Starting new job and getting nervous now

LegacyUser · 15-10-2010 04:05PM #1

Hi,
I am starting a new job on monday,i havent being work in several months,im getting a bit nervous now thinking about it,Im a bit shy and just the taught of meeting getting to know new people is frightning me.

belongtojazz · 15-10-2010 08:53PM

I'm in exactly the same boat as you:)

I moved back to Ireland in July after working in the same job in the UK for 10 years. I was resonably senior in my old job and managed a team of people. Now I'm about to start a temp role in admin :eek: I'm thrilled to bits I got a job but I'm scared witless about starting. I am naturally shy but have over the years figured out ways to hide it even when inside i'm scared silly.

My plan is to be as friendly and smiley as I can and hope for the best.

Hope it goes well for you

niceoneted · 15-10-2010 09:07PM

My brother is quite shy and had this issue when he was starting anything - until he went through the process a few times.
I know it's easier said than done but just try not to think about it and if you do just think gosh how everyone is going to be nice. Be friendly but not overly so and smile. It might take a few days or a bit longer to settle but you'll most likely look back in a few weeks and wonder why all the worry.
Lots of people I have worked with over the years have been shy but there is always someone or a few who notice this and will make an effort with you ( I would have done this and more so when I became aware of my brothers issues). The big thing is that when some one makes the effort you reciprocate as this will be your opening.
Try read the papers or news on the net over the weekend so you know whats going on so it's easy to have a few topics of conversation, also have an idea fo things you'd like to know about the place of work be they of a professional or social level at the back of your mind to ask if your not informed of them.

Best of luck and come back and let us know how you get on.

LegacyUser · 15-10-2010 10:46PM

Thanks ,I will.

beks101 · 16-10-2010 12:41AM

Congrats on the job OP, great news!

Don't overthink this. In no time at all you'll have settled in and will be dreading Mondays and going for work pints and thinking how silly you were to have been so worried!

Don't put too much pressure on yourself to talk to everyone or to make a good impression in your first few days. Be friendly and polite to everyone, smile at everyone and be as helpful as you can be. Don't get in the way if you can avoid it, don't ask personal questions and put on your 'professional mask' for the first few weeks until you have settled in and then you will find that cultivating friendships will probably happen naturally.

Best of luck!

LegacyUser · 16-10-2010 10:18AM

Thanks,so what personal question should i avoid?

beks101 · 16-10-2010 05:43PM

Well the very fact that you're new means that people are going to expect you to ask questions pertaining to the job - you can't know everything instantaneously. Where something is, what the procedure for doing a certain task is, that's all grand.

When it comes to personal questions, I would say err on the side of caution because you just don't know how people are going to react. I'm grand with questions about how my weekend was, what I did, am I single, family questions etc from my workmates because that's exactly what they are - mates - but would be a bit put out if they came from someone I don't know. Others are different though. My advice would be, it's OK if they have asked you a personal question first. Someone asks you what you did for the weekend etc, you can reply with your answer and then say 'how about you?'.

I think it's important you suss our your work surroundings before you start getting personal with your co-workers. Don't ask personal questions out of the blue just to be part of the crowd. When you're so new to the place you just never know how this is going to go down with somebody. Work 'circles' have already been established and at such an early stage you'd be risking your reputation. So just watch the way people interact with each other, suss out the work vibe, remain friendly, open and keep the smile on your face for the first while. Once you've got your head around the place it'll all flow naturally and that will take a few weeks at most.

Best of luck!

LegacyUser · 20-10-2010 08:39PM

hey,

just wondering how Sean and belongtojazz got on on their first days??

Im starting a new job soon having been out of work for nearly 2 years. I was so excited at first to actually get the job, but now the nerves are creeping in and im worried they'll regret hiring me - i really make the effort to come across as accomplished and a bit more extrovert in the interview, but in reality im quite shy and introvert. There's no way i can keep up the act on a day-to-day basis so i hope they wont be disappointed. Im so so nervous

I just dont want them to be talking amongst themselves about how the new person is so quiet.

bertaluchi · 21-10-2010 08:13AM

unregistered wrote: »

I just dont want them to be talking amongst themselves about how the new person is so quiet.

Hi there,
I worked for a company years ago, a new girl started and she was wayyy over the top, too outgoing, laughed too hard at peoples musings, wanted to know about friday beers etc. - Horrible.

There is a kind of unwritten rule whereby you just blend in for the first while and then you can let your personality shine.
Your demeanor will be spot on!

So don't worry about the too quiet bit. You do have to be friendly though, a smile would do it.

Good luck

LegacyUser · 21-10-2010 12:49PM

"Courage is not the absence of fear. It is the mastery of it."

Can't remember who said that, but I love that quote.

No matter what anyone may say or do, pretty much everyone is afraid/has fear of meeting new people or being in unfamiliar circumstances.

I'm quite shy myself. In the past, it was crippling. I would come up with all sorts of ridiculous excuses to get myself out of things, simply because I was afraid to do them. Sometimes, these could've actually been things that I really wanted to do, but the fear of the unknown prevented me from going through with it.

One thing I've come to realize, is that not only am I not the only person in the entire world who feels this way, but I'm not nearly as badly off as some other poor souls out there.

Some points that have helped me in the past are:

You will always feel fear. It's never going away, so learn to deal with it.
The only way to eradicate a fear of something, is to face that fear head on.
It's better to face your fears, than to live the rest of your life in fear.

I was once thrust into a situation that initially, scared the bejaysis out of me. Someone who was there at the time could tell how nervous I was, but pushed me into this activity anyway. Once I was actually doing it, I complete forgot about the immense fear that was crippling me just moments before.

Afterward this guy asked me, "Are you alive?"
I was like, "Huh?"
He then said, "Did you just die?"
As I said the word "no", I came to the realization that this guy had helped me probably more than anyone else in my life, simply by asking me those two silly questions.

I did something that I was afraid of doing, and nothing bad happened. I was still alive, I didn't die, and I felt great about what I had just done.

Fear can rule (and ruin) your entire life. But, only if you let it.

Maybe this post is a bit of overkill for your situation, but I think the basic principles apply to everyone.

Starting new job and getting nervous now

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