Friend ditching me for girls.

LegacyUser · 30-10-2010 02:39AM #1

Hi,
Sorry for complaining but I think I just need a rant.

My friend, or best friend, he is totally winding me up lately. Right now it's Friday night and we were meant to go out and I've been ditched again. We havent been able to go out in ages and this week was our payday and we planned to go for pints, just the lads and have a bit of fun.

We planned it all week and I was so looking forward to going out. Now he informs me that he is meeting up with a girl on a date. Fine, but he says he wants me to go cos her friends will be there. I am not in the mood now to be the decoy, going out to entertain her friends while he disappears with this girl, I've done it before and just don't want to tonight. Wingman, blah blah, I hear the argument but we planned to go for pints ourselves, I don't know these girls and don't just want to spend my night having to entertain them.

He tells me then to come for a while and talk to them and then I can go at 12 and get a us home. His words. The reason? He wants to go off to a club to hang out with my ex and her pals then with these girls. Like, even if I did him this favour and went to entertain the girls, the least he could do is do me a favour and go somewhere else where I don't have to act like a dancing monkey with these girls infront of my ex.

So I told him I'm not spending time getting ready to just going out to do that and go off home in an hour when he wants to go off and see my ex and her friends. So he got in a big huff and went out without me.

So now I'm the worst in the world for not playing "wingman" for him but why should I put myself out so much when he won't even just go somewhere else where I dont have to put up with ex as well... and he knows this.

I'm really sick of it, I really wanted to go out and just have a few pints.

Its always the same.... Ho's before Bro's with this guy.

Last week we'd planned to go see a match but sure it never came off cos he had met this girl last week or something and she wanted him to go shopping with her or something...
I asked him didn't we have plans and he just asked me where are my priorities... I asked what he meant and he says that why would he go to a match when he could see a girl, where were my priorities, girls are the most important thing.

So yeah, that feels great. Sure, its great he met a girl last weekend in a club, but thats all he knows of her... so apparently thats ok to ditch plans with your friends and drop everything just because you scored a girl once, yeah, she must take priority over everyone else....

Am I wrong to be pissed off? Good for him that he met a girl but he made plans with his friend, is it that hard to keep them. I mean, I'd probably have done him the wingman favour if he'd just not go off to meet my ex and just make it a horrible night for me but he just keeps telling me I'm in the wrong because I won't have to craic with people. I mean, I would other times, but I just don't want to go to entertain these girls so he can disappear to score this girl and then have my ex watching me the whole time. I just want to go for a few pints with my friends.

I'm sure I'll be told I'm over reacting and to go meet other friends or whatever but it's not that easy.

cafecolour · 30-10-2010 04:13PM

Can't you just tell him you're fine going out with them if they don't go out and meet up with your ex and her friends? If he's choosing your ex over you, then, yes, it's time to get a new friend.

Otherwise, I don't know what the problem is - he has a new girl, but he's bringing some for you as well, no?

HavingCrack · 30-10-2010 07:34PM

He's being a right dick truth be told. When you've made plans to meet up with a friend for pints a week in advance or to go to a game a few days beforehand and decide to cancel it at the last minute its the sign of someone being a self centred arse hole.

OP, you'll probably get loads of replies on this saying "he offered to bring girls for you, are you gay or something?", don't listen to these people, that isn't the point. I know if I arranged to meet a friend for a pint and suddenly there were a tonne of girls coming I didn't know and didn't want to meet I'd be fairly pissed off as well. If you've made plans to meet someone who constantly cancels at the last minute he's not someone to rely on.

You're probably better off hanging aroudn with other mates if this lad is as unreliable as he sounds.

LegacyUser · 30-10-2010 07:53PM

I don't see how he was "bringing girls for me".

I have my own girlfriend and don't need anyone to get me girls.

Even if I didnt have a girlfriend, it's always the same thing. I've done it before for him, we get there, he goes talking to to girl, I'm lucky if I'm even introduced to the girl he met, let alone the friends she brings, so here I am trying to explain to them that I am this guys friend when they've never even met him probably, he's just the guy chatting to their friend... so usually I'm just some randomer and I've no interest in all of this, stnading there like a sore thumb or having to be the dancing monkey for these girls just to hold their interest long enough for my friend to disappear with the girl and leave me where with 3 randomers I don't know.

Like, if she was his GF and I knew them, yeah, maybe a few pints would be fine but I've been through this scenaro before with him, I know what it entails and just dont want to do it again.

He can justify doing anything in his own head as long as it is for a girl. Like I don't get it. I'm supposedly one of his best friends, yet he'll drop me at the drop of a hat for a girl he drunkenly scroed for 2 minutes last week, and thats all I know of her. I certaintly wouldn't do it.

LighterGuy · 30-10-2010 08:49PM

One could say "he is a dick" - sad thing is, its not only him op. Its a nature of life. Its the nature of mates.

I know some people might find the following expression crude but >> "pu**y weighs more than friendship to most guys". Its true. Heck all guys have heard the famous saying "when a guy gets a girl he is no-where to be seen to his mates" - There is a reason why thats well known, because its true (the latter is just a nicer way of putting it)

Op, you did nothing wrong. All this is an eye-opener for you to what this friend really is. Alot of people like him in life. Not all. But its all about knowing where to you stand with people (in all aspectss of life) You know now with this person.

cafecolour · 31-10-2010 11:37AM

Ah, in that case, he just sounds overly desperate, all the time.

Sorry to say it, but it just sounds like that's what he's like. I'd join a group/club and meet some new mates - ideally if you have a core group out on the piss, then it doesn't matter if one peels off.

Or if you have some friends that you are close to but not super close, try arranging things like a poker night or such to get some of them together. Have a pint with the lads at work, etc.

K, I just reread your first post and saw the bit about him canceling on watching to match to go shopping(!). That's beyond normal, yer man is crazy desperate. Get new mates for sure. Leave him for the odd occasion where he's on your wavelength.

Friend ditching me for girls.

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