Paternity testng and results

aoifemonaghan · 30-12-2009 04:48PM #1

Hiya,

I'm with my boyfriend 2 1/2 years, before we became official he was sleeping with this girl who would be known as the town bike (still not very impressed), but when we got together she came up to him and told him she was pregnant with his child, he said that he wanted a paternity test and she refused. She seemingly got one done with another fella and said that the test came back as negative but that there was seven matches to him...can anyone explain what this means as im unsure. She said she got it done in Blackrock Clinic and doesnt trust the test so she wants to do a home testing one with my boyfriend to "rule him out"...(how stupid does she think we are!!). Her friends have came up to me and said that they know of three more possible fathers but she denies this, i dont believe a word she says because from the start she said my boyfriend was the only fella she slept with and then went on to get tested with someone else....anger...all vented out!! anyways back to my original question...what does the seven matches mean does anyone know?? Oh and this has all happened 2 1/2 years after we first asked for the test....Real classy girl who doesnt have the decency to contact you via phone, it all happened last sunday while we where out...classy girl!!

January · 30-12-2009 04:54PM

She's bullshítting, the only way anything could be matched to him is if he gave her a sample of his DNA. If there is a possibility of him being the father I would get onto Dolphin House about it to find out for sure, you can get court ordered paternity tests done. What result does she want from this? Money? Him back?

aoifemonaghan · 30-12-2009 05:07PM

she hasnt done a test with my boyfriend it was another fella, sorry for confusion. The test she done with the other fella came back as negative (the word she used on sunday night though was inconclusive...) but with seven matches..theres where im confused, i thought if there was any matches it would of came back positive. Now the other fella doesnt want to know, so i think she wants my boyfriend to get the test for it to come back negative so she can go back to the other fella and say that it is his as she never slept with anyone else, which he would be a fool to believe....sorry for confusion here!!

She admitted to me the other night that way back at the start she was trying to break us up, i think she is just ****e stirrin but to be honest i would prefer to get it done and then we can move on. The child doesn look like her or my boyfriend, he is certain it is not his and by her refusing to get it done in the first place she knows herself its not his...

kenbrady · 30-12-2009 05:08PM

aoifemonaghan wrote: »

Hiya,

I'm with my boyfriend 2 1/2 years, before we became official he was sleeping with this girl who would be known as the town bike (still not very impressed), but when we got together she came up to him and told him she was pregnant with his child, he said that he wanted a paternity test and she refused. She seemingly got one done with another fella and said that the test came back as negative but that there was seven matches to him...can anyone explain what this means as im unsure. She said she got it done in Blackrock Clinic and doesnt trust the test so she wants to do a home testing one with my boyfriend to "rule him out"...(how stupid does she think we are!!). Her friends have came up to me and said that they know of three more possible fathers but she denies this, i dont believe a word she says because from the start she said my boyfriend was the only fella she slept with and then went on to get tested with someone else....anger...all vented out!! anyways back to my original question...what does the seven matches mean does anyone know?? Oh and this has all happened 2 1/2 years after we first asked for the test....Real classy girl who doesnt have the decency to contact you via phone, it all happened last sunday while we where out...classy girl!!

Forget about the other test. You need to get your own test done, you need samples from her, child and boyfriend.Costs about €300-500 takes a couple of weeks.

You don't come across as very classy yourself. I know you are angry this woman might have a child with your boyfriend. But he did sleep with her on a regular basis, so it is a possibility. Taking about her alleged reputation and sex life, adds nothing to your query. Makes you seem very bitter and jealous.

aoifemonaghan · 30-12-2009 05:29PM

kenbrady wrote: »

You don't come across as very classy yourself. I know you are angry this woman might have a child with your boyfriend. But he did sleep with her on a regular basis, so it is a possibility. Taking about her alleged reputation and sex life, adds nothing to your query. Makes you seem very bitter and jealous.

