM

How much did that set you back?!

Just use your bad hand, feels like someone else is doing it! haha

StormWarrior · 02-05-2009 08:19PM

I'm female and I would be put off by a man who had used an escort. The main reason is the lack of regard it shows for the woman in question. It may have seemed like she was doing it out of her own free will, but you can never be totally sure. For all you know she could have been trafficked or pressured into it somehow, or anything really. I personally would rather date someone more thoughtful and chivalrous. Also, it is pretty desperate. If I knew a man had paid for it even once, I would wonder why he couldn't have just gotten it for free.

StormWarrior · 02-05-2009 08:26PM

Mrmoe wrote: »

I'd say that most women would not be too thrilled about it. But does it matter what they think?No. If you enjoyed it then there should be no problem. You are not alone either, loads of people have done the same thing worldwide throughout history.

Well, lots of people have also murdered, stolen and raped and all kinds of other things.

Look, OP, people on here are telling you it doesn't matter and just don't tell a future girlfriend. But what kind of relationship do you hope for in the future? The time may come when one day you meet someone you actually love and want to be honest with them. Just think about that before you do it again.

Also, if I was with a man I knew had used prostitutes, I would be concerned about how he'd view me. What if you get married and your wife is pregnant or something and can't have sex for a while. Would you go to a prostitute? Would you expect sex of her when she doesn't want to? If you're happy to do it with a prostitute, who you know doesn't actually want to do it with you, then your future wife/girlfriend may worry that you'll expect her to put out just to please you when she doesn't want to.

biko · 02-05-2009 08:29PM

I'd rather go without than having sex with a prostitute.

Mark27 · 02-05-2009 08:39PM

To be honest in my own opinion i dont think theres anything wrong with going off with a prostitute if you are over on holiday in Thailand or Rio and just want it to be part of the experience, not to mention the temptation that is on hand once you actually get out there.

To go off with one in ireland, or anywhere other than i mentioned would be a bit no in my book. But otherwise i think its alright!!

cowzerp · 02-05-2009 08:43PM

Mark27 wrote: »

To be honest in my own opinion i dont think theres anything wrong with going off with a prostitute if you are over on holiday in Thailand or Rio and just want it to be part of the experience, not to mention the temptation that is on hand once you actually get out there.

To go off with one in ireland, or anywhere other than i mentioned would be a bit no in my book. But otherwise i think its alright!!

That makes no sense, if anything there's more chance that the thai girls are doing it due to poverty and have to do it, the girls in ireland would be more likely doing this down to choice and that makes it more acceptable to me, there not for me but for someone who needs the service, thats a different story.

LegacyUser · 02-05-2009 08:48PM

80's girl wrote: »

My ex told me a while after we broke up that he had had sex with an escort the previous year! He was bragging about it. I was disgusted and never as happy to have dumped someone in my LIFE!! Oh yeah and then when I wouldnt sleep with him that night or even kiss him he couldn't understand why... looser.

So I would say don't tell any future girlfriends!!

not all girls are as judgemental - i did the sex & drugs weekends in amsterdam in my youth quite a few times - since then my 2 serious gfs since have no issue with and appreciated my honesty
once I'd been sti tested they were cool about it.

you should never lie about who you are. your experiences make you who you are - good or bad.

Op my only problem is that you waited 18 months before getting laid. I would have been in after 6 months.

francish · 02-05-2009 09:19PM

Wagon wrote: »

I can't see what's wrong with it, once you used protection.

Don't tell girlfriends or anything.

Would it not bother you if you were in relationship, your girlfriend asks you if you have been with an escort and you lie.

moe_sizlak · 02-05-2009 09:40PM

while not something i would aproove of per say , i sympathise with those who feel the need to use escorts

some guys are pug ugly and simply cannot get sex through the traditional channells , as someone said in an earlier post , its different for girls , women can have sex anytime they choose

ugly men have needs too

O'Coonassa · 02-05-2009 10:14PM

<DEVILS ADVOCATE>Sex is a commodity that only females have on offer and it is ALWAYS traded. Cash, booze, time wit and charm, a ring on the finger...what's the actual difference?</DEVILS ADVOCATE>

02-05-2009 10:17PM

O'Coonassa wrote: »

<DEVILS ADVOCATE>Sex is a commodity that only females have on offer and it is ALWAYS traded. Cash, booze, time wit and charm, a ring on the finger...what's the actual difference?</DEVILS ADVOCATE>

Try learning how to make a woman come, it will spare your commodities.

oldyouth · 02-05-2009 10:21PM

Where is the harrm, what is the problem? If you had started the post with ' I have a partner but', well that is different. The main consideration is if it was a once off, or is it the only way you can find a satisfying sexual outlet going forward.

O'Coonassa · 02-05-2009 10:24PM

Moonbaby wrote: »

Try learning how to make a woman come, it will spare your commodities.

lol that's maybe true for next time but next time izzzzzzzz..zzzzz

m@cc@ · 02-05-2009 10:36PM

I'm against prostitution in all honesty. What are you saying about yourself that you're so desperate for sex that you would consider paying for it?

Sex in a meaningful relationship is surely forever tainted as if you weren't getting it there, you'd just fork out money to get it instead.

O'Coonassa · 02-05-2009 10:48PM

m@cc@ wrote: »

I'm against prostitution in all honesty. What are you saying about yourself that you're so desperate for sex that you would consider paying for it?

Sex in a meaningful relationship is surely forever tainted as if you weren't getting it there, you'd just fork out money to get it instead.

Ya but you have to say that because you're in Utrecht

<jk>

The OP has done nothing wrong and if you're honest with yourself you'll see that you ALWAYS pay for it unless you've congealed into the monotony of a regular supply of sex with one partner and then you can slack off and get away with 'freebies' if you're so inclined.

I had sex with an escort today

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