Accidental Stalker Etiquette

exiledelbows · 10-07-2011 09:43PM #1

Was walking home from the night bus late last night, and by the time I reached my street I realised I'd been accidentally following this young woman from the bus stop (purely by the accident that we live on the same street and got the same night bus)

She realised it too, and i think she got a bit freaked out as she spent most of the rest of the walk frantically looking over her shoulder in an apparent attempt to memorise my face for the Feds the next morning.

I really didn't think I'm that scary, but i'll admit I'm a pretty big guy which probably didn't help, but I'm not a sex pest and was just walking home.

So I was just wondering, what does a guy do in this situation?? I figured shouting 'Oi love, calm down, I'm not a sex pest' wouldn't have gone down well, so all I could think of doing in my tipsy state was to take my keys out and kind of jangle them in my hand. I figured this would have the dual purpose of (a) showing I live nearby and (b) that i was keeping my distance and not sneaking up on her or anything

I don't think this helped, because it probably made me sound like some sort of evil prison guard, so people of AH, what should I have done and what should law-abiding men like me do in future??

*This happened in London by the way

strokemyclover · 10-07-2011 09:45PM

"Sex pest"

:D:D

Where To · 10-07-2011 09:45PM

Ask her out ffs:D

Needler · 10-07-2011 09:45PM

Women are obsessed with stalkers these days so I'd just continue as normal. If she said anything to me I would just reply with 'wtf are you on about missus?'

OwenM · 10-07-2011 09:46PM

slow down to put some more distance between you, but don't drop out of sight - that would be really creepy....

Cill Dara Abu · 10-07-2011 09:46PM

Prevert!

Tonyandthewhale · 10-07-2011 09:49PM

You should have followed through...

Now she probably things you're a pussy who chickens out of a good ole stalkering session.

Aoifey! · 10-07-2011 09:51PM

Cill Dara Abu wrote: »

Prevert!

Is that what comes before a pervert?

Red Hand · 10-07-2011 09:51PM

You should have jogged ahead of her and then, she would be the one stalking you.

Haha, the tables have turned!

whydoibother? · 10-07-2011 09:51PM

Just stop in your tracks and play with your phone for a minute. Look like you're responding to a text, busy in your own world and not giving two hoots about her.

Cill Dara Abu · 10-07-2011 09:54PM

Aoifey! wrote: »

Is that what comes before a pervert?

Twas a joke!

Never mind.....:rolleyes:

exiledelbows · 10-07-2011 09:58PM

Tonyandthewhale wrote: »

You should have followed through...

Now she probably things you're a pussy who chickens out of a good ole stalkering session.

Should probably have mentioned I'm in a relationship.

One other thing I should mention. At the moment I realised I'd been following her, I had been drunkenly talking to myself (don't even pretend you don't do it :rolleyes:) and I'm pretty sure the last audible word I said was 'murdered'.

That probably didn't help in hindsight.

exiledelbows · 10-07-2011 10:03PM

whydoibother? wrote: »

Just stop in your tracks and play with your phone for a minute. Look like you're responding to a text, busy in your own world and not giving two hoots about her.

I considered that, but in a way that could look more suspicious, but it would have put more distance between us so probably should have done that

orourkeda · 10-07-2011 10:05PM

Paranoid cant

Son Of A Vidic · 10-07-2011 10:09PM

Larry is that you?.........Getting a bit old are ya?

stevejr · 10-07-2011 10:15PM

Reminds me of that Only fools and horses episode where Del winds Rodney up cause mad Blossom claims she felt her up:pac:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ8ddzfoTyE

Enjoy!

whydoibother? · 10-07-2011 10:16PM

exiledelbows wrote: »

I considered that, but in a way that could look more suspicious, but it would have put more distance between us so probably should have done that

I also thought another option would be to cross the road and pass her out so you're ahead. (I first thought just pass her out, but on her side that could scare the hell out of her as you rapidly approach!:D). I think on reflection the texting is your best bet.

Mickeroo · 10-07-2011 10:20PM

Just shout "Hey! HEY! I'M NOT STALKING YOU OK?"

Latchy · 10-07-2011 10:20PM

I tend to walk fast and it's slightly amusing sometimes to see the old ladys in front twitch their heads back , expecting to be jumped . Sorry old ladys

As for walking at night , ,the good news is I tend to slow down, unless I think their is somebody dodgy behind me :mad:

efb · 10-07-2011 10:22PM

put your penis back in your trousers?

tolosenc · 10-07-2011 10:37PM

Jog up to her, grab her by the shoulders. Once you've done this, start shaking her violently and shouting at her to calm down, that you're not stalking her, and that you just happen to live on the same street. Then jog on.