Good observation young sir!! yes i am bitter, due to the fact that this lovely girl came and told my boyfriend she was pregnant with his child, spread it around my hometown, hurled abuse at my father while he was in his local while he had no idea of any of this, refused us a test when we asked for it, then in turn spread it around the town that it was actaully my boyfriend who refused the test and then say to my boyfriend "sorry the child is not yours she is someone elses" to actually think that this was put behind us and AFTER TWO 1/2 YEARS to come up and say i want a test....bitter...YES....jealous...why would i be jealous??

Chinafoot · 30-12-2009 05:40PM

aoifemonaghan wrote: »

, refused us a test when we asked for it,

Ok, I don't mean to nitpick but ultimately this is your boyfriends responsibility. This is not your issue and she would be well within her rights in telling you to bog off and mind your own business. Yes you're his girlfriend but this is a woman that he was sleeping with before you appeared on the scene.

As kenbrady pointed out, your boyfriend was having sex with her so, regardless of her reputation and unless your boyfriend is 100% sure he's firing blanks, there is a possibility that this child is his.

Your boyfriend (not you) needs to tell this girl that he won't agree to a home test and will only have the test done in a proper clinic where he can speak to the doctors. If she refuses then ignore her. She obviously doesn't want to find out that badly.

aoifemonaghan · 30-12-2009 05:48PM

it has everything to do with me, we have a child together so while i might have been there watchin, im involved

!! so none is gonna tell me what the seven matches mean then???

Chinafoot · 30-12-2009 05:57PM

aoifemonaghan wrote: »

it has everything to do with me, we have a child together so while i might have been there watchin, im involved !! so none is gonna tell me what the seven matches mean then???

Sorry but it really doesn't. Yes it's a crap situation but this is between the two of them. It happened before you. If you want to make things happen a bit smoother its probably best to keep your rage out of it.

Obviously none of us here work in DNA testing in order to tell you what the seven matches mean. For all you know this is something she heard on the tv and repeated. Maybe the test wasn't carried out properly, maybe the sample from the possible father wasn't enough for the test to be carried out or was damaged. Who knows?

Your boyfriend (and you) needs to stop focusing on this other test and get a test of your own sorted. Tell her you want the test done. Go to a solicitor to see if they can force a paternity test of you have to. Then you can all move on whatever the outcome.

Sophsxxx · 30-12-2009 06:01PM

From what I've heard it means that he's not the father but could be a distant relative of the father like a cousin or whatever.
This is just my common knowledge though so...google it!:)

And good luck btw, your one sounds like shes out to stir trouble. This happened to someone I know, didn't know who the father was so plucked a few names out of thin air in the hope that one of them was gullible enough to just accept that he was the father. She was soon called out on it though!

Nevyn · 30-12-2009 06:01PM

aoifemonaghan wrote: »

it has everything to do with me, we have a child together so while i might have been there watchin, im involved !! so none is gonna tell me what the seven matches mean then???

A paternity test is not like a pregnancy test with only 1 answer of postive or negative.

A paternity test check for a conclusive match using several genetic markers.
Ireland being a small country and small towns having families who inter mingled and married going back several generations will mean that who people from the same area will have some genetic markers which are a positive matches.

Sounds like you need to go learn how paternity test work.

A 'home' test is where the samples are taken by a person and then sent of to be processed. This usually means a swap is taken of the inside of the cheek and then sealed into a container and the samples to be compared are sent off.

As cross as you may be with the disruption to your life which this woman has caused, it is up to your partner to be proactive in sorting out the issue of the child in questions paternity. He needs to be contacting the woman and sort out testing asap, It could be agreed to meet in the child's gps office and have the dr take the samples from the child and your partner and send them off for testing.

You may have to face up to the fact that if the child is his he will have to take responsibility and you will have to live with that.

aoifemonaghan · 30-12-2009 06:03PM

we arent focusing on the other test, we ARE getting a test done, i merely wanted to know what it meant, i didnt come on here expecting to get talking to scientists but maybe someone who has being through the process before, regardless of what you think i am involved, a decision made by my boyfriend, a decision made by us as a couple. Until you are in the situation i dont think you can pass comment.

