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Chimp Planned His Missile Attacks On Us!

  • 19-05-2009 12:18AM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭


    Bad monkey... oughta be spanked!
    A male chimpanzee in a Swedish zoo planned hundreds of stone-throwing attacks on zoo visitors, according to researchers.

    Keepers at Furuvik Zoo found that the chimp collected and stored stones that he would later use as missiles.

    Further, the chimp learned to recognise how and when parts of his concrete enclosure could be pulled apart to fashion further projectiles.

    The findings are reported in the journal Current Biology.

    There has been scant evidence in previous research that animals can plan for future events.

    Crucial to the current study is the fact that Santino, a chimpanzee at the zoo in the city north of Stockholm, collected the stones in a calm state, prior to the zoo opening in the morning.

    The launching of the stones occurred hours later - during dominance displays to zoo visitors - with Santino in an "agitated" state.

    More here:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7928996.stm


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,836 ✭✭✭Sir Gallagher


    Looks like Stanley Kubrick was spot on with his theory of evolution.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,318 ✭✭✭O'Coonassa


    To control his behavior and keep his hormone levels down, zookeepers have castrated Santino. Since then, Santino has been observed to play more and is getting "fatter" :(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,563 ✭✭✭segaBOY


    O'Coonassa wrote: »
    To control his behavior and keep his hormone levels down, zookeepers have castrated Santino. Since then, Santino has been observed to play more and is getting "fatter" :(

    It's nicer to neuter ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,318 ✭✭✭O'Coonassa


    segaBOY wrote: »
    It's nicer to neuter ;)

    Well there's now at least one future event he's not going to be planning for...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 471 ✭✭pmg58


    I was expecting a thread about how George Bush had nukes pointed at Ireland.

    EDIT: I really could have come up with something better for my 100th post :(


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,115 ✭✭✭Dankoozy


    2008 called, they wanted their article back


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,837 ✭✭✭S.I.R


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Bad monkey... oughta be spanked!



    More here:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7928996.stm

    OLD NEWS!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal




  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,113 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    Animals sentient in shocker, oh wait...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,154 ✭✭✭Rented Mule


    I, for one, welcome our new chimp overlords.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 622 ✭✭✭Pete4779


    1998 called, they want their Slashdot phrase back.


  • Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,659 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    I welcome our new chimp overlords.

    /shakes head

    You did it all wrong!! Its 'I, for one, welcome our new chimp overlords'

    Why did they neuter him? If he was bold they couldve just spanked him. Although now he can never spank the monkey again :(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,476 ✭✭✭Mr.Lizard


    Looks like Stanley Kubrick was spot on with his theory of evolution.
    Dankoozy wrote: »
    2001 called, they wanted their article back

    FYP


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Pete4779 wrote: »
    1998 called, they want their Slashdot phrase back.
    Kent Brockman called, and wants 1998 to fcuk off claiming stuff it doesnt own.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,154 ✭✭✭Rented Mule


    antodeco wrote: »
    /shakes head

    You did it all wrong!! Its 'I, for one, welcome our new chimp overlords'

    Why did they neuter him? If he was bold they couldve just spanked him. Although now he can never spank the monkey again :(

    Fixed.

    Go back to thinking about monkeys masturbating again. :p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,022 ✭✭✭johnny_knoxvile


    Is this the opening scene to Planet Of The Apes? I say send it Chuck Norris to sort out the cheeky chimp before his subversive ideals catch on.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,739 ✭✭✭Naos


    Awesome.

    They should pit this chimp against that 7 year old kid that bypassed a security fence & other security measures and killed loads of animals, against each other.

    Battle Royale style.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,589 ✭✭✭Hail 2 Da Chimp


    I, for one, welcome our new chimp overlords.

    Me too!


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