That or a cheeky piss in a nearby bush.

efb · 10-07-2011 10:39PM

oh yeah its AH!

BLAST HER WITH PISS!

jill_valentine · 10-07-2011 10:55PM

I've done this a few times, because I tend to whack my headphones on and zone out of public space norms altogether. And depending on what song I'm listening to, I can get really into it and make a load of really weird expressions.

I do the old "Suddenly checking phone text" thing if I notice it.

My flatmate - "Cross the street, and then jog past them. Once you "overtake", you're in the clear, although there's a risk they'll think you're chasing them early on".

I think that's horrible advice, but I felt it should be contributed.

Taco Corp · 10-07-2011 11:00PM

I bet she's secretly delighted.. "OMG!! I've got a stalker!! "

Women love stalkers, you're in there

Xlami · 10-07-2011 11:04PM

You should have gotten her contact details so you can share a taxi next time.

--LOS-- · 10-07-2011 11:05PM

nothing

who the hell cares, you can't be worrying about somebody worrying about something that is pure coincidental.

hate it when you're walking nearly behind someone on the street or at the same pace as them, kinda nearly beside them for a bit and they act freaked out, jeezuz this is just the pace I want to walk at!

Ouchette · 10-07-2011 11:18PM

You cross over to the other side of the road so you're not walking right up behind her.

Latchy · 10-07-2011 11:19PM

--LOS-- wrote: »

nothing

who the hell cares, you can't be worrying about somebody worrying about something that is pure coincidental.

hate it when you're walking nearly behind someone on the street or at the same pace as them, kinda nearly beside them for a bit and they act freaked out, jeezuz this is just the pace I want to walk at!

Exactly ,if I want to walk fast at my own pace and it's freaks somebody out because of their social phobia or paranoia well tough ? :mad:

/puts lock on front door ...double checks windows ....slips bibi gun under pillow

TheUsual · 10-07-2011 11:29PM

"Stalking" is only 1 letter away from "Talking".

See what I did there.

Latchy · 10-07-2011 11:32PM

TheUsual wrote: »

"Stalking" is only 1 letter away from "Talking".

See what I did there.

From my room yes ...I saw what you did there .

Daemos · 10-07-2011 11:54PM

Happened me too. Girl was seriously paranoid. On a street where there was only one footpath and no doors I could possibly have been going to, she kept looking back at me. It wasn't even a long or hidden street, maybe 100ft long and right off the main road. Where did she expect me to go, through a wall?

seanbmc · 11-07-2011 12:07AM

There's not much you can do really except cross the road or slow down.

Latchy · 11-07-2011 12:10AM

seanbmc wrote: »

There's not much you can do really except cross the road or slow down.

Yes ,then smile when you realise you both live in the same apartment block .

Nervous Wreck · 11-07-2011 12:14AM

You put your phone up to your ear and you speak loudly enough for her to hear and say "Howya? Yeah, I'm just home now. I'm already on ______ street so I'll only be a couple of minutes."

Or you get over it and just go the fuck home.

Sinfonia · 11-07-2011 12:14AM

Pretend she's Mario and you're one of the ghosts from Mario.

Looks like this (well, in ragecomic form):
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm47pgkVOR1qck752o1_500.jpg

Latchy · 11-07-2011 12:18AM

Or you could just sing this tune fron My Fair Lady '' knowing I'm on the street where you live '' .That will make her run home as fast as she can

Senna · 11-07-2011 12:29AM

Years ago i was walking down a street in london during the day, minding my own business. I was stopped at a pedestrian crossing and it was my first time in the area so i was just looking around at the shops when i decided i wouldn't cross, instead i would walk down the street i was on, as i turned to walk away, a woman standing beside me (the only other person waiting to cross) turned in the same direction at the exact same moment. I didn't really pay much attention until a few minutes later when she looked over her shoulder (i was walking directed behind her) and gave me the worse "scared look" i've ever seen. I just continued straight past her and went into the nearest shop i seen.
I stood in that shop for a good 5 minutes pretending i was looking at t-shirts, hopping she was far enough away.
After enough time i figured i'd walk out of the shop and head back the direction i came, she was bound to be in the opposite direction. So i headed out of the shop and the coast seemed clear, i began to breath a sigh of relief until i turned the corner at the pedestrian crossing where i first ran into her and there she was. Standing about 20 yards directly in front in the direction i was walking. Shear panic set in, should i just turn and walk in a different direction or will that make me look worse, so i just continued walking with my head down and when i got a few yards closer, she seen me, and she turned and ran down the street as fast as i've seen anyone run.
Of course i just turned and almost ran in the opposite direction. Its funny thinking about it now, but i'd say i was as scared as her in the end.

strobe · 11-07-2011 12:33AM

Latchy wrote: »

Or you could just sing this tune fron My Fair Lady '' knowing I'm on the street where you live '' .That will make her run home as fast as she can

I prefer to whistle the Omar tune. Puts 'em right at ease yo. (Trench coat optional but advised)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMm1Wih0kug

Nulty · 11-07-2011 12:36AM

You may aswell stalk her. No point in getting charged for something you haven't done.