Chinafoot · 30-12-2009 06:13PM

aoifemonaghan wrote: »

Until you are in the situation i dont think you can pass comment.

Then why post here? Go speak to a professional if your query was only about what the 7 matches mean.

As it happens I have two very good friends who have been in similar situations.

The first was in your position and she got angry like you are. But ultimately she realised that her anger was only antagonising the other woman and she needed to butt out and leave it between the two of them. She was there to support her partner but she kept away from the other woman and didn't pass comment on her or her "reputation". Turned out it was his.

The second friend has been where the other woman is. She told him that she was pregnant and he denied it down to the ground because of his girlfriend. She offered a DNA test and he said no. His girlfriend called her a slut and a tramp and all sorts but in the end her boyfriend had slept with her on numerous occasions. He needed to take responsibility for his actions and she needed to keep her mouth shut as it had nothing to do with her. Turned out it was his child too.

Now, by all means support your boyfriend privately but don't mouth off about this girl. Don't engage her on the issue and just tell her to speak to your boyfriend.

Bit of education on contraception might come in handy too.

Good luck.

aoifemonaghan · 30-12-2009 06:18PM

Thaedydal wrote: »

A paternity test is not like a pregnancy test with only 1 answer of postive or negative.

A paternity test check for a conclusive match using several genetic markers.
Ireland being a small country and small towns having families who inter mingled and married going back several generations will mean that who people from the same area will have some genetic markers which are a positive matches.

Sounds like you need to go learn how paternity test work.

A 'home' test is where the samples are taken by a person and then sent of to be processed. This usually means a swap is taken of the inside of the cheek and then sealed into a container and the samples to be compared are sent off.

As cross as you may be with the disruption to your life which this woman has caused, it is up to your partner to be proactive in sorting out the issue of the child in questions paternity. He needs to be contacting the woman and sort out testing asap, It could be agreed to meet in the child's gps office and have the dr take the samples from the child and your partner and send them off for testing.

You may have to face up to the fact that if the child is his he will have to take responsibility and you will have to live with that.

At the start of all of this we wanted a test, she refused, she then ended up tellin us that the child was not my boyfriends that it was someone elses, she told us on sunday that she wanted a dna test 2 1/2 years later, after all the ****e she caused, we have agreed to this test, my boyfriend is being proactive about this and we have discussed what the consequences will be if the child ends out being his, we have talked about this 2 years ago and we have talked about it again this week. Regardless of this she has admitted that she doesnt think that the child is his she wants the test to "rule him out". Now please dont get on my back about being pro active or my boyfriend having to sit down and discuss this..does the fact taht this girl has left it until her child is 2 before she asks for a test after saying that the child was not his?? my boyfriend has gotten onto her saying it is not fair on the child and it is not fair on the childs father. He begged and cried for the dna test the first time around and she wouldnt give it to him. And the only time she has spoke to us about this is when she is drunk. It was my boyfriend who made the initial contact after sunday night. I actually have to laugh at all the people who have come on here and spoke down to me when all i wanted was an answer, while i understand full well the difference between a pregnancy test and a paternity test she was the one who used the phrase "negative", i have never had to use a paternity test so excuse me for my mistake.

Nevyn · 30-12-2009 06:36PM

Your post came across as frankly belligerent and that is going to make people think less of it, that's just how it is. I suggest you go and look up how paternity dna testing works or ask the company you are going to use to send you out a booklet explaining it to you.

dudara · 30-12-2009 06:49PM

DNA testing works by looking for genetic markers in the different samples. The more of the same markers that are found in the sample, the greater the probability is that the people are related.

Without knowing the details of the test that this woman took, "7 matches" means nothing. Your partner really needs to get a test taken and get his own set of results.

LegacyUser · 30-12-2009 07:16PM

Op i really feel for you and your situation. It doesnt help much either when you ask for help and get attacked even more on here!

