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Funny and even offensive chat up lines

  • 05-08-2010 12:03AM
    #1
    Hurricane-Dean
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 954 ✭✭✭


    Got in a big (drunk) discussion last night about chat up lines that I heard either used or just joking. I'll start with a recent one (don't know anyone willing to try it)

    "get your coat love.......I've got a knife"

    Anyone with others??


Comments

  • #2
    MrStuffins
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,357 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    Do ya like Chicken?

    Well suck my cock, it's FOUL fowl!!!


  • #3
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    do you wanna go halves on a bastard

    does your belly want a lodger

    dont let this great night turn into a rape


  • #4
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    Alright love? Show us your fanny will ye?


  • #5
    MrStuffins
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,357 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    admiralofthefleet wrote: »
    do you wanna go halves on a bastard

    Always loved this one!


  • #6
    El Siglo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,803 ✭✭✭El Siglo


    You'll do.


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  • #7
    El Siglo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,803 ✭✭✭El Siglo


    admiralofthefleet wrote: »
    dont let this great night turn into a rape

    Fucking brilliant!:pac:


  • #8
    KeithM89_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    My friends all said your easy, lets go


  • #9
    mikom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    "Hey there sexy, was your father a thief by any chance?"

    They usually reply..... "No! And I've heard that chat-up line before."

    Then I go........"What chat-up line? I only came over because you look like the guy that bummed me in prison."


  • #10
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    orourkeda wrote: »
    Alright love? Show us your fanny will ye?

    giz a sniff of yer growler


  • #11
    pebbles21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,817 ✭✭✭pebbles21


    You Dont each much for a fat bird!!


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  • #12
    mink_man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,454 ✭✭✭mink_man


    pebbles21 wrote: »
    You Dont each much for a fat bird!!

    fail...


  • #13
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    mikom wrote: »
    "Hey there sexy, was your father a thief by any chance?"

    They usually reply..... "No! And I've heard that chat-up line before."

    Then I go........"What chat-up line? I only came over because you look like the guy that bummed me in prison."

    Yeah your da


  • #14
    alwaysadub
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,554 ✭✭✭✭alwaysadub


    "Do you've a mirror in your knickers"

    "no,why"?

    "Cos i can see myself in them later"


  • #15
    KeithM89_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,806 ✭✭✭✭KeithM89_old


    mink_man wrote: »
    fail...

    Jesus what a cuntish thing to say... :D



    Also, Can i buy u a drink or do you just want the money?


  • #16
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,260 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    alwaysadub wrote: »
    "Do you've a mirror in your knickers"

    "no,why"?

    "Cos i can see myself in them later"


    :confused:


  • #17
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,242 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    alwaysadub wrote: »
    "Do you've a mirror in your knickers"

    "no,why"?

    "Cos i can see myself in them later"

    Reply would be to take em off and tell him, 'Well try em on now so if your that eager!'


  • #18
    Des Carter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 720 ✭✭✭Des Carter


    Hey this is what your looking for.

    These guys are legends

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kH9-6PgBrR0


    Oh how I wish I had their balls!


  • #19
    Wolfe Tone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,670 ✭✭✭✭Wolfe Tone


    I would give you one!


    Get shot down



    Out of ten!


  • #20
    MrStuffins
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,357 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    Des Carter wrote: »
    Hey this is what your looking for.

    These guys are legends

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kH9-6PgBrR0


    Oh how I wish I had their balls!

    couple of pretty funny ones

    "I just sh1t my pants, can i have your phone number?"

    And the kid with

    "On a scale of 1 - 10... can i have your phone number?"

    and

    "My dad used to beat me... can i have your phone number?"


  • #21
    alwaysadub
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,554 ✭✭✭✭alwaysadub


    ejmaztec wrote: »
    :confused:

    He wouldn't be wearing them!
    At least i'd fcukin hope not! :eek:

    Heard it the other day,1st one that came into my head. Now realise it could be interperted different :D


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  • #22
    Adam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,866 ✭✭✭Adam


    gis a lash of yer gash


  • #23
    Des Carter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 720 ✭✭✭Des Carter


    Run over to a group of women and act like your mentally handicapped

    "My favourite number is 7" etc

    "WTF a handicapped guy"

    then turn serious and say in a sexy voice:

    "Im not really retarded I just thought Id act like one as ye seem like very SPECIAL ladies"


  • #24
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,242 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    alwaysadub wrote: »
    He wouldn't be wearing them!
    At least i'd fcukin hope not! :eek:

    Heard it the other day,1st one that came into my head. Now realise it could be interperted different :D

    did it work thought. :) think i forgot to mention, 'how you doin'?'


  • #25
    Dr. No
    Closed Accounts Posts: 113 ✭✭Dr. No


    Is that a ladder in your thights or a stairway to heaven


  • #26
    Jeboa Safari
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,202 ✭✭✭Jeboa Safari


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYsYJ1Zf3Z8


  • #27
    lalee17
    Closed Accounts Posts: 688 ✭✭✭lalee17


    admiralofthefleet wrote: »
    dont let this great night turn into a rape
    don't let this rape turn into a murder! :D


  • #28
    RayM
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,973 ✭✭✭RayM


    Hey, is that a lack of serotonin in your central nervous system, or are you just unhappy to see me?


  • #29
    SadieSue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,054 ✭✭✭SadieSue


    "Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass."


  • #30
    dan1895
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,597 ✭✭✭dan1895


    Does this cloth smell like chloroform?


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  • #31
    Des Carter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 720 ✭✭✭Des Carter


    "You ladies are way prettier than the gierls I usually follow, Can I have your number"


    "You just stole my heart but its Ok I have another one in my freezer at home"


    "Are your feet tired? because Iv been following you for the last while and mine are"


    "Im lost, can I have your number"


    "You have really pretty eyes, theyd look great in a jar on my shelf"



    "Do you have Aids?"

    "No!"

    "YEAHHHHH"

    "Can I have your number?"


  • #32
    MrStuffins
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,357 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    Your eyes are gorgeous....... can i touch them?


  • #33
    NBTD
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 113 ✭✭NBTD


    Doesnt transfer well as written (typed) English...

    There's a party in my pants, and urine :(....


    youre in-vited!:cool:


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