Harry Angstrom · 11-07-2011 12:42AM

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

You put your phone up to your ear and you speak loudly enough for her to hear and say "Howya? Yeah, I'm just home now. I'm already on ______ street so I'll only be a couple of minutes."

That would be a good idea but what if your phone started ringing while you had it up to your ear telling some imaginary person that you're just home now??

The poor girl would be seriously freaked!!

Ficheall · 11-07-2011 12:49AM

Happened to me up in Donegal a few years ago. At about 2 in the morning I was walking home from town, about half a mile out a main road, no footpath or anything. Mostly fields and feck all houses, no street lights etc. Some lass about 100metres in front of me the whole way, was sore tempted to yell at her that it was ok - I wasn't following her, & that one could see the lights of my house up ahead... but in the end opted not to. Dunno where she was heading to either - there's nothing much out beyond our gaf, and I can't imagine she'd have felt too comfortable when she looked back to find I'd disappeared up the driveway of our house. Poor lass.

artanevilla · 11-07-2011 01:08AM

Drop trou.

--LOS-- · 11-07-2011 02:43AM

most of the people in here maintaining an act to divert any accusation of stalking sound far creepier than any real stalker :P

Latchy · 11-07-2011 09:26AM

Senna wrote: »

Years ago i was walking down a street in london during the day, minding my own business. I was stopped at a pedestrian crossing and it was my first time in the area so i was just looking around at the shops when i decided i wouldn't cross, instead i would walk down the street i was on, as i turned to walk away, a woman standing beside me (the only other person waiting to cross) turned in the same direction at the exact same moment. I didn't really pay much attention until a few minutes later when she looked over her shoulder (i was walking directed behind her) and gave me the worse "scared look" i've ever seen. I just continued straight past her and went into the nearest shop i seen.
I stood in that shop for a good 5 minutes pretending i was looking at t-shirts, hopping she was far enough away.
After enough time i figured i'd walk out of the shop and head back the direction i came, she was bound to be in the opposite direction. So i headed out of the shop and the coast seemed clear, i began to breath a sigh of relief until i turned the corner at the pedestrian crossing where i first ran into her and there she was. Standing about 20 yards directly in front in the direction i was walking. Shear panic set in, should i just turn and walk in a different direction or will that make me look worse, so i just continued walking with my head down and when i got a few yards closer, she seen me, and she turned and ran down the street as fast as i've seen anyone run.
Of course i just turned and almost ran in the opposite direction. Its funny thinking about it now, but i'd say i was as scared as her in the end.

^ Sounds like a scene from a Woody Allen movie

mconigol · 11-07-2011 09:32AM

where do i go from here wrote: »

Ask her out ffs:D

No............Don't!

Did something similar in Greece a while back. Ended up with her stalking me in the bar the next night...literally peering around corners smirking at me!

Crazy bitch was into crystal healing and all sorts!

efb · 11-07-2011 09:21PM

mconigol wrote: »

No............Don't!

Did something similar in Greece a while back. Ended up with her stalking me in the bar the next night...literally peering around corners smirking at me!

Crazy bitch was into crystal healing and all sorts!

We've done the whole asking girl out thing...

Toby Take a Bow · 11-07-2011 09:30PM

Latchy wrote: »

Yes ,then smile when you realise you both live in the same apartment block .

A disturbing, creepy smile.

Radharc na Sleibhte · 11-07-2011 09:36PM

Stop smelling her hair.
That wouldve creeped her out in fairness.

Latchy · 12-07-2011 12:14PM

Toby Take a Bow wrote: »

A disturbing, creepy smile.

Is there any other kind ? .You've done this before

Vicxas · 12-07-2011 12:23PM

I just mess with my Ipod if i find myself in this situation.

Seachmall · 12-07-2011 12:30PM

I was smoking on the street when an aul dear walked past me into an alleyway. The cold breeze started to pick up so I moved into the alleyway and stopped just as she looked over her shoulder at me. I then went to move further up as I was still feeling to cold and stopped again just as she looked at me.

All 70 odd years of her began running out of the alleyway thinking she was about to be mugged.

Accidental Stalker Etiquette

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