You have every right to be bitter after what this woman has done to ye. Of course its your business you have a kid and a relationship with this man.

I have no idea about the seven matches sorry!

It is very suspicious that she is being so sneaky about the D.N.A test. Try make your bf demand one and dont let him take no for an answer. Ye need to settle this once and for all.

Goodluck OP

LegacyUser · 30-12-2009 09:45PM

Sorry for being blunt here but if she was the village bike and he was stupid enough to be sleeping with her unprotected there are other tests the pair of you should be getting done, STD tests.

suspectpackage · 30-12-2009 09:54PM

Well OP I can see why you are having problems here. Your attitude. quite frankly, it stinks. I don't expect you to change it. You won't get anything from this forum OP. You talk down about the girl, well your boyfriend was with her several times so what does that make him? All this "we did this, we want that", take the WE out and let the boyfriend sort it out. You have no respect for this girl, never had, and you strongly dislike her. The thought of her and your boyfriend having sex repeatedly must sicken you. All I can say is don't talk to her and let your boyfriend sort it out ASAP.

amdublin · 30-12-2009 10:03PM

I believe that a DNA test is never 100% positive. I think once there is a certain amount of matches than the probability is that the person is the father. What amount that is I do not know.

You seem quite obsessed with this girl and her history. Maybe it's your boyfriend who is the problem and not the girl? Is he aware of this thing called contraceptive?

By the way I note on your original post that he was seeing her before you were official. Does this mean he was sleeping with you both? Maybe you should be thinking about std tests and let him and her sort out the DNA test?

metrovelvet · 30-12-2009 11:24PM

How old is your child? how old is the other child? You guys all live in the same town?

aoifemonaghan · 31-12-2009 02:07PM

thanks to the very few messages of support, for all the others i have to laugh, i am getting a personal vendetta against me purely because of my feelings towards this girl, i aplologize for calling her the town bike, you must have to sleep with six different fellas and fall pregnant to one of them before that constitutes to be called the "town bike", my mistake!! Her actions speak louder than words, and yes i dont like the fact that my boyfriend was ever with her, i made my feelings quite clear on this before we got together. also to all ye who seem to think that my boyfriend has a problem with contraception, our child was planned, also to those who think that we were sleeping with each other before we became official, i didnt sleep with him until 4 months after and not until he got tested which he did, he had an std, caught from her. I am not a 15 year old girl as some of you to seem to think i am the way you are speaking to me. and to the others who also have a problem with me being involved with the whole situation that WE are in, tough. My boyfriend has no problem and neither does the other girl so thats the way it is. It is "us" as a couple chasing this girl to get the test AGAIN, it is "us" as a couple willing to pay for it AGAIN. i dont really have to say much more in regards to my personal life, ive said more than enough. Thanks to all who actually answered my question.

Chinafoot · 31-12-2009 04:26PM

aoifemonaghan wrote: »

thanks to the very few messages of support, for all the others i have to laugh, i am getting a personal vendetta against me purely because of my feelings towards this girl,

Personal vendetta. Wow, thats not immature at all. You should take the advice of people on here and readjust your attitude because if this child is his, this woman will be in your boyfriends life for a very, very long time.

aoifemonaghan wrote: »

also to all ye who seem to think that my boyfriend has a problem with contraception, our child was planned, also to those who think that we were sleeping with each other before we became official, i didnt sleep with him until 4 months after

See, now I'm just confused because in a previous post by you in July you mention having a 2 year old child with your partner and him having a child from a previous relationship. Your timeline doesn't seem to make sense here at all if you're together 2 and a half years and your planned child is 2 and half...

Bit of maturity on your part would go a long way.

amdublin · 31-12-2009 07:18PM

So your boyfriend has two kids already. And now this possible child.

If this turns out that the child is another one of your boyfriends children then this girl will be in his life forever. You will have to get on with her at some stage. Probably best to try do that sooner rather than later.

Paternity testng and results

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